ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Way ahead of you."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“3yŒ´‘čzWait for It

Barney: Ted. Ted. Ted. Ted. Ted.

Ted: What?!!

Barney: Let's bail, this place is dead.

bail —§‚ż‹Ž‚é

Ted: Yeah, you're right. We're both totally striking out.

strike out Ž¸”s‚ˇ‚é

Barney: Yes, exactly, plus, we're on a tight schedule. I've got the entire evening perfectly planned out... Spoiler alert Our last stop is an after hours club so after hours, it's three days from now. What up?

spoiler alert ƒlƒ^ƒoƒŒ’ˆÓ

Ted: Are you blind? I'm making out with a 12. I am winning.

Barney: Yeah. But I didn't get to help.

Ted: So you're saying you want me to throw away a super hot girl just because you didn't help me get her?

Barney: Apology accepted. Let's go.

Amy: Who's the suit?

Ted: Hum. This is Barney. Barney, Amy.

Barney: I'm not gonna remember that. Now, if you'll excuse me, random chick from earlier tonight, as you shall henceforth be known. Ted and I have a schedule to keep.

henceforth ‚ą‚ĚŽž“_‚ć‚č

Amy: Oh, well. You can check out off 08:54, dress up like a dork and bother the cool kids. Beat it, nerd.

nerd ‚΂Š

Barney: Wow. Wow. Great stuff, Tommy Lee. See what you don't understand is, I'm Ted wingman. It's a sacred bond, much stronger that any... They're making out again!

Marshall: Massage therapist. And you know what, "Gayle"? Your piece of chicken looks a little tense to me. Oh, oh, does that feel good, Mr. Chicken? Well, guess what? I didn't wash my hands. Got him.

Marshall: Lily?!

Gael: We carry so much ancient emotion in our neck and shoulders. Things we should have let go of years ago.

ancient ”N˜V‚˘‚˝ let go of `‚đ‰đ‚Ť•ú‚Â

Lily: Oh, I forgive you, Mom.

Marshall: Lily, we are Ted's best friends. Our job is to hate that guy.

Lily: Oh, yeah, that's what I was doing. I was building him up so few minutes later, I could totally cut him down.

build someone up ‚ÉŠú‘Ň‚đ•ř‚Š‚š‚é

Marshall: Weren't you wearing a bra?

Narrator: The night was doing great. Amy was cool and dangerous. She found a friend for Barney. She even paid for drinks... sort of.

Barney: They know us here! You're gonna get us in trouble.

Amy: Tell me something. Do you ask your tailor to leave extra room in the crotch for your huge vagina?

crotch ŒŇ

Barney: You... your vagina... Ted, this chick is crazy. We're leaving.

Amy: Good idea. Let's all go back to my place.

Barney: Your place? Thanks, but no thanks, 1994 Courtney Love.

Amy: I have a hot tub.

Barney: Okay, this place is actually pretty nice.

Ted: I like your tatts.

Amy: Thanks. You can play with them if you want. They're a hundred percent real.

Ted: No, your tatts... toos. Your tattoos.

Amy: Oh, thanks. You should get one.

Barney: Wrong. Ted has a classic clean-cut look that never goes out of style season after season, burn.

clean-cut g‚ž‚ľ‚Č‚Ý‚Ě—Ç‚˘

Amy: Yeah? Well. I think he would look hot with some ink.

Barney: No, he wouldn't.

Amy: Yes, he would.

Barney: No, he wouldn't.

Amy: Yuh-huh.

Barney: Nuh-uh.

The Girl: I'm ready to do anything you want by the way. Anything. Right now.

Barney: Ted. Who are you gonna side with on this tattoos thing?

Ted: I think I'd look way hot with some ink.

Amy: Yeah, you would.

Ted: Yeah.

Amy: Oh my God, Tyler?

Tyler: Mommy! Daddy! She's back.

Amy: Damn it! They're supposed to be in the Hamptons. Run!

Amy: Sorry. I used to nanny for those jerks before they fired me. So unfair.

nanny ‚¨‚΂ ‚ż‚á‚ń

Barney: Unfair? I wouldn't let you take care of the imaginary kids I make up to score with single moms. That's it Ted, we're going home. Ted? Ted, you okay?

Gael: Hello, Ted. Robin and I are about to make fantastic aquatic sex on this windsurfing board.

Robin: And I just want to make sure you're okay with this. Okay, how do we do this?

Gael: I think your leg goes up, up...

Robin: Okay, how 'bout if I, um...

Gael: No, mine...

Ted: I'm okay. In fact, here's how okay I am. I'm gettin' a tattoo.

Barney: You're not getting a tattoo. It's not you. Ted, you are heading down a dark path.

Ted: That dark path is my driveway.

Barney: But you need a plan and you need a wingman!

Barney: This is so going in my blog!

Amy's friend: Want to have sex?

Barney: Okay.

Ted: And underneath, it should say "I win".

Amy: Oh, fire. We should start a fire.

Ted: After this maybe. Oh, man, this is going to be legen... wait for it...

Narrator: And that's all I remember. The next morning, I woke up alone back home.

Marshall: Hey, buddy, how was your night?

Ted: You know, it was great. I met this crazy girl, I almost got a tattoo. Don't worry, I didn't. But it was... It was amazing. I think it's safe to say, I am winning this breakup.

Lily: Look.

Marshall: Oh my God!

Ted: What?

Marshall: Nothing. This J. Crew catalog. Who brings two golden retrievers in a canoe?

Lily: We've gotta call Barney.

Marshall: Way ahead of you.

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