Kids, we all have different ways of dealing with nerves.
way of dealing with 対処する方法
It'll just be a few more minutes, Mr.Stinson.
Some people chew their nails.Some people tap their feet.And some people imagine they're being interviewed by renowned sportscaster, Jim Nantz.
Hello, friends.Every sport has had an icon who transcends the game.Boxing had Ali, basketball had Jordan, and the sport of sleeping with random hotties has my next guest, Mr.Barney Stinson.Barney, welcome.
Thanks, Jim.Great to be back on the show.
Good to have you with us.And, you know, the stats, they really speak for themselves.Over 200 women, spanning six continents, and not a single fatty.It's impressive.And with all these accomplishments though, there's one laurel that's always eluded you, which brings us to last week.What was the story there?
accomplishment 才能 laurel 栄誉を与える elude 〜逃れる
Buckle up, Jimbo.This one's a doozy.
Buckle up シートベルトを締める doozy 最高のもの
It all started when I decided to set myself a little challenge.
Oh, my God.
Whoa! He's calling his shot.
call one's shots 自分の狙いをはっきり言う
Whatever girl I'm pointing to right now, that's who I'm going home with tonight.And, play ball!
Hey.How'd the date with Dale go?
You know, sometimes that guy, with the horn-rimmed glasses and a Smurfs T-shirt, is just being ironic.Sometimes he is a dork with a lazy eye and a love-hate relationship with Gargamel.
Robin, just because a guy talks a lot about a fictional character on a first date, doesn't mean he's not husband material.
Sasquatch isn't fictional.
That was quick.
So, night one was pretty routine.
Jim, there's nothing routine about the way I get down.
Respect.Take us to night two.
See that hotty over there nursing a Black Russian? She's about to chase that with a white American.Up top! You know, if you're not careful, you're gonna lose me.
Hey, guys, what should I say when Dale calls for a second date?
How do you know he's gonna call?
You're cute, Marshall, but I think Mama knows when a dude's digging the show.I mean, he couldn't keep his good eye off of me.
Well, let him down easy.People are fragile.Sometimes without even meaning to, you might rip someone's beating heart out and stomp on it in a roomful of 26 people and a teacher's assistant.
let someone down easy 気を使いながら教える
How did school go today, Ted?
Something bad happened.It was the first class of the new semester.
Jamie Adamic? Hi.Brian Glowatz, Glowatz? Hi.Well done.Adding a fake name to the sign-up sheet.That's real original, guys.You know, I'd expect inspired minds such as yours to be a little more mature and, frankly, more creative.I mean, seriously, what kind of a fake name is Cook Pu?
Come on, guys.
It's gotta at least sound real.Cook Pu?
Whatever happened to classics, right.You know, Seymour Butts? Hugh Gerection? Those were fake names.But Cook Pu?
She's back here, bro.
All right, come on.Let me have it.Bring on all the Cook Pu jokes.
Oh, we're not gonna make jokes, Ted.That girl must be really down in the dumps.
down in the dumps 落ち込んで
You really smeared the Pu name.
You guys finished?
Are you asking us if all the Pu is out of our system?
Wow, back-to-back nights.Barney is on fire.
That girl's lucky.Barney was the best sex I ever had.
And he's the best friend I've ever had.
He's everything I want Marshall to be.
He's everything I wish I could be.
I'm just assuming that's what they say when I'm not around.
I buy it.You're awesome.Now, night three.Paint us a word picture.
Jim, I could tell I was on a roll, so I decided to mix things up a little bit.
on a roll 勢いに乗って
I think I'm gonna go small boobs tonight.
Lily, they're people, too.
Here's your burgers.
What, you're not sharing? You two always share a burger.
No, we don't.
We're not, like, weirdoes who share everything.
Yeah, you are.
That's exactly what you are.
We're perfectly normal!
Guys, what's going on?
You know how Lily and I have been looking for new couple friends ever since we lost Robin and Barney, and Ted and Stella, and Ted and Robin, and Ted and Victoria? Geez, Ted, when are you gonna get your life together?
How'd we end up here?
We went on a great double date last night.We were cool.We were casual.We didn't spaz out.
spaz out キレる
And then one tiny little detail came out and the whole night was ruined.
And Joanna's toothbrush flips off the side of the sink, hits the ceiling and falls right into the toilet.
hit the ceiling 激怒する
Come on.That's crazy.Last week, the same thing happened to our toothbrush.
Like, one toothbrush?
That you both use?
Is that weird?
Marshall, four out of five dentists just threw up in their mouths.
Hey, check it out.Barney's leaving with another girl.
Wow, three girls in three nights? That's gross even for Barney.
Gross? Are you kidding?
He's on his way to a Perfect
Oh! Don't say it! You'll jinx it.
I was on my way toward a Perfect Week!
The Perfect Week.Seven nights, seven girls, zero rejections.
Incredible.I mean, it's really like the sexual equivalent of baseball's perfect game.But even rarer.
Yeah.The only player in history to have ever achieved both was Mustache Pete Drexel, back in 1896.
Now this wasn't the first time you'd come close to a Perfect Week.You learn the hard way, though.One mistake, and it's all over.
Sometimes, a teammate makes an error.
Sometimes, one wild pitch
You, me, the canned-food aisle in the bodega next door.
leads to a walk.And sometimes, you just lose focus, and it almost always leads to a hit.
But this week, you were three-for-three, with no sign of slowing down.
I could do no wrong.Wish I could say the same for my friends.
Cook didn't show up for class today.
I'm sorry, Cook?
Yeah, Ted, we know, like, a ton of people named Cook.
Uh-oh.Here we go.The dreaded Dale call.Oh! It's my mom.She's going through some pretty major league health stuff.God, why won't that guy call?
Wait a minute, you want him to call?
No.Shut up.Don't you guys have, like, a toothbrush to share, or something?
Yeah.When did you guys even start doing that anyway?
Like, years ago.You should know.We lived with you.
Yeah, but you always kept your toothbrush in the bedroom.Also weird, by the way.
No, we kept it in the bathroom.
No.There was only one toothbrush in the bathroom, and it was mine.
Wait.Are you saying that for eight years, all three of you shared one toothbrush?
Oh, my God.
I love this so much!