ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Jeanette and I had a little spat."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“8yŒ´‘čzWeekend at Barney's

Okay, Neruda, this play is extremely complicated.

Let me guess. Does it involve me saying my penis in a Scottish accent?

Now you're gettin' it, laddie!

Hey!

Robin.

What are you doing here?

I was curious as to whether you found Ted a date to our wedding who was a little less, you know, Antichrist-y. Is that the Playbook?

No, Robin, that is a couch. Oh, you mean the Playbook on the couch? I can explain.

Don't bother.

I can ex... Uh, Ted? Uh... I got to step away from mission control for a sec. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Robin...

Robin, wait. Um... shoot. I haven't figured out what I'm gonna say yet. Keep going. Robin, wait. Look, I'm sorry that I still have the Playbook. It's just, it's filled with a lifetime of great ideas. Am I supposed to just leave all that behind?

Yes.

But... Weekend at Barney's!

Okay, what is that? Explain the Weekend at Barney's to me.

What's to explain? I play a dead guy, and Ted and Marshall carry me around.

Okay. And based on that, girls want to sleep with you.

Big time.

But you're dead.

Yeah. Except not really, obviously.

But the girl thinks you're dead.

No, she thinks I'm alive.

Which you are.

Exactly.

Except you're dead.

Exactly.

Except you're alive.

Exactly.

Okay, so instead of... of being an alive person pretending to be a dead person pretending to be an alive person, why not just be an alive person?

Okay, let's start from the beginning. The movie is called Weekend at Bernie's. My name is Barney.

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I don't know if you heard, but I dropped some Skittles. Do you know what, I'm just gonna go home before I make things worse.

You're not going anywhere. We're a team. You stuck by me after my nip slip at your law school graduation. And after my nip slip at the GNB Christmas party. And after my nip slip at the Honeywell and Coots Family Fun Day.

I don't know why you keep wearing that top. All right, I'll stay put, but I'm keeping my mouth shut. No more jokes, no more candy, no more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Hey, are you guys talking Ninja Turtles? I'm a huge TMNT fan. I grew up on those comic books.

Me, too! I was obsessed.

Did you know that the original comic debuted in 1984 at a convention in New Hampshire?

Uh, yes. Did you know that Eastman and Laird always had their doubts about their characters being commercialized?

Yes! Did you know that the painting on the back wall is inspired by Master Splinter?

Oh, the one of the rat doing karate. I see it now.

Hey, I'm Strickland.

Hey. Marshall. And this is my wife, Lily, who, as a matter of fact, happens to represent one of the biggest art collectors in New York City.

I love your work. It's great to see you getting some recognition.

recognjtion ”FŽŻ

Thank you. It's been a long haul. The first painting I ever sold, I used the money to get my car fixed. You might say... I used it to make my van go.

haul ‹——Ł

That's...

Um, a little something called rigor mortis?

rigor mortis Ž€Œăd’ź

Oh, come on.

Are you really this mad about a book?

You really think that this is just about a book, Barney? You lied to me. If we're gonna be in a marriage and trust each other, you can't lie to me ever.

Really? Well, that's just great. Because, in case you haven't noticed these last eight years, lying is what I do best. I'm a magician, Robin. Misdirection and deceit are my stock in trade. You don't want me to lie to you? Lies are the reason that we're together. Everything single thing I did to get you to say yes to me on that rooftop-- Patrice, the false engagement, everything-- it was all utter malarkey. But... underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and... and that's the fact that I love you. And you know that when I say that... I am not lying.

deceit ƒyƒeƒ“ stock in trade í—pŽč’i utter ‚Ü‚Á‚˝‚­‚Ě malarkey ‚Ů‚ç˜b

Wha... Did you just unhook my bra again?

Jeanette, this is great. We're back together. You're coming to Barney and Robin's wedding. I found two wine glasses you didn't smash. Call me crazy, but I've got a feeling, from here on out, it's gonna be nothing but blue skies and...

What... the hell... is this?!

Uh-oh. Check out this text from Ted.

Oh, my... What the hell happened here?

Jeanette and I had a little spat. Would anyone like some wine? It's a nice Cotes du Rhone. Still needs to breathe a bit. You know what? I got a decanter upstairs, so... We should just drink it now.

spat ą×‚ČƒPƒ“ƒJ

And for the grand finale, I found your fireworks. Let's see what they do to your precious Playbook!

No! Jeanette, please, that's Barney's life's work!

It's fine, Ted.

Blow it up, Jeanette.

Okay. No more dating. I'm ready to settle down.

And, kids... for the first time in my life, I really meant it.

Oh!

Oh...

The boots...

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