Narator: When your Uncle Marshall was ten years old, he read a book called Life Among the Gorillas. It was written by an anthropologist named Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez, it told the story of the year she spent living among the Western Lowland Gorillas of Cameroon. When Dr. Birnholz-Vazquez came to the local community college to give a lecture, Marshall, the youngest member of the audience, raised his hand with a question.
Marshall: What advice do you have for a budding anthropologist?
Dr.Birnholz: So you want to be an anthropologist?
Marshall: Yep. When I grow up, I want to go live with the gorillas, just like you did.
Narator: What she said next changed his life.
Dr.Birnholz: Oh, that's wonderful, but I'm afraid you can't. They'll all be dead by then...
Marshall:...and if economic sanctions and trade restrictions aren't enforced, the destruction of the rainforests will continue and over a million species will be wiped out.
economic sanctions 経済制裁 destruction 破滅 rainforest 熱帯雨林 species 種
Ted: So you don't want coffee.
Marshall: I'm saying that the coffee industry is causing irreversible...
Ted: All right. I'm pouring it out.
pour out 飲み物をつぐ
Marshall: Okay, one cup. The kid needs to be alert. First day on the job and everything.
Ted: I still can't believe you're going all corporate on us. "The kid" has become "the man."
Marshall: Okay, it's just an internship to make a little money. After law school, I'm going to work for the NRDC. They're gonna stop global warming.
Narator: Well... I mean... they did their best.
Lily: Here's your sack lunch.
Marshall: Okay, I love you because, one, you made me a sack lunch and two, you laugh every time you say the word "sack".
Lily: I love you, Marshmallow.
Marshall: I love you.
Ted: I love you too, Marshmallow.
Marshall: Uh-oh. Ted?
Ted: Oh, no. No, she didn't.
Marshall: Yeah. Yeah, she did.
Ted: Another care package?
Narator: Another care package. I'd been in a long-distance relationship with Victoria for nearly a month. Long-distance relationships are a bad idea.
care package 親類や友人に、ささやかなプレゼントや季節のものを詰めて送る小包など。
Marshall: How many is that so far?
so far 今までのところ
Lily: And how many have you sent her?
Ted: In the mail or in my mind? Zero. She's up three-zip. Oh! Cupcakes! Great. I bet they're delicious, too. Yup, they're delicious. Damn it! I don't deserve these delicious cupcakes. God, I hate myself right now.
Marshall: God, that is so me at 15.
Narator: Marshall was going to work for a big corporation called Altrucel. Altrucel was most well-known for making the yellow fuzzy stuff on the surface of tennis balls. I mean, this was a huge company, so they did other things... But mostly they wanted the public to focus on the yellow fuzzy stuff. Anyway, Marshall managed to score an internship in their legal department because he knew someone who worked there.
Barney: Go for Barney.
Voice: Mr. Stinson, this is Willis from lobby security. Sorry to bother you, but we've had reports of a sasquatch loose in the building.
Barney: A sasquatch?
Voice: That's right, sir, a Bigfoot. We don't want to alarm you, but he's been spotted on your floor.
Barney: Yes! Look at you. You suited in an unmistakably upward direction.
unmistakably 間違いなく upward 上昇する
Marshall: Whoa. That is a butt-load of motivational posters.
a butt-load of たくさん
Barney: Yeah, hell, yeah. I got them.
Marshall: There's one for awesomeness?
Barney: Yeah, I had it made. Sit.
have it made 成功間違いなしである
Marshall: Hey, so, now that I'm working here, are you finally going to tell me exactly what your job is?
Man #1: My dawg!
Man #2: My dawg!
Barney: Hey, Blauman, Bilson, this is Marshall. These guys are in legal. You're gonna be working with them.
Marshall: Marshall Eriksen. Nice to meet you.
Bilson: Nice tie. Steak sauce.
Blauman: Oh, steak sauce! For true, though.
Marshall: Where, I don't, I don't see...
Barney: Marshall? Sidebar. Your tie is steak sauce. It means A-1. A-1? Get it? Try to keep up.
try to keep up 遅れないでついて行こう
Bilson: Okay, Eriksen, let's get to work. It's 2:00 a.m. It's raining outside. Ding dong! What? The doorbell? Oh, hello, Jessica Alba in a trench coat and nothing else. But wait-- knock, knock. Somebody's at the back door?
Marshall: I don't have a back door.
Bilson: Oh, my gosh, Jessica Simpson? What a surprise. Two Jessicas, you gotta pick one. What do you do? Go.
Marshall: Right. Well, uh... I'm engaged, so--
Bilson: Fiancee's out of town. What do you do? Go.
Marshall: We're still engaged, even if she's...
Bilson: Okay, fiancee's dead. Hit by a bus. What do you do? Go.
Ted: Sure you don't want one?
Robin: How many of those have you eaten?
Ted: Four. Teen. No, just four. And the icing from two more. So, anyway, here's the problem.
Ted: Hey, it's Ted. I guess you're asleep. Anyway, I got the care package, and it's just great. Here, listen... Mmm. Mmm!
Ted: So I'm standing there, my mouth full of this delicious relationship-winning cupcake... And... I said something dumb.
Ted: Oh, and, um... don't worry, yours is in the mail. I sent it a couple days ago. And it's awesome. Really, really awesome.
Ted: Why did I say that? I think frosting makes me lie.
Robin: Oh, Teddy boy.
Ted: Yeah. So now, whatever I send her, she'll know I sent it after I talked to her. So that's the problem. You work on that. I'm gonna eat this cupcake.
Robin: All right, here's what you do: Put together a care package of stuff from New York-- some H&H bagels, an Empire State Building keychain... and then, top off the package with a New York Times... Ready? From three days ago.
Ted: That's brilliant. You're brilliant. You know, it's funny, not so long ago, I was coming to Marshall and Lily for advice on how to impress you.
Robin: That is funny.
Narator: And here's why it was funny.
Narator: Little did I realize, a few weeks earlier, here's what Robin was saying to Lily about me.
Little did I realize 考えもしなかった
Robin: Okay, fine, I have feelings for him.
Ted: Now it's ironic, the girl I used to like is helping me impress the girl I now like.
Robin: The irony is clear, Ted.