Man: Gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Sunshine!
Marshall: Barney, I really don't think this is gonna help.
Barney: Do you know why you're not over Lily yet? It's 'cause you can still picture her naked. You can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs. It's a scientific fact. The average male brain can only store a finite number of boob images, or BPEGs and your hard drive's filled to capacity with Lily's.
finite 限りある BPEGs When one observes a strikingly awesome pair of boobies and then stores the visual image in their mind.
Marshall: There are a lot of them.
Barney: They won't go away until you overwrite them with images of other women's boobs. Now, this journey may take as many as a million boobs so we begin here tonight my friend. Two at the time. Those count as four.
Ted: Yeah, this is fun, right? We're outside, it's a beautiful day. The Indians are winning!
Marshall: I gotta admit, it is really nice to be outside.
Man: Yankee's fans, please turn your attention to the Diamond Vision for a special seventh-inning-stretch surprise.
Ted: Oh, no.
Marshall: It's all a big lie! She's just gonna break your heart! You can drag me outta here, but she has no soul!
Ted: We've tried everything. Baseball, strippers. The guy still won't eat a damn pancake. I think he's beyond repair.
Robin: See, this is the problem with guys, you don't know how to deal with heartbreak.
Barney: So what's your prescription, Dr Oestrogen? Eat Hagen-Dazs and Watch Love actually until your periods sync up?
Robin: Yeah, that's the stuff.
that's the stuff それそれ。その通り。
Marshall: Oh my God! How long have you been doing this?
Robin: My Dad taught me to shoot when I was a kid. Now, whenever I'm feeling lonely or depressed, I come here and it reminds me that... guns are fun!
Marshall: Um, you know, Ted is kinda against guns.
Robin: That's why Ted never gonna find out about this. Whoa! That sort of got scary with me holding a gun, didn't it? No, I just mean, please don't tell Ted. You wanna try?
Marshall: Only hell, yes. Oh yeah, yeah. This is what I needed. I felt so powerless this whole time but this... This is power, this is...
Robin: I should have mention the recoil.
recoil 反動 たじろぐ、萎縮する、ひるむ
Ted: I'll hand it to you. When he got home, Marshall was smiling. Did you sleep with him? 'Cause I was actually like three days away from suggesting that.
hand it to に対して褒め言葉を贈る
Robin: Sometimes, all you need is to get in touch with your feminine side.
Ted: Well, congratulations. You're the first person to cheer him up all summer. You win.
Robin: Oh! What do I win?
Ted: I'll tell what you win. I'm taking you away this weekend.
Robin: You are? That's so nice!
Ted: My aunt and uncle have a beach house at Montauk. It's really romantic. My uncle had, like, three affairs there.
Robin: Wow, it must be a nice house. I saw pictures of your uncle. This is so great. We'll finally get some time alone. Are you sure Marshall is gonna be OK with this?
Marshall: Yeah sure. Absolutely. Dude, I'm doing much better. In fact, take my car.
Ted: Really? Hey, thanks. And hey, if you need anything, day or night, just call me. You know what? Please don't call her. What? What's wrong?
Marshall: It's Lily's credit card bill. She must have forgotten to switch her address.
Marshall: I wonder what kind of charges she's making out there.
Ted: No, no. No good can come from looking at this. You've made too much progress already.
No good can come from looking at this これを見ててもいいことは起きないよ
Marshall: I know, but I just...
Marshall: August 5, one charge - tickets. To what? George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars. August 10, one charge, Tennis Emporium. August 18, two charges. Mario's bistro and - get this - Pet Palace. You guys see what it means right?
Lily: Wow, Mario's bistro. What a perfect place to whore around.
George Clinton: Only the best for my little Lily Pad.
Lily: Oh funk legend George Clinton, I am so glad you spotted me at your concert an drag me on stage to dance with you Courteney Cox style.
George Clinton: I am so glad you agreed to play tennis with me.
Lily: Oh you know, Marshall tried to get me to play tennis for nine years but I didn't do it because I never truly loved him.
George Clinton: I got you a gift.
Lily: Oh! A ferret. I'll buy it some food next door at the Pet Palace. I've always wanted one, but Marshall have this secret phobia of ferrets.
George Clinton: I bet that's something he made you promise to tell nobody.
Lily: It was! Oh, I love you funk legend George Clinton.
George Clinton: I love you too, Lily. That's right Marshall, she's all mine. Now I'm gonna let her play with my hair.
Ted: That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.
Robin: Yeah. Why are you afraid of ferrets, they are adorable.
Marshall: Because, Robin, they are like fuzzy tube-shaped rats.
Barney: Those charges are from a month ago.
Barney: For new charges, you have to go to her online account. You can see credit card activity from like two hours ago. But... You know... Don't...
Ted: Why do you talk? Why do you talk?
Barney: He needs her password. Its not like he has her password. Ooh, he has her password. This is... He has her password.
Marshall: There is a charge from earlier today. The Kellet Hotel, on Fifth. I don't believe this. Lily is back in New-York. I can't believe this. Lily's in New-York? I guess I'd been thinking when she got back she's call me. That's the only reason I've been able to hold it together so far this summer.
Robin: This has been holding in together?
Marshall: OK, you know what? I'm calling her.
Ted: No! You're not calling her. This changes nothing. You, come here. While we're away this weekend can you keep an eye on him? Make sure he doesn't call her hotel.
Barney: You want me to baby-sit him? 20 bucks. An hour. And money for pizza.
Ted: Um yeah. How about you do it for free or every time we hang out you have to watch this. Come here my little baby.
Barney: OK, I'll do it! Stop being a couple.
Ted: Marshall! Marshall!
Marshall: Ted, I know I shouldn't do this but I have to!
Ted: Everything we've worked so hard for...!
Marshall: Hello, Lily Aldrin's room please. Thank you.
Ted: Hang up now!
Marshall: Ted, I can't hang up now.
Ted: Hang up now! Hang up now! Hang up now! Hang up!
Marshall: Hello?! A guy answered. There is... There is a guy in her room. I'm going down there.
Ted: Dude, you can't...
Marshall: I have to go down there and I have to tell her I love her. I have to beg to take me back even if I have to tell on my knees.
Robin: Marshall, you can't do that!
Marshall: Really? Why not?