Kids, the secret to dating is very simple.Be confident, be comfortable in your skin, be assured of who you are.Uncle Barney was really good at that last one, even though a lot of the time, who he was was someone else.
comfortable in one's skin ありのままの姿で余裕がある assured of 確信する
Hi.You see that guy over there in the scuba suit? You thinking of going and talking to him?
Good.He's seriously the biggest jerk on the face of the Earth.
How do you know him?
He's one of my best friends.
So, what's with the scuba suit?
Well, it's a long story.See, he just went through a breakup.
There's two basic philosophies of how to handle yourself after a breakup.Some people throw themselves into
My career.That's my number one focus right now.From now on, no more dating.It's all about work.
While others throw themselves into
Every woman in New York City.That's right, Barney Stinson is back on the market.Mothers, lock up your daughters.Daughters, lock up your Milswancas.
Wait, I can get this.Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again.
Correct.Circle gets the square.
Don't you think you're kind of rushing back into this?
Lily, since I started dating Robin, there's a certain thing I haven't used as much as I would like to.It's kind of big, surprisingly heavy, kind of leathery, and it's black.
This, my friends, is The Playbook.The Playbook contains every scam, con, hustle, hoodwink, gambit, flimflam, stratagem and bamboozle I've ever used, or ever hoped to use, to pick up chicks and give them the business.
Wow.You wrote another book?It's We got a Stephen King over here.
It's all in here.Everything from basic moves, like The Don't Drink That.
Whoa, whoa! Don't drink that! I saw some guys slip something in there.
Uh That guy.
To more advanced maneuvers, like The Mrs.Stinsfire.
Now, Kappas, after our disciplinary hearing for lewd behavior last semester, we have been assigned a new house mom.I'd like you to meet Mrs.Stinsfire.
disciplinary 規律上の lewd 下劣な
Wow! I can't picture a way that wouldn't work.
What's The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn?
I'm glad you asked.The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn will be my grand return to the stage.Or, you know, the bed.Actually, my bed is kind of on a stage.I put a platform underneath, I got some lights going.It's a real production.Barney exits!
So how about you, Robin? You getting back out there? Where's your Playbook?
My Playbook? Bro, two-volume set, right here.
It's a great read, actually.
Yeah, I'm reading it right now.
Anyway, I told you already.I'm taking a break from all that.
Mmm-hmm.Marshall, it's totally gonna happen.
It's so gonna happen.
What's gonna happen?
You're gonna fall in love.
Not likely.I'm focusing on my career.I'm done with dating.
Oh, oh! Okay, we're playing the Pyramid, okay.Things people say right before they meet the love of their life.
Oh! Kelly Harris, girl I went to law school with, said, Hey, law school's so hard.I just wanna focus on my studies. Six months later
Well, that's all well and good for Kelly.
Travis Frenchroy, backup bartender, tells me
I'm so over the whole dating game.I just wanna focus on my Star Trek fan fiction.
Six months later. Married.
May I respond?
Well, that's all well and good for them.
Matthew Blitz, accountant in my office, says
Oh, I'm gonna die single and alone.I might as well just focus on this year's taxes.
Six months later Civil union and planning to get married pending the passage of legislation currently on the floor of the New York State senate.
Protest all you want, but it's gonna happen.It's a law of nature.
Lawyered, of nature.
Believe me, I'd love to have no interest in a relationship.There's no way I'd be single right now if I wanted to be single.
Okay.Now you're ready.
Ready for what?
Three years ago, this girl, Shelly, started teaching at my school.The moment I saw her, I was like, This is the girl for Ted.
Why am I just hearing about her now?
You know, I usually hate being set up, but this Ted just sounds so great.
Oh, he is.He's so sweet and thoughtful and intelligent.
Come on, buddy! One more chicken finger and the crown is yours!
Mmm.I don't see him anywhere.He must be out doing charity work.So, different bar?
Oh, yeah.She was cute.
Yeah.Still is.And now you're ready.
Yeah, bro.Now you can fit, like, three times as many chicken fingers in your mouth.
You know it.
Okay.I will set it up.But promise me you won't do anything stupid.
I promise, I won't do anything stupid.
And I kept that promise, but only because she never showed up.
I know, I'm sorry.I feel terrible.
You should feel terrible.
I do feel terrible.
I do.I do.
I don't.Look, I was really looking forward to meeting Ted, but I got to the bar an hour early, and I met this amazing guy, like, seriously amazing.
And you met him at MacLaren's?
Yeah, right at the bar.
What's his name?
I shouldn't say.What the heck? It's Lorenzo Von Matterhorn!
You son of a bitch!
So he hooked up with Shelly? You must have been pissed.
Barney, I've had Shelly set aside for Ted for three years.
Dude, Ted was not missing out.She's brainy and annoying, kind of boring in the sack.I guess she would have been perfect for Ted.Oops.Okay, had I known that she was there to meet Ted, of course I wouldn't have done it.But given the circumstances, I think Ted will be proud of me.I pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn!