ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"You're banned for life"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“4yŒ´‘čzMurtaugh

You will not believe what happened at laser tag last night.

People freaked out because a creepy man in a suit wouldn't leave their kids alone?

No.Well, yeah, pretty much.

Come on!

Ow! My shoulder!

Come on.

Stinson, my office! Now!

Crap.

Disorderly game play, three counts of shoving, and now this! Stinson, you're a liability!

Disorderly •—‹I‚𗐂ˇ shoving match Ź‹Ł‚č‡‚˘ liability áŠQ

I know I don't play by your precious rules, McCracken, but, damn it, I get results!

precious ‹Ă‚č‰ß‚Ź‚˝

Look, you're a good laser tag player.Maybe the best I've ever seen.But one of these days,you're gonna get someone hurt.Maybe even yourself.

You just forgot what it's like out there.You've had your fat ass stuck behind that desk for too long.

That's it! You're out of here, Stinson! Hand in your gun and your ID badge!

With pleasure.Please don't do this.This game is all I got.And I've almost got enough tickets for the remote control helicopter.Please.

I can't believe I'm doing this.But I'm gonna give you one last shot.But so help me, if you so much as step one toe out of line, you're gonna be playing Duck Hunt in your mama's basement so fast it's gonna make your head spin Now, get out of here!

You won't regret this.

That's it, Stinson.You're banned for life!

banned for life ‰i‹v’Ç•ú‚ł‚ę‚é

No!

I can't believe you got kicked out of laser tag.What are you gonna do?

What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I'll tell you what Ted and I are gonna do.We're gonna break in after hours and TP the place.

Barney, we are too old to cover a place in toilet paper just because they won't let you play laser tag.And for that matter, too old for laser tag.

Ted, laser tag knows no age restrictions.Kind of like stripping in the Midwest.

Yeah, whatever.I'm adding laser tag to the Murtaugh List.

Oh, jeez, not the Murtaugh List.

What's the Murtaugh List?

The Murtaugh List is something that came into being around the time I turned 30.It all started with your Uncle Marshall's beer bong.Every time we had a party,that beer bong came out.And around the time we turned 30, same thieng. Of course, in our early 20s, the next day would go like this.But by the time we were 30, the next day would go like this.Then one day, in the throes of the worst hangover of my life, I realized there was only one person in the world that I could relate to: Detective Roger Murtaugh,played by Danny Glover in the '80s noir masterpiece Lethal Weapon, known for his often-quoted catchphrase: I'm too old for this Stuff.He said, I'm too old for this stuff.

throe ‹ę‚ľ‚Ý hangover “ń“úŒ‚˘

It's sad to admit, but as you get older, there's just certain things you can't do anymore.That's why I have this list, so I never make the mistake of thinking that I can still pull an all-nighter.

I'm too old for that stuff.

Or eat an entire pizza in one sitting.

I'm too old for that stuff.

Or hang posters on your wall without frames.

Riggs.Riggs! I'm too old for that stuff.By the way, how good is Lethal Weapon?

Oh, I don't know.It's kind of a rip-off.Old guy paired up with a young, renegade cop.Sound familiar? Mackleroy and LeFleur.Don't tell me you guys have never seen Mackleroy and LeFleur.It's the greatest Canadian action movie of all time.Mackleroy is a young, renegade Mountie whose horse was just killed by evil Americans, while LeFleur, his grouchy,old, African-Canadian partner, just bought a cozy ice fishing shack in northern Alberta

rip-off “‚Ý pair up with ‹¤‰‰‚ˇ‚é renegade –ł–@ŽŇ

All right, I got to go.

Bye, baby.Have fun at practice.

Practice? Is he doing that one-man band thing again? 'Cause that was a bummer.

bummer ‘Ó‚ŻŽŇ

Actually, Marshall had just taken over as coach for Lily's kindergarten basketball team.He thought it'd be fun, but Lily saw it as something more-dad practice.

take over as `‚Ě”C‚ɏA‚­

Hi.

Hey! Oh, my gosh! Orange slices.That is so sweet.What are you doing here?

I couldn't resist.I wanted to see Coach Marshmallow do his thing.

resist ‰ä–‚ˇ‚é

Oh.Okay.Hey, kids, who wants to knock off early and have some of these here orange slices? Yeah? Well, you can't! Because oranges are for winners, and you little turds haven't even made a single shot yet! You're embarrassing yourselves, you're embarrassing Ms.Aldrin, and worst of all, you're embarrassing me! That's it! Suicides! Baseline! Now! Run.

knock off early ‘‚߂ɐ؂čă‚°‚é

Ted, there is not a single thing on here that you are too old to do.In fact, if you did everything on the Murtaugh List, I'd call that a pretty fun weekend.

Barney you are not 18 anymore. If you did everything on that list, you would die.That wasn't a challenge.

Challenge accepted.I'm going to do every single thing on this list.And after I do, you will TP the laser tag place with me.

And if you can't do it?

I will spend three hours listening to you talk about architecture.

You have got yourself a deal.Robin, will you do the honors?

A gentleman's agreement!

Huzzah!

All right, chumps, let's do this.Barney Stinson!

You really want to make this bet with him? You know how he is.

Robin, there is some pretty tough stuff on that list.I mean, do you really think Barney's gonna get his ear pierced?

Get ear pierced. Check.All right, I'm off to go do laundry at Mom's house.

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