ガーディアン
海外ドラマで英語リスニング学習中
Kids, once your Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily found a nanny for baby Marvin, they were excited for their first day out together in five months.And so were we.
Mama.Dada.
Hi, gang.
Ooh.
Ah, so, now that there's no screaming baby to distract us, what have you guys been up to lately?
This was a surprisingly loaded question.You see, right after Marvin was born, Lily and Marshall had issued a decree.
loaded question 誘導尋問 decree 命令
New rule, you can't come to us with any issue unless it's an eight or higher.
And we were doing our best to abide.
abide 遵守する
Ted, how are things going with Victoria?
My dad made the funniest joke.He said that since you're the reason I left the wedding, you owe him the $70,000 he paid for it, or else.You know, he's not usually funny like that.
Not promising, but not an eight.Everything's great.
And Robin, how's everything with Nick?
Finally ready for a ride on the bike?
Who? Me? Let's ride, Big Daddy.Oh, yeah.Mama likey.
Robin, over here.Ooh.Eco-friendly.She runs on corn.
Totally lady bone killer, but not an eight.Everything's great.
And how are things for the old Barnacle?
Not an eight.At best, she was a six, six and a half.More like a four by the time I was done with her.Mental self-five.Everything's great.
To long-awaited MacLaren's return of Marshall and Lily.
Mmm.
I've missed this.Okay.We got to go.
W-what? You just got here.
I cleared my whole night for you guys.I didn't even bring my booty-call phone.
Oh, I'm sorry, but we just really need some time to ourselves.I promise we'll hang out soon.
See you guys.Bye.
Booty, booty, booty, booty rocking everywhere Booty, booty, booty, booty rocking everywhere Booty, booty, booty, booty Yeah, like I'm going to leave this at home.Barney Stinson.How may I direct my penis?
It is so nice to be out in the fresh air.You smell that?
Ooh.
That's the smell of urine that isn't Marvin's.
Oh, God, I miss that smell.You know, I thought we'd spend the whole time worrying about Marvin, but it's actually nice to be out in the world, living life.
Yeah.
Death is all around us.
Wow, that urine smell just got a lot stronger.
So, you guys spent your first night out in five months, sitting at home planning for your own deaths?
Yeah, we found this Web site that helps you make a will.
In the event of your death
In the event of 〜の場合には
Ooh! I'm sorry.It-it's just-just real sad to think about.
Oh, I know.All right.In the event of your death Okay, no, you know what? Let's just start with something easy.Okay.Okay? Please enter your zip code.
We'll never get mail again.
I keep reassuring Lily that this is all hypothetical.Relatively speaking, New York City is very safe.
reassuring 安心させる
Please, faulty elevators, exploding manhole covers, jealous husbands.This place is a coroner's paradise.
faulty 欠陥のある coroner 検視官
Ooh! My God.
They are way more likely to eat it in a mugging gone wrong.There was a double hommy on your block like a week ago.Caught it on the scanner during lunch.Knife job.Guy made a real mess of it too.
Anyway, then we got to the section about picking a guardian.
Sometimes couples choose one of their parents as a guardian.That makes it simple.My mom.
Your mom?
What's wrong with my mom?
Are you
Fine.All right.Marvin won't go to my loving mother.But he's got to go to somebody.
Fine.What about my mom?
Your mom?
Um, excuse
Fine.Not my mom.What about my dad?
Your dad?
Okay, yeah, he's out.
Wait a minute.You know who could be good? My brother Marcus.He's like a great dad.Do you remember his Christmas card?
Questionable denim choices aside, Marcus is a good dad.I guess if Marvin has to go to anyone, it should be family.
Okay, great.Okay.
Marcus, hey, how's it going?
Pretty freaking sweet, buttwipe.I packed up all my crap; I said, See ya to Sarah and the kids; and I finally got my dream job as a mixologist down here at Carnalism 2.Hold on.Some punk's trying to use his snorkel rental as a bong.Hey! You be packin' that bowl too tight, mon.
So, now we don't have a guardian.
You know, as your best friend, if called upon, I'd be honored to raise Marvin.
call on 要求する
If you want him to be raised by his underwear on a flagpole, Ted's your guy.If you want him pulling the chord on some other nerd's panties, I'm your guy.
chord 弦
I'll teach that kid how to be awesome in ways you and Lily never could.It's going to be legend wait for it, no, I won't wait for it and neither should little baby Marvin, so maybe it's better if you two just die right now dary.
And so began the longest week of Lily and Marshall's lives.
Huh? Huh?
Bro McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-bro And on that farm he had some chicks E-I-E-I-bro With a hot chick here and a dumb chick there
Huh? Huh?
Bro, bro, bro your broat Gently to the bar Hit on sluts, then do ten shots and
Huh? Huh? Aah!
The boobs on the bus go up and down Up and down, up and down The boobs on the bus go up and down All through the town.