ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Beg your pardon."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“9yŒ´‘čzSlapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra

Oh, sorry, kids. I forgot to mention there's a bit of a backstory to this particular slap.

Oh, man. Oh. At least it landed on the mustard stain.

Don't bother. That suit is a stain. A stain on the very institution of suits. You know what tie goes with that suit? The tie at the top of a Hefty bag. A suit like that only needs one button... self-destruct.

self-destruct ŽŠ–Ĺ‚ˇ‚é

Hey, I bought him that suit.

Where? Barfs Brothers? Men's Outhouse? Giorgio Arms... Are-Not-the-Same-Lengthy? That suit is a slap in the face to all suits everywhere.

A slap in the face. Uh, yes, Barney. There's something I need to tell you about the next slap that you're going to receive. You see, I want this slap to be as painful as humanly possible.

Sure. Sure.

Okay, okay. Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. Yes, you won a slap bet with me seven years ago. And, yes, over the years, you got in some great slaps.

Some great slaps.

But here's the problem. You've tormented me so much that I am now immune to it. It's as if my face, my psyche, my soul were covered in that numbing cream we all put on our deals so that we can go all night. Am I right, fellas? Okay, we'll all just pretend like we've never done that. Just like we've never sat on our left hand until it fell asleep and then used it for an away gamer. Okay. We'll all pretend like we've never done that. Just like we've all never taken two live jumper cables...

torment ‚Đ‚Ç‚­‹ę‚ľ‚ß‚é immune –Əœ‚ł‚ę‚˝ as if ‚ ‚˝‚Š‚ŕ numbing –ƒáƒ‚ł‚š‚é

Please stop.

Barney, I'm well-aware that you've developed a resistance to all of my old tricks, which is why I sought out special training.

resistance ”˝R seek out ’T‚ľo‚ˇ

Hi, hey, I'm sure you get this question all the time. But is there a special class where I just learn slapping?

We teach kung fu here.

Right, see, the thing is, I don't need to learn anything about kicking. You know? 'Cause, uh... So, yeah. I'm good there. Um, what I really need to learn is slapping. I need someone to teach me how to slap my friend just like really hard right in his stupid face. Can you teach me that?

Kung fu is an ancient and honorable martial art. It must be learned with great devotion and respect.

honorable ‚Œ‰‚Č devotion î”M

So, where are we on this whole slapping thing? Yes, no, maybe...?

Get out.

Psst. I know what you seek. You seek to learn the Slap of a Thousand Exploding Suns.

Yes, that's totally a thing I've heard of. Can you teach me?

No, but I know who can.

Can you take me to this great master? I have much gold.

It is not one great master you seek but three. They will teach you the three mighty virtues of slapistry. Speed. Strength. And accuracy. Put these three virtues together, and only then will you have mastered the Slap of a Million Exploding Suns.

mighty ‹­—Í‚Č virtue Œř—Í accuracy ¸“x

I'm sorry to interrupt, but a second ago, wasn't it the Slap of a Thousand Exploding Suns?

Pretty sure I said a million, guys?

I heard a million.

He said a million.

One million.

So I went to Shanghai...

You didn't go to Shanghai.

I went to Shanghai.

When did you go to Shanghai?

Last year I went to Shanghai.

You didn't go to Shanghai.

He went to Shanghai.

He didn't go to Shanghai.

Totally went to Shanghai.

You didn't go to Shanghai.

So I went to Shanghai. In search of the first master.

Are you Red Bird?

Okay, enough. I know you're trying to freak me out. But like I said, it's not working. So I will give you much gold to stop wasting my time.

Hold that thought, I just want to see if can fix this.

The Slap of... Ten Million Exploding Suns!

Whoops. Relax, I'm not gonna slap you right now. When I slap you, it shall be beneath a willow tree next to four women and a tiger.

beneath ‰ş‚É willow –ö

A willow tree, four women and a tiger? What are you talking about?

Who said anything about a willow tree, four women and a tiger? Guys?

Nobody.

A tiger?

You were totally silent just now.

But Marshall just said that! What is going on? How did you do that to the jukebox? Wait, it's fake. That's a prop jukebox, designed just to mess with me.

prop Ź“š‹ď

Marshall, that jukebox cost eight grand.

I have much gold.

Huh, that is much. You got lucky, Eriksen.

I don't like this!

I thought that nothing I said or did could intimidate you anymore.

That's right. It can't.

Itch. Look. If you're really nervous, don't think of it as a slap. Think of it as a high five. Okay. For your stupid face. So, anyway, I'm in the noodle house...

I'll admit. I didn't expect Red Bird, Master of Speed, to be a girl. You sure you really know how to...?

What is the sound of one hand slapping?

I'm sorry, I don't understa...Wait, how did you...?Lucky shot, I wasn't ready... You know, that tip isn't a full 20%... Train me, Red Bird. Teach me speed.

No. I retired long ago.

Retired? You're like, 32.

I am 86 years old. But slapping is now a part of my past.

Darn, I really wanted to slap Barney Stinson.

Darn damn‚ć‚č‚ŕ‰¸‚â‚Š

This is to slap Barney Stinson? Yeah, okay. I'll totally teach you.

And so began my training.

Slap this tree.

Slap the tree?

If you can.

I mean... Seems pretty easy. Ooh! What the...?Ooh! The fabled Slapping Tree of Gongqing Forest.

fabled “`ŕ“I‚Č

Beg your pardon. The Fabled Slapping Tree of Gongqing Forest?

Sure.

Really? Fabled. 'Cause I've never heard of it.

I'm pretty sure everybody's heard of it. Guys?

Yup.

Totally, yeah.

I backpacked there in college.

See? Fabled. It even inspired a popular Chinese children's book.

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