Ted: Her favorite CD in the Otis Redding box set? Disc three. My favorite? Any guesses? Anyone? Come on. Disc three! God, Victoria's so amazing! I could talk about her for hours.
Lily: What do you mean "could"?
Ted: I'm sorry, it's just... God, I... I'm crazy about this girl. It feels like maybe... I don't want to say it.
Barney: Trust that impulse, Ted.
Robin: Hey. Something kind of cool just happened. My story on Pickles, the Singing Dog, just got nominated for a Local Area Media Award.
Lily: A... LAME-A?
Robin: We prefer Local Area Media Award. Um... there's going to be this big banquet. I know these things aren't much fun, but it would really mean a lot to me if you guys came. And there's an open bar.
prefer 提出する、申請する、申し入れる banquet 宴会
All: Yes! Word up!
Word up その通り
Ted: Yeah, put me down for two.
Robin: Really? It's three months away.
Ted: I know, but... guys, I'm sorry, I'm going to say it. I have a feeling Victoria's going to be around for a long time.
Ted: I'm going to miss Victoria. I should just skip this thing entirely. Robin's still pissed at me after... you know.
entirely 全く、完全に pissed at にむかつく
Barney: You lied and said you were broken up with Victoria before you actually were so you could try to nail Robin and you wound up losing both girls in one night?
wound up 終える
Ted: Yes, that's what I meant by "you know." I haven't seen her in three weeks. She won't return my calls. Look, I shouldn't go.
Marshall: You should definitely go. Look, it's a chance to show her you're still friends and that you support her.
Barney: Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better, triple threat-- hotter and bigger boobs.
show up with を引き連れて現れる
Ted: That's only two.
Barney: Count again.
Ted: Barney, I'm not bringing a date. Even if I wanted to, the thing's in two hours.
Barney: So get an escort.
Ted: By "escort," you mean prostitute?
Barney: Why not?
Ted: Because... gross?
Barney: Oh, gross. What, you have some puritanical hang-up about prostitution? Dude, it's the world's oldest profession.
puritanical 厳格な、禁欲的な the world's oldest profession 売春
Marshall: You really think that's true?
Barney: Oh, yeah. I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Aha, so then the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You've been lawyered.
Barney: Come on, Ted, let's get you a hooker. It'll be fun.
Ted: Okay, to bring to the banquet and hang out with ironically or to actually have sex with?
Ted: No! It's illegal. And did I mention gross?
Barney: That's adorable. Ted, you're such a hayseed. The companionship business is the growth industry of the 21st century. You do realize that one out of every eight adult women in America is a prostitute.
hayseed アメリカの労働者階級の農村部員に対する軽蔑的な言葉 companionship 交際
Marshall: You just made that up.
Marshall: Lawyered. The point is, how long has it been?
Lawyered =To pwn someone with evidence
Ted: 57 days.
Barney: Is that your water? May I?
Ted: Yeah, go ahead.
Barney: Much obliged. 57 days?! Ted, you are in a slump.
Ted: No, it's not a slump. It's an intentional hiatus from girls. A slump is when you strike out every time you step up to the plate. But I'm off the roster, baby. I'm in the locker room sitting in the whirlpool. And I'll tell you something, it feels pretty good.
hiatus 中断、休止 whirlpool お払い箱にする
Barney: Yeah, you know what else is in that locker room? A naked dudes hanging brain. Ted, you need a lady. And I've got the next best thing-- Mary. She lives in my building. She's smart, she's hot, she's totally cool.
Ted: Oh, she sounds great. And who knows? Maybe we'll wind up getting married someday. You know, if we can get a blessing from her pimp.
wind up 結局〜になる blessing 喜ぶべきこと pimp 売春あっせん業者
Barney: You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic? That's racism. And I do not drink with racists. Good day.
solely もっぱら、ただ一人で characteristic 特徴、特性 racism 人種差別
Ted: You're just waiting for me to speak, so you can...
Barney: I said good day!
Robin: So should I wear my hair up or down? Lily.
Robin: You okay?
Lily: Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm just exhausted from work. The stupid school board took away nap time in all kindergarten classes and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day. It's much harder to deal with because, well, I don't get my nap.
nap time 昼寝の時間
Robin: Wait, you were taking naps when the kids were? Is that safe?
Lily: Well, they're only five. What are they gonna do to me?
Robin: Ted's still coming to this thing, right?
Robin: Do you think, um... hypothetically... it would be weird if I bring a date?
Lily: Look at you, Scherbotsky, blatantly trying to make Ted jealous.
Robin: No, it's just this guy at the station. I never get involved with co-workers, but he asked me and I said yes. Is it going to be weird?
get involved with 〜と深い仲になる
Lily: No, it's not going to be weird at all. Robin's bringing a date.
Marshall: Boy. That's going to be really weird.
Lily: I know.
Marshall: Robin's bringing a date.
Ted: Oh. Okay. That's not weird. She's bringing a date. I'm glad she's moving on.
Marshall: Dude, it's going to be weird.
Ted: No, it's fine. Look, in spite of whatever happened between us, Robin and I are still friends. I don't think it'll be weird.
in spite of 〜にもかかわらず
Barney: Yeah, it won't be weird.
Ted: Thank you.
Barney: Because you're going to bring your own date.
Woman: Hello, Barney.
Barney: Hi, Mary. Have you met Ted?
Mary: Nice to meet you Ted.
Ted: Hi, Mary. Wow. It's, uh, nice to meet you, too.
Mary: So we're going to an award show?
Ted: Uh, yeah, will you just excuse us for one minute? Barney.
Barney: See you in two shakes, Mare. You two make yourselves comfortable.
in two shakes すぐに、すぐさま、一瞬にして
Ted: What the hell?
Barney: Dude, your narrow-minded views on professional fornicators were harshing my mellow. So I got you a date for the evening.
fornicator 密通する人、姦淫を犯した者 harsh 厳しい、手厳しい
Ted: You got me a hooker. A really hot hook-- A hooker!
Barney: Think about it, this is perfect. A: it will make Robin insanely jealous... B: you get to have sex with her... and C: maybe by getting to know Mary, you'll come to see that courtesans are people, too. And D: "B" all night long.
insanely 正気とは思えないほど courtesan 高級売春婦
Ted: I'm not taking a prostitute to Robin's banquet.
Barney: The only people who will know are you, me and Marshall. No one will suspect a thing. They'll just see you with this unbelievably smoking hot girl and... Okay, that's a little bit suspicious. Look, I'm just trying to expand your horizons a little bit tonight. But if you're not interested, fine, I'm out 500 bucks. Whatever.
I'm out 500 bucks =I lost / I lose $500
Ted: 500 bucks?
Barney: Ted, you're my cabron. You think I'm gonna stick you with some toothless tranny from the Port Authority? Look at how hot she is. Robin would be so jealous.
cabron スペイン語 クソ野郎 tranny 性転換者
Ted: I'm not trying to make Robin jealous, Barney. Look, I... tell Mary, thanks, but no thanks. I have a soul.