ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I've never done this before"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“1yŒ´‘čzMary the Paralegal

Vampire Lou: Scooter "Bam-Bam" Branson for A Bicycle-- Joyride or Deathtrap? Mike Murphy for 13, Pregnant and Addicted. And Robin Scherbotsky for Pickles, the Singing Dog. And the winner is... Robin Scherbotsky.

Joyride —–\‚ɏć‚č‰ń‚ˇ Deathtrap Ž€‚Ě‚í‚Č Addicted ’†“Ĺ

Robin: Thanks. Oh, wow. This is really a surprise. Um, you know it's nice to be able to share this award with my friends. They're all here tonight. Marshall, Lily, Sandy Rivers... Barney... And that's it. Those are all my friends. Thank you.

Marshall: Congratulations.

Robin: Oh, thanks. Um, Sandy, do you want to get a cab?

Sandy: Sure. Let's go.

Ted: Yeah, this party's dead. Mary, you want to go upstairs? We, uh, got a room.

Marshall: Dude, what are you doing?

Ted: What's it look like?

Marshall: It looks bad, is what it looks like. You cannot do this.

Ted: Marshall, she is a really cool girl when you get to know her. Besides, I'm trying to make Robin jealous.

Marshall: Oh, that's real mature.

mature ‘ĺl‚Á‚Ű‚˘ ŹlŒü‚Ż‚Ě

Lily: Marshall, what is up with you and Ted?

Marshall: Nothing, baby. Don't worry about it. Fine. Do what you want. Hey.

Mary: Should we go?

Ted: Yeah. Thanks. Well... Good night.

Robin: Good night.

Ted: So, did you and Barney ever...?

Mary: There's not enough money in the world.

Ted: Oh, thank God.

Marshall: Wow, so they're...? Robin, where's Sandy Rivers?

Robin: I put him in a cab.

Barney: So you and he aren't...?

Robin: I don't date people I work with. I was just trying to make Ted jealous. Is he...?

Marshall: He's off trying to make you jealous.

Robin: Oh, well, good for them. And, you know, if Ted likes her, she's probably pretty cool.

Marshall: Lily, I know you're asleep, but I have to tell someone this, and we tell each other everything. So, here it goes. Mary's not a paralegal. She's a prostitute.

Lily: Mary's a prostitute?

Robin: What?!

Marshall: Barney paid for her.

Lily: Is that true?

Marshall: We were having a conversation about prostitution, and then Barney calls her up and then she shows up at the bar and now she and Ted are upstairs.

Robin: Okay, seriously, what is going on with Ted lately? Is he having a nervous breakdown?

Lily: You know, Barney, for anyone else, this would be a new low, but sadly, for you, it's just a new middle. Oh, my God, I used her lipstick! Ah!

a new low =Your behavior is so bad it would be about the worst (lowest) an ordinary person could be. BUT for you, it's common and expectable, i.e. it's about in the mid range of your behavior.

Marshall: That's her napkin.

Lily: No!

Barney: Okay, well, I guess now is as good a time as any. In keeping with tonight's award show motif, I'd like to announce this evening's big twist ending! Vampire Lou, would you do the honors?

now is as good a time as any Ą‚Ş‚P”Ô‚˘‚˘Žž‚ž In keeping with `‚Ć’˛Žq‚đ‡‚í‚š‚Ä motif Žĺ‘čAƒ‚ƒ`[ƒt

Vampire Lou: "Mary's not really a prostitute."

Marshall: What?

Barney: That's all, Vampire Lou. Nicely done.

Marshall: So she's not...?

Barney: No. Mary's just a paralegal who lives in my building. Oh-- ha-ha! And here's the best part-- she has no idea that Ted thinks she's a hooker. Oh, come on. If you don't laugh, it just seems mean.

Ted: I feel kind of like Richard Gere.

Mary: Not shy about your looks, are you?

Ted: No. You know, Mary, I've never done this before.

I've never done this before ‚ą‚ę‚Ş‰‚ß‚Ä‚Č‚ń‚ž‚Š‚çI

Mary: Done what?

Ted: You know, been... on a "date."

Mary: Yeah, right. Wait, you're kidding, right?

Ted: No. Why, is that so odd?

Mary: Well, Ted, I mean, I've been going on dates since I was 15.

Ted: God, you were just a kid. Well, look, let's just have a few drinks. We'll relax and...

Mary: Yeah, that sounds great. I had clients riding me all day long.

ride ˘‚ç‚š‚é

Ted: Must be tough.

Must be tough ‘ĺ•Ď‚ˁB

Mary: Yeah. I mean, this one guy just wouldn't leave me alone. I mean, talk about anal. Well, here we are.

Ted: Okay, look, Mary, I like you a lot. I'm sort of amazed at how much I like you, but I can't do this. You're a hooker.

Mary: What?

Ted: Look, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I'm sorry, that's a deal-breaker for me. I'm not going to have sex with a prostitute.

deal-breaker ŒđÂ‚đ“ďq‚ł‚š‚é‚ŕ‚Ě

Mary: No... Ted, I'm a paralegal.

Ted: Come on, Mary, there's no one else around. You're a hooker.

Mary: No, Ted... I'm a paralegal.

Ted: No, you're a hooker.

Mary: No, I'm a paralegal.

Ted: You're a paralegal.

Ted: That was not funny.

Marshall: Not funny, dude.

Barney: I know, it was hilarious.

hilarious ‘ĺŠě‚т́A—z‹C‚Č

Ted: Why would you do that?

Barney: I did it to prove a point.

Ted: What point?

Barney: Stay with me. It's going to come to me. No. Ah, okay, here's the point. You thought that Mary was a sure thing, right? So what happened? She took you up to a hotel room on the first date. All you have to do is be that confident with every girl you meet and your slump is over.

Ted: So the message is, I should treat every woman like a whore?

Barney: Come on, dude, you should be thanking me.

Ted: She slapped me and stormed off.

slap ‚Đ‚Á‚Ď‚˝‚­ storm off Œƒ‚ľ‚˘¨‚˘‚Ĺ‹Ž‚é

Barney: Can you blame her? You called her a hooker.

blame ”ń“‚é

Marshall: I'm sorry, dude, it was funny.

Ted: Yeah. Well, it's getting late. I should get back to my room.

Barney: Your room?

Ted: Yeah, that really expensive hotel room you put on your credit card-- never checked out. By the way, you know what's super fun? Pouring Dom Perignon down a bathtub drain. Well, it's almost 3:00. Got a massage. Toodles.

Pouring “yť~‚č Dom ƒhƒ“AŽt Perignon ƒyƒŠƒjƒ‡ƒ“ drain —Ź‚ęo‚é Toodles ƒoƒCƒoƒCA‚Ü‚˝Œă‚Ĺ

Marshall: Come on, if you don't laugh, it just seems mean.

ƒpƒ‰ƒŠ[ƒKƒ‹

ride‚ĚˆÓ–Ą

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