ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"you're on to something."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“3yŒ´‘čzI'm Not That Guy

Ted: There he is. Come on, let's go.

Barney: I get so nervous around celebrites.

Ted: Hi Ted Mosby. I'm Ted Mosby.

Porn Ted: Ted Mosby, it's you.

Ted: Have we met?

Barney: It is an honor to meet you, sir.

Barney: Starney Binson. Barney Stinson. Dammit.

Porn Ted: We have met. My real name's Steve Beale. When I was in fourth grade, you were in ninth, and one day I was out behind the school and a bunch of seventh graders were just beating the crap out of me.

Ted: Yeah, I remember. That was you?

Porn Ted: Yeah, but you pulled them off me. You told them to go pick on someone their own size.

pick on ‚˘‚ś‚ß‚é

Ted: Huh.

Porn Ted: I vowed, right then, that when I made something of myself, that I would honor you somehow.

vow ž‚¤ make something of oneself —§go˘‚ˇ‚é

Ted: So you took my name and starred in "Welcome to the Sex Truck"

Porn Ted: Yeah.

Ted: Um, yeah, listen, Ted. You gotta stop using my name. I'm trying to make a career as an architect.

Porn Ted: Architect, huh? You mean, like a sex architect?

Ted: What?

Barney: Yeah, you know, you're on to something. That would make a great title of a film. "Ted Mosby: Sex Architect."

onto something ‚˘‚˘‚Ć‚ą‚ë‚É‹C•t‚­

Porn Ted: You know, I'm actually looking for a new project to shoot next Friday afternoon.

shoot ŽB‰e‚đ‚ˇ‚é

Ted: Yeah, listen, isn't there some other way you can honor me? With all due respect...

with all due respect ‚¨Œž—t‚đ•Ô‚ˇ‚悤‚Ĺ‚ˇ‚Ş

Porn Ted: Wait, you're not mad, are you? Oh man, I knew it. My father said just plant a tree in Israel. Such an idiot. I guess I thought you'd be psyched.

Ted: I am. I am, but I just feel a little guilty because I'm not the one who saved you that day. The guy who actually saved you was named Lance Hardwood.

Barney: Lance Hardwood. Yeah.

Porn Ted: Really?

Ted: Mm.

Porn Ted: You might not know this, but in this business that's kind of a killer name.

Ted: Yeah, I guess, I guess it is.

Porn Ted: I can see the poster now. "Lance Hardwood: Sex Architect. Starring Ted Mosby."

Barney: I love it.

Narator: Marshall and Jeff stayed pretty late at the restaurant. They stayed so late, Marshall crashed on Jeff's couch.

Narator: And the next day, Marshall took part in a Sunday morning tradition as old as the city itself.

take part in ŽQ‰Á‚ˇ‚é

Narator: The walk of shame. The long journey home after doing something you regret the night before.

walk of shame —\‘z‚ŞŠO‚ę‚˝‚ą‚Ƃɑ΂ˇ‚锹ƒQ[ƒ€

Marshall: I'll take the job.

Jeff: What? That's awesome.

Jeff: Great time last night. I'll call ya later.

Girl: He's not gonna call you.

Marshall: Hey.

Lily: Hey.

Marshall: Um, did you get my message? I just crashed on the couch...

Lily: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. I have, uh, something to tell you.

Marshall: I have something I need to tell you also.

Lily: Mine's pretty huge.

Marshall: You go first.

Lily: Well...

Marshall: I took the job! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was drunk, and it was a haze of cigars and Scotch and Swayze! And they offered me like, like, like, like a lot of money.

haze of cigar smoke —tŠŞ‚̉Œ‚Ě‚ŕ‚â

Lily: Oh Marshall. How much money?

Marshall: Here.

Marshall: It's completely despicable. I know, I know, I sold out for a huge pile of disgusting money. Disgusting money that could help our future family, have some financial security, and you helped pay for law school. Law school. Law school that I went to to help protect the environment, not destroy it, and for what? For, for a lot of money.

despicable ”Ú—ň‚Č disgusting ”ńí‚É•s‰ő‚Č

Ted: OK. You gotta stop screaming. Listen, Marshall, you know what I like to do in situations like this?

Marshall: Ted, if you say make a list of pros and cons, I'm going to smack you.

smack `‚đƒsƒVƒƒƒŠ‚Ć‘Ĺ‚Â

Ted: I wasn't gonna say that.

Wendy: OK, two beers, and, Ted, here's that yellow legal pad you asked for.

Ted: Yellow legal pad? I ordered fries. Maybe you should use this to write down people's orders.

Marshall: Guys, I don't know what to do.

Barney: Take the money. Money's good. Money is happiness.

Marshall: If I work there, I'll be representing the most evil corporations in the world.

Ted: Sounds like a pro and con list to me.

Robin: Lily, you have to tell him. You can help him make this decision.

Lily: Oh, I think he's doing fine on his own.

Lily: All right.

Lily: Marshall. I have something to say, and it's gonna help you make your decision.

Marshall: Oh, of course, you know my heart better than I do. You know what's best for me and for us. Please, please tell me what to do.

Lily: I think you should take the job at the NRDC.

Marshall: Of course I should. Of course I should.

Marshall: Guys, I am going to save the planet Earth. I gotta go call Jeff.

Robin: What is the matter with you?

Lily: I can't ask him to make himself miserable because of a mistake I made. It's my problem, I'll figure it out.

Robin: That's really sweet. Those new earrings?

Lily: What are you, my mom?

Jeff: Hey Marshall.

Marshall: I have something that I need to tell you. I feel really weird about doing this over the phone.

Jeff: Then don't.

Jeff: Before you say anything, come take a ride in this awesome limo with me.

Marshall: Where are we going?

Jeff: Tuckahoe Funland.

Marshall: I'm sorry, it sounded like you said Tuckahoe Funland, the magic factory where dreams are made.

Jeff: Get in.

Marshall: Man, I love this place.

Jeff: Me too, buddy. So what did you wanna tell me?

Marshall: I can't work for you.

Jeff: I know, dude. It's fine. Marshall Eriksen wants to preserve the environment so that our children can enjoy it as we have. I get it.

Marshall: Good, thank you.

Jeff: I look down, see children enjoying this place.

Marshall: Yeah, because somebody fought to preserve it. If they ever shut this place down, it would be a tragedy.

tragedy ”ߌ€

Jeff: Well, the good news is that'll never happen. You won't let it. Because when you work for us, your only client will be this place, Tuckahoe Funland.

Marshall: I'm taking the job. And the best part is, I'm not even gonna be representing some sort of evil corporation. I will be representing...Tuckahoe Funland, the least evil place in the world.

Narator: Or so Marshall thought.

Marshall: Uh-oh.

Lily: Oh, I better check on him.

Lily: Good luck in there baby. I believe in you.

Barney: Got it. "Lance Hardwood: Sex Architect," starring Ted Mosby.

Ted: Terrific.

Barney: You'll notice I'm in the credits. I did some location scouting.

Porn Ted: Here are the plans for the new international sex building.

Ted: Wow, that really looks like our apartment.

Barney: It is. Oh, I should return this.

Porn Girl: Oh, sex architect, you've done it again. Let's go celebrate on the couch.

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