Narator: Meanwhile, Lily had been up all night in the grips of a dilemma.
meanwhile その一方で in the grips of 〜から逃れられない dilemma ジレンマ
Lily: Oh honey, you're awake?
Marshall: I'm awake. Is everything okay?
Lily: Yeah. I've kind of been wrestling with something. What if I told you I had a way to pay for our honeymoon?
Marshall: Baby, our honeymoon's already paid for. We're going to Howe Caverns.
Lily: Well yeah, but-- but what if we didn't want to spend our honeymoon in a cave?
Marshall: It's not just a cave, it's a whole labyrinth of caves. It's an underground adventure. There's a cave that's so dark that you don't even know you're in there. I mean, we're going to experience a whole new kind of dark.
Lily: Well, what if I found a way to make a little extra money so that we spend our honeymoon not in Howe Caverns, but in Scotland?
Marshall: Loch Ness?
Lily: Yeah. And you know, Edinburgh and the Highlands and Glasgow...
Marshall: Loch Ness. Nessy. Baby, I would love to search for the enchanted creature of the Emerald Loch, but... we can't afford that.
Lily: Maybe we can.
Barney: Paint me.
Lily: Okay, I don't get this. You've been making fun of that painting all this time and now you want me to paint you?
Barney: We knew we could torture Marshall because he has shame. I do not. In my body, where the shame gland should be, there's a second awesome gland. True story.
torture こじつける gland 体の腺
Lily: Yeah, that's not the gland I'm worried about painting.
Barney: Yeah. A nude Barney is a challenge. But I think you're talented enough to immortalize this. Now is the time-- I'm 31. I'm at the peak of my physical beauty. If I were a woman, I'd have passed it long, long ago. Long ago.
Lily: Forget it. I promised Marshall he was the only guy I would ever see naked.
Barney: I'll give you $5,000.
Marshall: We're going to Loch Ness!
Ted: That cabby would not shut up.
Mr.Druthers: Yeah, we should call him a gabby.
Ted: I think it, you say it.
Mr.Druthers: Hey, uh... thanks for putting me up last night, buddy. Give them hell.
put up 泊める
Ted: Morning, team. So, I have given it some thought, and I say we revisit columns.
Mr.Druthers: Oh, God, not this again. Ted, a man in a toga just arrived and delivered a parchment. Let me read it. Oh! It's from ancient Greece. They want their basic architectural elements back. Geez.
toga トーガ parchment パーチメント ancient 古代人
Mr.Druthers: You didn't hear me? Toga, parchment...
Ted: Can I see you for one second?
Mr.Druthers: Ooh, I'm in trouble now.
Ted: What are you doing? I thought we were friends. You slept on my couch, you ate my cereal. I tossed you more toilet paper.
Mr.Druthers: We are friends. But that doesn't magically make your bad ideas good.
Ted: What? I don't believe this! You're, you're, you're wearing my clothes! And my girlfriend's... sneakers, man, you have weirdly small feet.
Mr.Druthers: Ted, I hope that you're not going to let our professional woes interfere with our friendship, because I really kind of need you right now.
woe 苦悩 interfere 妨げる
Lily: Okay, let's get this over with.
Barney: Hey, hey! I don't want you phoning this in. This painting could, someday, become a serious work of art. I mean, you have been blessed with an amazing gift.
blessed with 〜の恩恵を受けている
Lily: Thank you.
Barney: I meant me. Now, I like how you captured Marshall's essence. Goofy and unburdened, with wit. But me, I want something more regal. Something my progeny could look at and say, "There's stands Barnabus Stinson." He was wise... and strong.
essence 本質 Goofy おろかな unburden 打ち明ける progeny 産物
Lily: I don't think your sword will fit.
Barney: I get that a lot.
Narator: And so, as Lily began painting, Marshall thought about the $5,000 and what his fiancee was doing to earn it.
Marshall: This isn't right. This isn't right at all.
Narator: Finally, he could take it no more.
Lily: Hold still. Hold still. Hold still!
Barney: Paint faster!
Lily: Okay, I guess it's time. Drop your shorts.
Barney: Yeah. Wait, wait! That wasn't enough buildup. I need... In a world without justice, one man...
Lily: Oh, just drop them!
Barney: All right.
Marshall: No! No, this is not right!
Barney: We had a deal!
Marshall: Well, I'm going back on the deal. Barney, get out!
Marshall: It's over!
Marshall: Lily, I can't let you go through with this!
Marshall: I found a castle we can stay in, but it's an extra two grand.
Marshall: It's just not right!
Marshall: It's beautiful and they say it's haunted.
Marshall: I can't let the woman I love compromise her values for money!
Marshall: I totally think we can get some more money out of him.
Marshall: I'm never letting my fiancee, ever...!
Marshall: Oh, you're still here?
Barney: Before you say anything, I'll give you an extra five grand.
Marshall: We accept.
Barney: You people are so easy to control. Dance for me, puppets, dance.
Narator: And that's how Uncle Barney paid for Lily and Marshall's honeymoon.
Mr.Druthers: Come on, Ted, listen, why don't we get back and finish drawing the plans for a building which, in my opinion, is never going to get built, so you and I can get out of here and grab a couple of beers.
Ted: No. Look, Hammond, there's no easy way to say this but...
Man: Looking for Hammond Druthers.
Mr.Druthers: Oh, that's me. I'm Hammond Druthers.
Man: These are divorce papers. You've been served.
Ted: Oh, God.
Mr.Druthers: She's really going through with this. So that's it. It's over.
Ted: There is no easy way to say this, but...
Mr.Druthers: She's giving me the remains of Wolfie? My dog is dead? Oh, my God. I can't believe this. She always played too rough with him.
Ted: Believe me, there is no easy way to say this...
Men: Happy birthday to you...
Ted: You've got to be kidding me!
Mr.Druthers: Guys, you have no idea how much this means to me right now.
Ted: Wait, his birthday was yesterday!
Man: Yeah, but a bunch of us were up at the conference in Montreal, so we thought...
Ted: No! No birthday! No! I got something to say and I'm gonna get it out. Hammond, listen to me. I am sorry that your dog died, and that your wife is divorcing you and that... your life is falling apart and that these guys missed your birthday. And there is no easy way to say... What are you doing? What's going on?
Mr.Druthers: Oh, God...
Ted: Oh, come on, you're not going to pull that, are you? Oh! Look, yeah, right. Now we're falling onto the ground. Well, nice try, but guess what? You're fired! You're fired, you get it? You hear me? You're gone! You're fired!
Narator: In my defense, I think we all suspected Hammond might have been faking. On the plus side, the EMTs seem to think he's going to be just fine and, as you saw, they did admit that I did not cause the heart attack, even if they said it a bit begrudgingly. And there it was, rock bottom They all hated me. But just when all seemed lost, I had the greatest idea of my entire career.
Man: Margarita Fridays--great idea, boss.
Lily: Okay, it's done. I'm gonna step out, so you can admire it.
Barney: Thank you very much, Lily.
Lily: Marshall, do you have the money?
Lily: Let's get out of here!
Barney: A smooth area?! You gave me the Ken doll?! Marshall and Lily get out of the apartment. She left out Little Barney. Barnacle Junior. My Barnana is... Barnito Supreme.