Ted: There he is. Come on, let's go.
Barney: I get so nervous around celebrites.
Ted: Hi Ted Mosby. I'm Ted Mosby.
Porn Ted: Ted Mosby, it's you.
Ted: Have we met?
Barney: It is an honor to meet you, sir.
Barney: Starney Binson. Barney Stinson. Dammit.
Porn Ted: We have met. My real name's Steve Beale. When I was in fourth grade, you were in ninth, and one day I was out behind the school and a bunch of seventh graders were just beating the crap out of me.
Ted: Yeah, I remember. That was you?
Porn Ted: Yeah, but you pulled them off me. You told them to go pick on someone their own size.
pick on いじめる
Porn Ted: I vowed, right then, that when I made something of myself, that I would honor you somehow.
vow 誓う make something of oneself 立身出世する
Ted: So you took my name and starred in "Welcome to the Sex Truck"
Porn Ted: Yeah.
Ted: Um, yeah, listen, Ted. You gotta stop using my name. I'm trying to make a career as an architect.
Porn Ted: Architect, huh? You mean, like a sex architect?
Barney: Yeah, you know, you're on to something. That would make a great title of a film. "Ted Mosby: Sex Architect."
onto something いいところに気付く
Porn Ted: You know, I'm actually looking for a new project to shoot next Friday afternoon.
Ted: Yeah, listen, isn't there some other way you can honor me? With all due respect...
with all due respect お言葉を返すようですが
Porn Ted: Wait, you're not mad, are you? Oh man, I knew it. My father said just plant a tree in Israel. Such an idiot. I guess I thought you'd be psyched.
Ted: I am. I am, but I just feel a little guilty because I'm not the one who saved you that day. The guy who actually saved you was named Lance Hardwood.
Barney: Lance Hardwood. Yeah.
Porn Ted: Really?
Porn Ted: You might not know this, but in this business that's kind of a killer name.
Ted: Yeah, I guess, I guess it is.
Porn Ted: I can see the poster now. "Lance Hardwood: Sex Architect. Starring Ted Mosby."
Barney: I love it.
Narator: Marshall and Jeff stayed pretty late at the restaurant. They stayed so late, Marshall crashed on Jeff's couch.
Narator: And the next day, Marshall took part in a Sunday morning tradition as old as the city itself.
take part in 参加する
Narator: The walk of shame. The long journey home after doing something you regret the night before.
walk of shame 予想が外れたことに対する罰ゲーム
Marshall: I'll take the job.
Jeff: What? That's awesome.
Jeff: Great time last night. I'll call ya later.
Girl: He's not gonna call you.
Marshall: Um, did you get my message? I just crashed on the couch...
Lily: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. I have, uh, something to tell you.
Marshall: I have something I need to tell you also.
Lily: Mine's pretty huge.
Marshall: You go first.
Marshall: I took the job! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was drunk, and it was a haze of cigars and Scotch and Swayze! And they offered me like, like, like, like a lot of money.
haze of cigar smoke 葉巻の煙のもや
Lily: Oh Marshall. How much money?
Marshall: It's completely despicable. I know, I know, I sold out for a huge pile of disgusting money. Disgusting money that could help our future family, have some financial security, and you helped pay for law school. Law school. Law school that I went to to help protect the environment, not destroy it, and for what? For, for a lot of money.
despicable 卑劣な disgusting 非常に不快な
Ted: OK. You gotta stop screaming. Listen, Marshall, you know what I like to do in situations like this?
Marshall: Ted, if you say make a list of pros and cons, I'm going to smack you.
Ted: I wasn't gonna say that.
Wendy: OK, two beers, and, Ted, here's that yellow legal pad you asked for.
Ted: Yellow legal pad? I ordered fries. Maybe you should use this to write down people's orders.
Marshall: Guys, I don't know what to do.
Barney: Take the money. Money's good. Money is happiness.
Marshall: If I work there, I'll be representing the most evil corporations in the world.
Ted: Sounds like a pro and con list to me.
Robin: Lily, you have to tell him. You can help him make this decision.
Lily: Oh, I think he's doing fine on his own.
Lily: All right.
Lily: Marshall. I have something to say, and it's gonna help you make your decision.
Marshall: Oh, of course, you know my heart better than I do. You know what's best for me and for us. Please, please tell me what to do.
Lily: I think you should take the job at the NRDC.
Marshall: Of course I should. Of course I should.
Marshall: Guys, I am going to save the planet Earth. I gotta go call Jeff.
Robin: What is the matter with you?
Lily: I can't ask him to make himself miserable because of a mistake I made. It's my problem, I'll figure it out.
Robin: That's really sweet. Those new earrings?
Lily: What are you, my mom?
Jeff: Hey Marshall.
Marshall: I have something that I need to tell you. I feel really weird about doing this over the phone.
Jeff: Then don't.
Jeff: Before you say anything, come take a ride in this awesome limo with me.
Marshall: Where are we going?
Jeff: Tuckahoe Funland.
Marshall: I'm sorry, it sounded like you said Tuckahoe Funland, the magic factory where dreams are made.
Jeff: Get in.
Marshall: Man, I love this place.
Jeff: Me too, buddy. So what did you wanna tell me?
Marshall: I can't work for you.
Jeff: I know, dude. It's fine. Marshall Eriksen wants to preserve the environment so that our children can enjoy it as we have. I get it.
Marshall: Good, thank you.
Jeff: I look down, see children enjoying this place.
Marshall: Yeah, because somebody fought to preserve it. If they ever shut this place down, it would be a tragedy.
Jeff: Well, the good news is that'll never happen. You won't let it. Because when you work for us, your only client will be this place, Tuckahoe Funland.
Marshall: I'm taking the job. And the best part is, I'm not even gonna be representing some sort of evil corporation. I will be representing...Tuckahoe Funland, the least evil place in the world.
Narator: Or so Marshall thought.
Lily: Oh, I better check on him.
Lily: Good luck in there baby. I believe in you.
Barney: Got it. "Lance Hardwood: Sex Architect," starring Ted Mosby.
Barney: You'll notice I'm in the credits. I did some location scouting.
Porn Ted: Here are the plans for the new international sex building.
Ted: Wow, that really looks like our apartment.
Barney: It is. Oh, I should return this.
Porn Girl: Oh, sex architect, you've done it again. Let's go celebrate on the couch.