ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I make compositions, Robin makes excuses."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzThe Magician's Code

Which brings us to the story of a wedding day that went horribly wrong.

Ted, the bride wants to see you.

Uncle Barney was getting married.How the hell did we get there?

I love the name Marvin.Marv.Sounds like a little middle-aged man.

Golf next weekend, Marv?

How's that tax report coming, Marv?

At your age, erectile dysfunction is nothing to be ashamed of, Marv.

erectile –u‹NŤ‚Ě dysfunction ‹@”\áŠQ

It was a beautiful moment.But then a thought popped into my head, kids.The same thought that will pop into your heads the first time you see your best friend holding their baby.

Wonder how much this would hurt.

That guy's a dad.

Oh, I think he's hungry.

Oh, we'll give you some privacy.

Wow.Seeing them in there all together like that, they're a family, you know? That's what I want.

Oh, Ted, I'm glad we're friends again.

Me, too.

Because as your friend, I have to tell you: You're full of crap! You say you want a family, you say you want to meet The One, but you are always chasing the wrong women.

That is not true.

Look at the women you date, starting with me: I told you right away I didn't want marriage or kids.Stella had a child with another man who she still loved.Zoey was married and trying to sabotage your career and wore a lot of stupid hats.If you really wanted a family, you would stop pursuing women you know that there is no future with.

Okay, first of all, hats were in that year, kind of.Secondly, I don't always choose women there's no future with, kind of.

Name one exception.

Victoria.Victoria was great.

Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass.

You mean you?

Thank you! Victoria is the only woman you've dated who could've been The One.You should call her.

Tiny thing, last time I saw her, she was getting engaged.

That was eight months ago.For all you know, she's single again.

What if she's married?

What if she's not? Then you would actually have a chance to get what you say you want, and it terrifies you.Why? Because if I stole a scalpel and I cut you open, all I would find inside is a scared, trembling pile of crap.

See, I've missed these talks.

Oh, me, too.

Yeah.

Whoa.What's wrong?

I ruined things with Quinn.I insisted she stop stripping, we got in a huge fight about it, then I ran off to Atlantic City for two days without calling.What the hell am I coming home to?

Let's have an eight-way with my six hottest stripper friends.

Um, how is that a punishment?

Wait for it.

But I forbid you from filming it with your overhead camera that zooms in on whoever's being the loudest.

Nooooo!

No, that's too cruel.

Or, you know, maybe Quinn's moved out.

I didn't even think of that!

Welcome home.I decided the place was a bit too American Psycho for me, so while you were gone, I hired a decorator and I asked him, What would the inside of Tinkerbell's vagina look like? And the kid just ran with it! So what do you think?

Thank God you're still here!

Welcome home.

Lily and Marshall asked Robin to be the photographer for Baby Marvin's Birth Announcement card instead of me.Whatever.The only problem?

These are terrible, Robin!

Hey, it is not easy getting a good shot cooped up in this apartment!

coop up •Â‚śž‚ß‚é

See, two different styles: I make compositions, Robin makes excuses.Click! Photo burn!

composition ˜a‰đ

Okay.How about this? Tomorrow, we go to Central Park at sunset and we get the perfect picture in the perfect setting.

Oh, I like that.It'll be Marvin's first outing into the world.

You're gonna love the park, buddy.It's a great place to meet chicks.Or-or dudes.Or both.

Oh, we love you no matter what!

And kids, as I watched your Aunt Lily hold her baby boy, another thought popped into my head.

Even though you didn't buy anything, I want to thank you for coming in.Here's a free teddy bear.What are you gonna name the little guy?

Six Pack.

Gun it, bitches!

That girl's a mom!

Okay, so I met this girl on the train, and I texted her, What's up She texted, Hey, exclamation point.Does that mean, Ask me out or Just

Ted, we are responsible for a whole other human life now, so new rule: You can't come to us with any issue unless it's an 8 or higher.

Got it.So I'm thinking of texting back a winky smiley face.

Eight or higher, bro.

Well, no, what should I

Eight or higher, bro.

No, yeah, I'm just wondering if

Eight or higher, bro.

Well, where do you rate this?

This is the same as what's in little Marvin's pants right now: a soft two.Sorry, bro.

Stop texting the bimbo and call Victoria.

That chapter's over.W-We just weren't destined to be together.

destine ‰^–˝‚Ă‚Ż‚é

Destined.Aren't you tired of waiting for destiny, Ted? Isn't it time to make your own destiny?

Hey, false alarm.What I was smelling was the previous poop, which, apparently, is still somewhere on my clothes and/or in my hair.Hold him, would you?

Oh.Here.Ooh.Yeah, smart.

Oh, sure, that one turns out great.

And then another thought popped into my head: That guy's nowhere near being a dad.

Hello?

Hey, Victoria, it's Ted.Um, listen, I was just wondering if you wanted to catch up sometime; it's been a while.

That sounds nice.I'm actually around this afternoon.

Oh, wow, uh, great.MacLaren's at 2:00?

Is 1:30 okay? I might have a thing later.

Yeah.Yeah.See you then.

See you then.

Meanwhile, Barney and Quinn were off to Hawaii for their first getaway as a couple.

Ma'am, I need you to open your suitcase.

It's mine.Did you have to replace my luggage, too?

Run away on me again, you'll be wearing hot pink stilettos.

What's that?

Yeah, what is that?

It's a magic trick.

You see, I'm something of a magician.

Open the box, sir.

Oh, I can't do that.

Sir, are there drugs in that box?

Oh, no.He's probably just barking because of the explosives.

Oh, my God!

Tell us what's in the box right now!

I can't.

Magician's Code.

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