Narator: OK, where was I? It was June 2006 and life had just taken an unexpected turn.
Ted's daughter:Can't you just skip ahead to the part where you meet Mom? I feel you've been talking for like a year
Narator: Honey, all this stuff I'm telling you is important. It's all part of the story.
Ted's son: Can I go to the bathroom?
Ted: No. The summer of 2006 was both wonderful and awful. For me, it started out great. In fact, day one was amazing. I'd finally gotten together with Robin. But while I'd been off having one of the best nights of my life, your Uncle Marshall had been having one of the worst nights of his.
Marshall: So that's it? We're breaking up?
Lily: Marshall, I'm sorry. I just... I just need to go to San Francisco and do this art program and figure out who I am outside of us. And the only way that I can do that is if we don't talk for a while.
Marshall: For a while? Try never, OK? You walk out that door and we're done. You're never gonna hear my voice again.
Marshall: I should call her.
Ted: No! No! If you call her, when she asked you not to, you're just gonna look weak and you're gonna regret it. Now, listen. Whenever you feel like calling her, you come find me first... and I will punch you in the face.
Marshall: You're a good friend Ted.
Robin: Hey! So, did you hear the big news?
Ted: You mean how Lily and Marshall broke up and Lily is gone and nothing else even remotely important happened last night? Yeah, I think he knows.
Robin: Oh my god! I... I'm so sorry. What happened?
Marshall: Well, she left. And I don't even know if she's coming back.
Barney: I didn't get your message until I woke up. Bro, I am so sorry.
Barney: I know it must be tough. But are you ready to hear something that will not only make you feel better but will actively excite you?
Barney: For the first time ever, the three of us are single at the same time. I've dreamed about this day boys and it's going to be legendary! Together, we will own this city. Any time, a girl wants to get back at her ex-boyfriend, we'll be there. Any time a girl wants to solve her father issues through promiscuity and binge-drinking, we will be there. Any time a bachelorette party drives through the city in a limo sticking their heads out, shouting "What's up New York?" we will be what is up New York! Gentlemen, we are about to embark on... Oh man, you guys did it, didn't you?!
get back at 〜に復讐する promiscuity ごちゃ混ぜ binge どんちゃん騒ぎ embark 着手する、乗り出す
Narator: One thing I learned that summer is that when love is beginning and love is ending the first thirty days are remarkably similar. For one thing, you spend most of the time in bed. Your friends can't stand to listen to you. And you never seems to wear pants.
Ted: Hey Marshall.
Marshall: Hey Ted.
Ted: Are you hungry?
Marshall: What's the point? I could it some food, it's just gonna leave me.
What's the point? なんの意味があるの？
Ted: At least in that scenario, you get to do the dumping. Come on, it's Sunday, it's pancakes day!
do the dumping used to intimidate oponents or rally together teamates.
Marshall: Lily always made the pancakes. God, I loved her pancakes. So soft. So warmed. So perfectly shaped.
Ted: Are we still talking about her pancakes? Come on, you gotta eat something. What can I get you?
Ted: No, that's what you had for dinner.
Marshall: Fine. Than I'll just have the leftover.
Barney: So he stays home all the time not getting laid? No, see, that's what you do when you have a fiance. He should be down here celebrating. He's free. He got that red-head-tumor removed.
Ted: You should write and illustrate children's books.
Barney: You know what Marshall needs to do? He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.
Ted: It's only been a month. He just needs to goat his own pace. Anyway, lily is the one who caused this whole mess.
Robin: Hey, cut her some slack! She's our friend too. She's just trying to figure out who she is.
cut some slack 少しのんびりする
Ted: Figure out who she is? She should call me. I got a whole list. She's selfish, she's immature, she's...
Ted: God, your eyes are so blue.
Robin: Teddy bear...
Narator: Yeah it was hard to feel too bad. I was dating the woman of my dreams and things were going great. Well, for the most part.
Marshall: So, I find her shampoo. I guess she left it here. It smells like her. Like lavender and seashells. Hope. Somehow erotic and comforting all at the same time.
Robin: That's my shampoo.
Marshall: Oh. Sorry.
Robin: I thought he's never go to sleep.
Ted: He's calling her. Dammit!
Robin: I don't hear anyth...
Ted:He's calling her! Argh!
Marshall: Oh! OK, you're right. I won't call her. I will not call her.
Marshall: Well, I called her. And get this, she changed her number. Well like I'm gonna stalk her or something? Like she's so special?! Like she's the only Lily Aldrin out there? 'Cause there are four others in the San Francisco area alone, and they all seem a lot better than her, based on the brief conversations I had with them!
Robin:Does he know I'm in here?
Marshall: Yeah. Hey Robin. Anyway, one of the Lily Adrins...
Robin: This has to stop! Ted, we just started dating. We agreed we don't wanna move too fast and yet somehow we have a baby. He can't feed himself, he cries a lot, he keeps us up all night...
Barney: Have you tried breast-feeding? Nailed it!
Ted: They were together nine years. It's only been a month and a half. He just needs to go his own pace.
Robin: He slept on our floor last night Ted.
Ted: He watched a scary movie.
Robin: It is time for some tough love. We need to get him out of that apartment. He needs fresh air. He needs sunshine.
Barney: Mmm. Sunshine.