ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"In spite of whatever happened between us"

ƒWƒFƒ‰ƒV[

ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“1yŒ´‘čzMary the Paralegal

Ted: Her favorite CD in the Otis Redding box set? Disc three. My favorite? Any guesses? Anyone? Come on. Disc three! God, Victoria's so amazing! I could talk about her for hours.

Lily: What do you mean "could"?

Ted: I'm sorry, it's just... God, I... I'm crazy about this girl. It feels like maybe... I don't want to say it.

Barney: Trust that impulse, Ted.

impulse Ő“Ž

Robin: Hey. Something kind of cool just happened. My story on Pickles, the Singing Dog, just got nominated for a Local Area Media Award.

Lily: A... LAME-A?

Robin: We prefer Local Area Media Award. Um... there's going to be this big banquet. I know these things aren't much fun, but it would really mean a lot to me if you guys came. And there's an open bar.

prefer ’ńo‚ˇ‚éA\ż‚ˇ‚éA\‚ľ“ü‚ę‚é banquet ‰ƒ‰ď

All: Yes! Word up!

Word up ‚ť‚Ě’Ę‚č

Ted: Yeah, put me down for two.

put-down for `‚Ö‚ĚŒ™‚Ş‚ç‚š put me down for two ‰´‚Í2–{“q‚Ż‚悤 put me down =Another way of sayin "sex me"

Robin: Really? It's three months away.

Ted: I know, but... guys, I'm sorry, I'm going to say it. I have a feeling Victoria's going to be around for a long time.

Ted: I'm going to miss Victoria. I should just skip this thing entirely. Robin's still pissed at me after... you know.

entirely ‘S‚­AŠŽ‘S‚É pissed at ‚É‚Ţ‚Š‚‚­

Barney: You lied and said you were broken up with Victoria before you actually were so you could try to nail Robin and you wound up losing both girls in one night?

wound up I‚Ś‚é

Ted: Yes, that's what I meant by "you know." I haven't seen her in three weeks. She won't return my calls. Look, I shouldn't go.

Marshall: You should definitely go. Look, it's a chance to show her you're still friends and that you support her.

Barney: Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better, triple threat-- hotter and bigger boobs.

show up with ‚đˆř‚Ť˜A‚ę‚ÄŒť‚ę‚é

Ted: That's only two.

Barney: Count again.

Ted: Barney, I'm not bringing a date. Even if I wanted to, the thing's in two hours.

Barney: So get an escort.

Ted: By "escort," you mean prostitute?

prostitute ”„t‚đ‚ˇ‚é

Barney: Why not?

Ted: Because... gross?

Barney: Oh, gross. What, you have some puritanical hang-up about prostitution? Dude, it's the world's oldest profession.

puritanical ŒľŠi‚ȁA‹Ö—~“I‚Č the world's oldest profession ”„t

Marshall: You really think that's true?

Barney: Oh, yeah. I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.

Cro-Magnon ƒNƒƒ}ƒjƒ‡ƒ“l

Marshall: Aha, so then the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You've been lawyered.

Barney: Come on, Ted, let's get you a hooker. It'll be fun.

Ted: Okay, to bring to the banquet and hang out with ironically or to actually have sex with?

ironically ”ç“÷‚Č‚ą‚Ć‚É

Barney: Yes.

Ted: No! It's illegal. And did I mention gross?

mention `‚ÉŒž‹y‚ˇ‚é

Barney: That's adorable. Ted, you're such a hayseed. The companionship business is the growth industry of the 21st century. You do realize that one out of every eight adult women in America is a prostitute.

hayseed ƒAƒƒŠƒJ‚Ě˜J“­ŽŇŠK‹‰‚Ě”_‘ş•”ˆő‚ɑ΂ˇ‚éŒy•Ě“I‚ČŒž—t companionship ŒđŰ

Marshall: You just made that up.

Barney: Withdrawn.

Withdrawn “P‘Ţ‚ľ‚˝

Marshall: Lawyered. The point is, how long has it been?

Lawyered =To pwn someone with evidence

Ted: 57 days.

Barney: Is that your water? May I?

Ted: Yeah, go ahead.

Barney: Much obliged. 57 days?! Ted, you are in a slump.

obliged Š´ŽÓ‚ˇ‚é

Ted: No, it's not a slump. It's an intentional hiatus from girls. A slump is when you strike out every time you step up to the plate. But I'm off the roster, baby. I'm in the locker room sitting in the whirlpool. And I'll tell you something, it feels pretty good.

hiatus ’†’fA‹xŽ~ whirlpool ‚¨•Ľ‚˘” ‚É‚ˇ‚é

Barney: Yeah, you know what else is in that locker room? A naked dudes hanging brain. Ted, you need a lady. And I've got the next best thing-- Mary. She lives in my building. She's smart, she's hot, she's totally cool.

Ted: Oh, she sounds great. And who knows? Maybe we'll wind up getting married someday. You know, if we can get a blessing from her pimp.

wind up Œ‹‹Ç`‚É‚Č‚é blessing Šě‚ԂׂŤ‚ą‚Ć pimp ”„t‚ ‚Á‚š‚ń‹ĆŽŇ

Barney: You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic? That's racism. And I do not drink with racists. Good day.

solely ‚ŕ‚Á‚Ď‚çA‚˝‚žˆęl‚Ĺ characteristic “Á’ĽA“ÁŤ racism lŽíˇ•Ę

Ted: You're just waiting for me to speak, so you can...

Barney: I said good day!

Robin: So should I wear my hair up or down? Lily.

Lily: What?

Robin: You okay?

Lily: Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm just exhausted from work. The stupid school board took away nap time in all kindergarten classes and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day. It's much harder to deal with because, well, I don't get my nap.

nap time ’‹Q‚ĚŽžŠÔ

Robin: Wait, you were taking naps when the kids were? Is that safe?

Lily: Well, they're only five. What are they gonna do to me?

Robin: Ted's still coming to this thing, right?

Lily: Yep.

Robin: Do you think, um... hypothetically... it would be weird if I bring a date?

Lily: Look at you, Scherbotsky, blatantly trying to make Ted jealous.

blatantly ˜Iœ‚É

Robin: No, it's just this guy at the station. I never get involved with co-workers, but he asked me and I said yes. Is it going to be weird?

get involved with `‚Ɛ[‚˘’‡‚É‚Č‚é

Lily: No, it's not going to be weird at all. Robin's bringing a date.

Marshall: Boy. That's going to be really weird.

Lily: I know.

Marshall: Robin's bringing a date.

Ted: Oh. Okay. That's not weird. She's bringing a date. I'm glad she's moving on.

Marshall: Dude, it's going to be weird.

Ted: No, it's fine. Look, in spite of whatever happened between us, Robin and I are still friends. I don't think it'll be weird.

in spite of `‚É‚ŕ‚Š‚Š‚í‚炸

Barney: Yeah, it won't be weird.

Ted: Thank you.

Barney: Because you're going to bring your own date.

Woman: Hello, Barney.

Barney: Hi, Mary. Have you met Ted?

Mary: Nice to meet you Ted.

Ted: Hi, Mary. Wow. It's, uh, nice to meet you, too.

Mary: So we're going to an award show?

Ted: Uh, yeah, will you just excuse us for one minute? Barney.

Barney: See you in two shakes, Mare. You two make yourselves comfortable.

in two shakes ‚ˇ‚Ž‚ɁA‚ˇ‚Ž‚ł‚܁Aˆęu‚É‚ľ‚Ä

Ted: What the hell?

Barney: Dude, your narrow-minded views on professional fornicators were harshing my mellow. So I got you a date for the evening.

fornicator –§’Ę‚ˇ‚élAŠ­ˆú‚đ”Ć‚ľ‚˝ŽŇ harsh Œľ‚ľ‚˘AŽčŒľ‚ľ‚˘

Ted: You got me a hooker. A really hot hook-- A hooker!

Barney: Think about it, this is perfect. A: it will make Robin insanely jealous... B: you get to have sex with her... and C: maybe by getting to know Mary, you'll come to see that courtesans are people, too. And D: "B" all night long.

insanely ł‹C‚Ć‚ÍŽv‚Ś‚Č‚˘‚Ů‚Ç courtesan ‚‹‰”„t•w

Ted: I'm not taking a prostitute to Robin's banquet.

Barney: The only people who will know are you, me and Marshall. No one will suspect a thing. They'll just see you with this unbelievably smoking hot girl and... Okay, that's a little bit suspicious. Look, I'm just trying to expand your horizons a little bit tonight. But if you're not interested, fine, I'm out 500 bucks. Whatever.

I'm out 500 bucks =I lost / I lose $500

Ted: 500 bucks?

Barney: Ted, you're my cabron. You think I'm gonna stick you with some toothless tranny from the Port Authority? Look at how hot she is. Robin would be so jealous.

cabron ƒXƒyƒCƒ“Œę ƒNƒ\–ě˜Y tranny Ť“]ŠˇŽŇ

Ted: I'm not trying to make Robin jealous, Barney. Look, I... tell Mary, thanks, but no thanks. I have a soul.

ƒpƒ‰ƒŠ[ƒKƒ‹

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