Ted: This is fine. This is totally fine.
Cab driver: What's fine?
Ted: Oh, I'm, uh, going over to this girl's house to make some juice.
Cab driver: Nice.
Ted: No, it's not like that. We're juicing as friends. See, I have this girlfriend, I would never cheat on her. She lives in Germany. See, she was supposed to call me four hours ago to have a serious talk. I still haven't heard from her. I don't know. Sorry to bug you with my problems. Guess cab drivers are the new bartenders, huh?
cheat on 裏切る bug 〜を困らせる
Cab driver: You ain't kidding, kid. Want a nip?
Ted: You can just let me out right up here.
right up すぐに
Cab driver: Where you going to, buddy?
Ted: Park Slope, Eighth and Eighth. Okay, here's where I left off with the last guy. See, I have a girlfriend, but I'm going over to this other girl's house...
Victoria: And you're wondering if I'd be upset. Hi, Ted. Remember me, your girlfriend?
Ted: Okay, relax, Robin's just a friend.
Victoria: Right. You're going to go make some juice.
Ted: Yes, yes! Juice is perfectly harmless. In fact, it's healthy.
Victoria: Oh, yeah? Then why are you wondering what she looks like naked?
Ted: I am not won... Okay, even if I am wondering that, it's only 'cause you put it in my head.
Victoria: Ah, but I'm just a manifestation of your subconscious, so actually, you put it in your own head.
manifestation 明らかにすること subconscious 潜在意識
Ted: Damn it! Nothing's going to happen.
Ted: Okay, okay. You want a second opinion? Fine.
Marshall: Hey, did she call?
Ted: No. I need a ruling. Um, I'm... Yeah, this is stupid. It's not even a big deal, but I'm on my way over to Robin's right now. She got a new juicer. Whatever. We're going to test it out.
Marshall: Let me call you back. Honey, there's a situation developing. Do you remember the huge secret that you told me that you weren't supposed to but you did? The thing... about Robin?
Barney: Oh, you mean how Robin's in love with Ted?
Marshall & Lily: What?
Barney: Yeah, she told me already. Go on.
Marshall: Wait. So I'm the only one that she didn't tell? She told you and not me?
Barney: Well, I guess I'm just better friends with her than you are.
Marshall: Well, I'm better friends with Ted than you are.
Barney: That is a lie!
Marshall: It is not a lie.
Barney: Okay, that's it! You and me! I'm not afraid of you!
Marshall: I'll show you things you never seen before! I used to box in the Army!
Ted: Come on, pick up. Damn it, Victoria, where are you? Pick up, pick up!
Ted: No, thanks. Where are you? Why haven't you called?
Victoria: Oh, I'm out hooking up... with three other guys. Or maybe I'm a devoted girlfriend and I'm calling you right now.
Ted: Yeah. Why do I doubt that? Hello.
Marshall: Ted, I just saw the news and a truck carrying sulphuric acid overturned right in front of Robin's house. And it's melting through the sidewalk. You can see straight down into hell. It's bad. You should go home, dude.
sulfuric acid 硫酸
Ted: Marshall, it's fine. Nothing's going to happen.
Marshall: Ted, what does your mom always say?
Ted: Nothing good ever...
Marshall: Nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m. Go home! It's too late for juice.
Ted: Dude, Robin and I are just friends. She doesn't even like me that way.
Lily: Yes, she does! She likes you. She told me.
Lily: It's a big secret, so don't tell her I told you, but she's very vulnerable right now and you have a girlfriend. Go home, Ted.
Ted: She-she likes me?
Lily: Yes. So you see why it would be a very bad idea for you to go up there. Go home, Ted.
Ted: She likes me?
Lily: Go home, Ted.
Ted: Uh, you're right. I'll, uh, I'll see you at home.
Lily: Good. He's going home.
Marshall: He is so not going home. I cannot believe you just told him that.
Lily: What do you mean?
Barney: Lily, here's what you just said "Ted, whatever you do, don't go up there. There's a beautiful girl who wants to have sex with you. And then she's gonna make you some delicious juice."
Lily: No, he's not going up there. He has more sense than that.
have more sense than to do …するほど無分別ではない
Narator: I did have more sense than that.
Ted: Keep the change.
Cab driver: Thanks.
Narator: But after 2:00 a.m, my good sense was sound asleep.
Victoria: So you're doing this? You're going up there?
Ted: You want to get out of the way?
get out of the way 邪魔にならないようにする、好きなようにさせる
Victoria: I'm not in the way.
Ted: You know, if you had just called me, I...
Ted: Hi. Um, I got some vegetables. I got carrots, I got beets.
Robin: Or we could just drink wine.
Ted: Wine... not? Well, that's the stupidest thing I've ever said.
Ted: Make it a big glass.
Ted: So, how's it hanging?
how's it hanging このフレーズは８０年代の「what’s up?」です。これも現在はあまり使われていません。
Robin: Have you ever had one of those days where nothing at all that monumental happens but by the end of it you have no idea who you are anymore or what the hell you're doing with your life? Do you ever have one of those days?
monumental 重要な 途方もない、とんでもない
Ted: Uh, about once a week.
Robin: I don't know, it was just a, a rough day and the only person I wanted to see at the end of it was you. So... um... how was the big phone call with your girlfriend?
Narator: When the clock strikes 2:00, just go to sleep.
Ted: We broke up.
Ted: Yeah. Yeah, she finally called. We talked for a while-- how hard long distance is-- and then... she dumped me.
Robin: Oh, Ted, I'm so sorry. That's just terrible. I feel awful.
Ted: You're smiling.
Robin: Am I? No I'm not. I'm a news anchor. Smiling's a part of the job. Thousands died in a tragic avalanche today. See? You're smiling, too.
tragic 悲惨な、悲劇的な avalanche 雪崩
Ted: Yeah. I have no idea what that's all about.