Barney: No es posible! Nobody moves to Argentina. The Argentinean peso has dropped two-thirds in five years, the government is opposed to free market reforms, and the railroad has been a mess since the breakup of Ferrocarriles Argentinos. I hooked up with an Argentinean exchange student in a Porta-John outside Yankee Stadium. Man, she was chatty.
Robin: Right? Right?
Barney: You caught the bouquet?
Ted: Barney. The story's not over yet.
Robin: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Robin: I don't know if I can do this to you.
Ted: Do what?
Robin: Well, you say you want to move to Argentina, but you want to have kids.
Ted: Oh, right. 'Cause there are no kids there. On Santa's map of the world, there's a big black "X" over Argentina.
Robin: You know what I mean.
Ted: No, I don't. Okay, say we had kids. They wouldn't have to grow up in some suburb somewhere. They would grow up on the road having adventures with us. Think of all the Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts they could collect.
Robin: Ted, you know that kids were never a part of my plan. But if I was going to have someone's babies, I'd have your babies.
Barney: That's when you run. Tell me you ran, Ted.
Robin: Wait, wait, wait. We don't want to start having babies right this second. Do you have a...?
Ted: No, I don't.
Robin: Well, we probably shouldn't.
Robin: Risk it?
Ted: Risk it.
Man: All right, ladies and gentlemen, if you're all gather around, Lily and Marshall are going to cut the cake.
Barney: No. Robin, you're not... No, say the story's not over.
Robin: Come on, they're cutting the cake.
Barney: Say the story's not over! Oh, God, this is the 12th most worried I've ever been that someone's pregnant.
Marshall: Okay, Lily. I'm really hungry, so let's just, uh, aim for my mouth, okay? Besides, the smearing the cake thing's a cliche, remember?
Lily: No, it's going to be so funny.
Marshall: Lily. Lily, just feed me the cake. Please, baby, I am so hungry./p>
Marshall: And she's okay. She's all right. That was funny. And it's time for the honeymoon. Guys, guys, guys. Thank you so much.
Lily: We love you. I love you.
Barney: Getting married, having kids. It's all a mistake. It's a horrible, horrible mistake.
Man: God, this guy's giving me nothing.
Ted: All right, have fun in Scotland. If you see the Loch Ness Monster, tell him Ted Mosby says, "What's up?"
Marshall: Nessie's a she, Ted, come on.
Ted: Hey, kiddo.
Barney: You are going to miss out on a lot of awesome stuff. You'll be at home with the kid while I am out awesome-ing all over the place. And you're going to get fat.
Ted: The story's not over, Barney.
Ted: Okay, time to get the horn back to the bistro.
Robin: Oh, Ted, I don't know if I can go again. That tuckered me out.
tuckered out 疲れ切っている
Ted: Not a euphemism.
Robin: Right. Okay, let me just go change, and we'll leave.
Ted: Whoa, whoa, you get to change and I don't? Uh-uh. Solidarity, sister.
Robin: That is crazy. I have a change of clothes and you don't. Suck it up.
Suck it up グダグダ言わない
Ted: Well, if we'd actually moved in together, all my stuff would be here, but we didn't, so...
Robin: Yeah. We were all talk, weren't we?
Ted: We're not doing this, are we?
Robin: I don't want to have kids in Argentina.
Ted: And I don't want to have kids in Argentina.
Robin: So where does that leave us?
Ted: Well... we could stay together and... pretend this stuff doesn't matter. Or... we could give back the blue French horn.
Robin: You stole a blue French horn for me.
Ted: I would have stolen you a whole orchestra.
Barney: You did break up.
Barney: You're not pregnant?
Barney: An-And Marshall and Lily don't know?
Ted: Well, afterwards, uh, we came by to tell you guys, but Lily was pretty stressed out, so...
Robin: We decided not to say anything till after the wedding.
Barney: You guys okay?
Ted: Well, it hasn't been the easiest two weeks of our lives, but...
Robin: But we're okay.
Ted: The open bar helps.
Kid: Excuse me, Miss.
Kid: Could I have this dance?
Ted: Well, we knew this day would come eventually. Take care of her, little man.
Marshall: This is by far the drunkest I've ever seen you. Uh, driver.
Marshall: Ranjit!! Hey, can we make a stop before we head back to the hotel?
Ranjit: You do not have to stop. You can be together as man and wife right back there, and because we are friends... I will not watch.
Marshall: Um, no, we actually had something else in mind.
Marshall: Lily, go sit down.
Man: Welcome to Wienerburger.
Marshall: Hi. Can we get a number one, please, with no pickles? And a number four with no onions.
Man: Let me guess. Jefferson High prom?
Marshall: No. But thank you. Actually, we just got married.
Man: Wow. Congratulations.
Marshall: Thank you.
Man: That's $7.80. Hey, dude.
Man: I don't know how to say this, but your wife just threw up in the trash.
Marshall: My wife...
Narator: So Marshall and Lily were married, and Robin and I were broken up. And as hard as it was at the time, in the end we both got what we wanted. She did eventually go on to live in Argentina and Morocco and Greece, Russia, even Japan for a little while. And I... well, I met your mom. I think for the most part if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, Of course, at that moment, all I really wanted was a scotch and soda and a cigar.
Barney: I'm really sorry about you and Robin. I know I was always joking around about wanting you two to break up, but you were really good together.
Ted: Yeah... we were. She just wasn't the one, you know?
Barney: The one. Oh, Ted, no. Do not tell me you're going to start searching for "the one" again. The only time I want to hear you saying "the one" is if it's followed by the word "hundredth." What up?
Ted: No, I need a break from all that, I... I just want to get out there and have fun for a while, you know?
Barney: Really? 'Cause... you know, you've been in a relationship for a year. You're going to... be a little rusty.
Barney: I'm just saying... you're gonna need, need, need some help out there.
Ted: Could be.
Ted: Yes, Barney.
Barney: Do you think... Do you think maybe you might... need a wingman again?
Ted: I do.
Barney: Yes! Yes! We're back. We are back. And Ted, my boy, it's going to be legend... Wait for it...