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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“2yŒ´‘čzStuff

Narator: Kids, the key to a good relationship is communication. You need to talk.

Robin: How about Mimi's?

Ted: Nah, I don't really feel like Mimi's.

Robin: Well, I'm hungry. Let's just pick a place and go.

Ted: Oh, you know where we should go? Cynthia's. You love that place, remember what a great time we had the last time we were there?

Robin: We did?

Ted: Yeah, yeah. We had that crazy waiter who kept going, "You two should get married! You two should get married!"

Narator: It's also important to know when to stop talking.

Ted: Come on. Then we stepped outside. It was raining. It was so romantic? How can you not remember this?

Robin: Because it wasn't me.

Ted: Oh, right! It was... my sister.

Narator: You see, by the time you've hit your late 20s, you've dated a few people, but when you're in a relationship, it's common courtesy to pretend that you haven't.

courtesy —ç‹V

Ted: Oh, my God, Van Helsing is on. Remember when we went to see it? We sat in the back row.

in the back row Œă—ń‚É‚˘‚é

Robin: I've never seen Van Helsing.

Ted: That's right. I saw it with my sister.

Robin: My boss just got back from Maui. He said it was really romantic.

Ted: Oh, it's so romantic.

Robin: When were you in Maui?

Ted: I... went... with my sister.

Robin: With my sister. Why do you always say that? Look, we're not 16. We've both dated other people. It's silly to try to act like we didn't.

Ted: You're right. We should just be honest.

Robin: Totally.

Ted: See that girl over there? Three years ago, I totally made out with her.

Robin: I don't want to hear that.

Ted: What? You said...

Robin: God, that is so insensitive.

Ted: Remember honesty...?

Robin: You're a jerk!

Ted: Well, you're...confusing.

Marshall: Okay, so you have to have sex with one. Either classic mermaid; bottom half fish, top half human, or inverted mermaid, top half fish, bottom half human. Go!

inverted ”˝“]‚ľ‚˝

Barney: I don't know. Is she fat?

Marshall: Yeah, but it's a fish, so it's the good kind of fat.

Lily: Hot off the presses!

Hot off the presses V”­”„‚Ě

Barney: I-I don't take flyers.

flyers ƒ`ƒ‰ƒV ƒrƒ‰

Marshall: You took one two seconds before you walked in here.

Barney: That's different. It was for a strip club. Two bucks off wings. How much is your flyer going to save me on wings?

Lily: Fine. It's a flyer from my play.

Barney: Oh, Lily, I'd love to, but we're not in college and I'm not trying to sleep with you. So anyway, this mermaid...

Marshall: Hey, Lily's friend asked her to be in this play, and it's gonna be really good.

Barney: Lily, I love you, but we're too old for this. Asking someone to come see your play is like asking someone for a ride to the airport or to crash on your couch or to help you move. Call a cab, book a room, hire some movers and repeat after me. Friends don't let friends come see their crappy play.

Can I crash on your couch tonight? Ą–éAƒIƒ}ƒG‚ĚƒJƒEƒ`‚ŐQ‚Ä‚˘‚˘‚ŠH

Ted: Okay, first of all, I've thought about it and top half fish. Second of all, we need you guys to decide something for us.

Barney: Yes, you should break up.

Ted: So, earlier tonight...

Robin: Mm, we should get down to the bar.

get down to –{˜‚đ“ü‚ę‚ÄŽć‚čŠ|‚Š‚é

Ted: I know we should, but you just look so sexy in my red sweatshirt.

Barney: Oh, God, why is this part of the story?

Ted: We're getting to it.

Robin: Damn, my face is so dry. Is there any moisturizer around here?

Ted: Yeah, there's some in the bathroom. Got to moisturize! Got to keep that pretty face moist.

Lily: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Barney: What's wrong with her?

Marshall: She hates that word.

Barney: What word, "moist"?

Lily: No! Seriously, stop!

Robin: So, anyway, Ted goes into the bathroom to get the moist... face lotion...

Robin: Wow, this is great stuff. Now I know the secret to your great complexion.

complexion ŠçF

Ted: What are you talking about? It's yours.

Robin: No, it's not.

Ted: Oh, well... then I guess it's Lily's.

Lily: No, it's not.

Robin: Whose moisturizer is this, Ted?

Ted: Um, my sister's.

Robin: So, in other words, some girl you went out with.

Ted: Um... I love you.

Robin: Disgusting. You let me put on the same moisturizer as one of your exes?

Disgusting ‰˜‚ç‚í‚ľ‚˘

Lily: It was probably Carla's. Her face was a train wreck.

train wreck ‘ĺŽSŽ–

Marshall: I'm don't think Ted was dating her for her face.

Ted: Thank you, Marshall. Thank you so much.

Robin: Why is that still in your apartment?

Ted: I don't know. I just never threw it out.

Robin: Well, why not? Do you still have feelings for this girl?

Ted: Yeah. I'm madly in love with her, and the only way I can deal with it is by holding onto a three-dollar tube of lotion.

madly in love with ‚É–Ň—ó‚É—ö‚ľ‚Ä‚é

Robin: Not three dollars! Try 14.

Ted: Why is this such a big deal?

Robin: Because I don't want to use some whore's moisturizer!

Ted: Whoa, she wasn't a whore.

whore ”„t•w

Robin: Well, she's leaving expensive lotions all over town. It sounds like a whore to me. What else do you have from old girlfriends just lying around?

Ted: Nothing. That's it. Well, except for the phone booth. And the lamp by the desk... and the...

Robin: No. No! No! Oh, Ted!

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