Yes, I smoked, and it was my third of the day.You know what that means? I'm a smoker now.It's all over.I even bought a pack on the way home and a lighter and a Vikings lamp, which has nothing to do with anything, but I saw it in the window and I liked it.
Damn it, Marshall.We already have four Vikings lamps and smoking kills.
It was a way to bond with my boss, okay? You should have seen me up there.
That is a cute dog.
Are those your kids?
Yeah, yeah, whatever.Hey, look what I got at the mall.There he is.There he is.Go ahead, you can pet him now.
Yeah, yeah, come on, he likes it.Scratch him under the chin.
I don't care what your reasons are.You know how I feel about smoking.Now, give me the cigarettes.And the lighter.Ah! That's the stuff.
Oh, yeah, add your Aunt Lily to the list.Whenever Uncle Marshall fell off the wagon, your Aunt Lily got dragged right down with him.
What you doing?
If you must know, I am reaching out to City Hall to try to get the mayor on our show.
Oh, my goodness, you are adorable, but the mayor's not coming on a show nobody watches.My colonoscopy had more viewers than this show.At least that had some twists and turns.
Okay, you know, I don't know why you're acting like this.
I mean, maybe you're just bitter because you never had a shot at a network job, but I think I still do, so I really need to focus.
bitter 毒舌の have a shot at 挑戦する
I've been on a network.
You were on a network?
It was the best Labor Day weekend of my life.When you do the news, you're in these ergonomic chairs.It feels like you're sitting on a cloud.Which was nice 'cause it was right after my colonoscopy.And the dressing rooms Oh.
There's dressing rooms?
You bet your sweet headset there's dressing rooms, Mike.No changing in the KFC bathroom across the street.No, sir.It was heaven.But the second you get used to it, they go find someone who isn't going through a bitter divorce and doesn't reek of gin, and before you know it, you're stuck in a dead-end gig, surrounded by people going nowhere, doing the news in your tighty whities.
Okay, the underwear thing was your choice, and I don't like that it's catching on.
Ah! Looking good, fellows.Feels good, right?
God, I want to kill him.Of course people watch the show.You guys watch the show, that's, like, two right there.Oh, my God.You guys still haven't seen my show.
What? We never miss it.We've seen it!
Really? What color is the set?
With, like, silver around the edges.
Not your TV set, my show set.
God, if I can't even get my best friends to watch, who's going to watch?
Lots of people.You got bedridden insomniacs.Bums camping outside a department store.People waiting in the ER, where the TV is in a cage, so you can't change the channel.
bedridden 寝たきりの insomniac 不眠症 Bum ホームレス
Do you have any stalkers?
Yeah, but even Leonard won't watch my show.
I can't believe those guys are smoking out there.It's freezing out.
Remember when you used to be able to smoke in bars?
Hey, dude.I think that hot girl over there's smiling at me.
That's a chair.But yeah, dude, hit that.
Well, it's dividing our group into smokers and non-smokers.And that's not healthy.
You're right.Let's go have a smoke.
Yeah, I'm not proud of it.
Look at you two.Smokers.Just like the rest of us.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.I am not a smoker.Post-coital, when I'm with Germans Sometimes those two overlap.coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, pre-coital, on a sailboat, the day the Mets are mathematically eliminated every year, and, of course, wait for it, 'cause Lord knows I have, pregnancy scares.
Why are you smoking right now?
I'm always pre-coital, Ted.
You know, maybe smoking's not so bad.I mean, at least it gets us out in the fresh air.
Yeah, and all the coughing really works my abs.I Am Ripped!
But as glamorous as it was, within a week we all hit our breaking point.
You okay, sweetie?
Actually, baby, my throat's a bit sore.
So, I'm whapping him across the nose with the newspaper, right? And my wife says, Come on, you can't treat your son like that.I don't know.Michael, call 911.
Oh, my God.Okay, yes, yeah, right away.It's Marshall, by the way.
Oh, my God.I hope Arthur's okay.Dibs on his office if he's not.
We have to quit smoking.
Honey, you said a mouthful.
say a mouthful 適切なことを言う
I wish I had never started.I mean, I think back to myself at 13 years old.If I could only go back to that moment
I hate that little bastard.
Okay, that's it.Let's quit.
Let's.Let's do it.
Well, I am proud of you guys.I have heard how difficult it is for smokers, like yourself, to quit, so, on behalf of non-smokers, I salute you, and I am here to help.So, hand in your cigarettes, and I will get rid of them, one at a time.
on behalf of 〜を代表して salute 敬意を表する
You're quitting, dollface.I know I don't normally call you dollface, but it kind of works in this voice.Dollface.
I was just wondering, is anyone else interviewing the mayor tomorrow on TV, or is it just me?
Hey, that's great.
Yeah, Don can suck it, while I suck this.Light me, Marshall.
Actually, we've decided that we're all quitting smoking.
That's fantastic.I'm sick of you guys bumming my cigarettes.
No, come on, Robin.We can't do it unless we all do it together.
You can sleep with Marshall.
Oh, God, Lily, no.
Sorry, baby, you got to take one for the team.
I don't want to sleep with Marshall.
I've seen the looks.
I can't quit right now.Not before the biggest interview of my life.It's too stressful.
It's too stressful!
Just have one more.
Give me a cigarette!
No, wait! Robin, Robin, think about this for a second.Bloomberg is the anti-smoking mayor.Do you really want to show up to that interview smelling like smoke? Lt'd be like interviewing a vegetarian smelling like a McRib.
Really? Like I'm not going through enough right now?
Look, you're quitting.We're all quitting.
Great.Great.We just have to get through the first 24 hours.After that, it's a cakewalk.