Marshall: She's not getting rid of the dogs.
Lily: What's the matter with you?
Barney: Even I wouldn't do that.
Lily: You can ask somebody to get rid of their iguana after it poops in your hair, but not their dog.
Marshall: I miss Jebediah.
Barney: Oh, I almost forgot. Flyers for my new play.
Lily: Very funny.
Barney: Oh, it's not a joke. It's my one-man show premiering tomorrow night. And even though it's terrible and excruciatingly long, I expect you all to be there since we're such good friends.
Lily: Oh, we'll be there.
Barney: Unless, of course, you just want to admit that you were wrong...
Barney: Good. Okay, I gotta go rehearse. Oh, I almost forgot. Bring a poncho; the first three rows get wet.
Robin: I'm sorry I didn't tell you where the dogs came from.
Ted: I'm sorry I asked you to get rid of them. That was ridiculous.
Robin: So we're-we're okay?
Ted: Yeah, we're great.
Narator: And I thought we were, but just as it did in the seventh act of Aunt Lily's play, Jealousy reared its ugly head.
rear 飼育する 後ろ脚で立つ
Man: Oh, yeah, that's the spot.
Man: Dude, I gotta pee.
Ted: I gotta go.
Lily: Oh, he's really having trouble dealing with this, huh?
Robin: Yeah, he really is. It's got me thinking, maybe I should get rid of my dogs. Might be time to send them to the farm.
Lily: You're gonna kill your dogs?!
Robin: No! No, no, no, there really is a farm. My aunt has a farm upstate.
Lily: Oh, thank God. Aw, you know, if I were five dogs, I'd rather live on a farm than in an apartment in Brooklyn.
Robin: Yeah. I could visit them on weekends. My aunt is awfully lonely up there. It's just her and her lover, Betty.
Lily: Oh, that's perfect. They love dogs.
Robin: "They"? What do you mean by "they"?
Lily: Uh... uh.... uh... People upstate. Oh, look, it's starting. Shh!
Marshall: Are you sure you're gonna be okay? I mean, you know that this is gonna be...
Lily: I know, but I'm gonna sit through the whole thing, and I'm gonna say something nice about it afterwards. You know why? Because that's what friends do.
Barney: Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist.
Narator: That was the first 40 minutes of Barney's show.
Narator: And then we endured about 20 minutes of this.
Barney: I have to go refill. I'll be back in a moment.
Marshall: I never get picked for audience participation.
Narator: And then it just got weird.
Barney: Feelings. Inside. Oh, no!
Narator: And when that didn't work...
Lily: Okay! Stop! You win. Fine. Barney, I'm sorry I made you come to my show.
Barney: Thank you, Lily. Is there anything you'd like to say about my show?
Lily: No. No, I have nothing nice to say about your show. You were right, Barney. Let's go to the bar.
Barney: Yes! I win! I love winning! Oh, Lily. Oh, Lily, Lily, Lily. I was just getting warmed up, man!
Lily: Well, I imagine it was pretty awful, so let's go.
Barney: Pretty awful? Pretty awful?! It was a masterpiece of awful. It's genius how bad it is. I kind of wish you guys could see it.
Lily: Yeah, well, anyway.
Barney: Act two is where I really hit my stride. Spoiler alert the robot falls in love.
hit my stride 本調子になる
Lily: How about this, Barney? How about we stay and-and watch the rest of your show?
Barney: It's your funeral. Five, six, one, two.
Narator: So we stayed and let Barney torture us for another hour and a half, 'cause that's what friends do, apparently.
Ted: Where've you been? I called you earlier.
Robin: I gave my dogs away to my aunt.
Ted: You what?
Robin: Yeah. Just for a few months as a test run, but... I think it's for the best.
Ted: Wow. Oh, man.
Robin: Can we go inside?
Ted: Uh, no. Uh, let's go to the bar.
Robin: Why? What's going on inside?
Ted: Um, the floors are gone.
Ted: Yeah. I-I sent them out to get, um, fixed. This is a terrible lie. I'm just going to bail.
Ted: I didn't know you were getting rid of the dogs!
Robin: You said you threw all that stuff away!
Narator: Kids, this was the worst fight Robin and I ever had. It was one of those fights that last for hours and you start to get woozy and lose track of what you're fighting about. We fought for so long, seasons changed outside the window. Pages of the calendar blew off. It was crazy. But, ultimately, and I couldn't tell you how for the life of me, but somehow we got to here.
Robin: We're really doing this?
Ted and Robin: We're moving in together!
Barney: The robot found love Confusing my circuitry My software's been hacked Toaster oven You're the one for me Two, three, four.
Marshall: That's two.