ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Guys, get it through your heads."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzLegendaddy

Ted: I hope Barney's dad isn't just pretending to be something he's not, you know?

Lily: Yeah. That would make Jerry a real chamma-leeon.

Ted: You have gaps, too, Lily.

Lily: You got nothing on me.

Marshall: Hey, Lily, can you toss me a beer?

Lily: Sure, honey.

Ted: You have terrible aim.

Lily: That's not true.

Marshall: Lily, at our apartment, you're the one who pees on the floor.

Robin: Oh, my God. Barney's dad.

Jerry: Hey, uh, you're Barney's friends, right?

Marshall: Yeah, but... aren't you supposed to be off managing some tour in Australia?

Jerry: What? No, I... I'm a driving instructor up in White Plains. And I need your help... Barney won't return my calls.

Lily: What do you mean, Barney won't return your calls? He said you two had an amazing night together.

Jerry: That's not what happened.

Barney: I'm not sure how to start this.

Jerry: Yeah.

Barney: I think I need a drink.

Jerry: Me, too.

Barney: Glen McKenna, neat.

Jerry: Milk, skim.

Barney: Milk? Oh, you're taking it easy. Crazy night?

Jerry: I'll say. Between you and me, I had a lot of acid last night.

acid –ƒ–ň@ˆÝŽ_‰ß‘˝‚Ě

Barney: Wow.

Jerry: I think it was the chili dog. I had to take four Tums. I was up till, like, 9:30.

Barney: Hey, um.. When I was a kid, you used to be a roadie. You still do that?

Jerry: No. I switched lanes years ago. I should explain. I'm a driving instructor. Now you get it, right

switch lanes ŽÔü•ĎX‚ˇ‚é

Barney: Yeah, no, I get it. Um, but when I was a kid, you... you were this total badass.

Jerry: Oh, I know. I was a real hard partier.

Barney: Yeah, okay, now we're getting to the good stuff.

Jerry: The drugs, the alcohol, the women...

Barney: Yes, yes, yes.

Jerry: I was out of control.

Barney: Out of control.

Jerry: So when your mom said I couldn't see you any more, it was rock bottom for me. I'm so sorry.

Barney: You ever bang Stevie Nicks?

Jerry: Barney wasn't interested in my apology. He just wanted me to be cool. And I was so desperate to connect with him. I did something I'm not proud of. I started bragging.

Jerry: I bet you didn't know this about me, Barney, but I've published two nonfiction books about asparagus. And one fiction. I'm credited with inventing the word "furgling." It means fumbling for keys. So then all the county fair judges started chanting, "More quiche! More quiche!" I guess you could call me the LeBron James of drapes. [END OF FLASHBACK]

Jerry: I could tell he just wanted me to be this big ladies' man, so...

Jerry: What a hottie, huh?

Barney: I'm sure you're a real player.

Jerry: Big-time.Observe.

Jerry: Excuse me, that's my son over there. I'm trying to reconnect with him after 30 years. Would you just write down any seven numbers here, so that I can impress him? Please, I'm desperate.

Barney: Oh, my God, you're a natural. Think of the pickup plays we can run as a father-son duo. There's the "Father Knows Breast," there's the "Bush Dynasty," the "Lick Father, Lick Son."

Jerry: Oh, no, no. I couldn't do that.

Barney: Why?

Jerry: I have a family now. That's my wife Cheryl, my daughter Carly... she's in college. This is my son J.J. I was hoping you could come over to dinner sometime and meet them.

Barney: You're all wearing matching sweaters. That's cute. Look, I got to get going, Jerry. But, uh, this was great. Glad we did this.

Jerry: I made him wait all these years for me and... I'm just not the guy he wanted me to be. I know I don't deserve it, but... I need another chance to connect with my son.

Lily: We think you should give him another chance. That's the real reason we're out here. He lives ten minutes away.

Barney: What?

Marshall: You're having dinner with him tonight.

Barney: No, I most certainly am not. Look, I met him. He's not my kind of bro and that's that.

Robin: Are you sure it's not more than that?

Barney: Guys, get it through your heads. I am never gonna talk to my dad again.

get it through someone's head —‰đ‚ł‚š‚é

Marshall: No, Barney. I'm never gonna talk to my dad again. But your dad is alive and he lives just down the road.

Barney: Fine, I'll go.

Marshall: Awesome. Um, Lily, keys. I'm literally 11 inches from you.

Narator: And so Barney agreed to give his dad one more chance.

Cherryl: Hello. You must be Barney. I'm Cheryl. It's just so nice to finally meet you. I love that suit.

Barney: Oh, thank you very much. And I love your...coat. I love your coat.

Cherryl: Oh, that's your coat, Barney. I just took it from you.

Barney: Well, I do love it. It's doing a nice job covering up that chair.

Lily: Guess now we wait.

Marshall: Hey, I got an idea how to pass the time. A little trivia game. Robin,reindeer real or fake?

Robin: Okay, I'm not an idiot. Reindeer are obviously f... re... fake?

Marshall: Yikes! I'm surrounded by a bunch of dum-dums. Good thing I don't have any gaps in my knowledge. I am perfect. Oh, for the love of God, guys, enough already.

Lily: What, baby?

Marshall: You've been treating me with kid gloves ever since my dad died.

with kid gloves —D‚ľ‚­

Robin: That's not true.

Lily: Robin, don't disagree with Marshall.

Robin: I'm sorry.

Marshall: I first noticed it at the bar.

Marshall: Hey, Lily, Can you get me a mojito? Normally, you would've given me crap for an hour about a voice crack that pubescently girl-like, but nothing. So then I started to test you guys.

Marshall: The Phantom Menace is by far the best Star Wars movie.

pubescently ŽvtŠú‚É by far the best ‚¸‚΂ʂŻ‚Ä

Barney: It ages well, that's the thing.

Marshall: You guys like my new soul patch?

Robin: Righteous hair tab, brother.

Righteous ‚ˇ‚΂炾‚˘

Marshall: And once I figured it out, I started doing crazy stuff to see how far you'd let me go.

Marshall: Hey, guys. This is Rex. He's a possum. I found him in the trash. He lives with us now.

Lily: I love him.

Marshall: Lily, we are living with a possum. Rex is violent and he hates us.

Lily: But, baby, you just lost your dad. None of us wants to upset you.

Marshall: Please. If you guys really want me to get over the worst tragedy of my life, I'm begging you, tear me a new one. But not like Rex tried to in my sleep last night.

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