Nailed it.Who's up for a three-way? Lisa, wait.
You're Lisa? Sarah, wait.Look, I'm not Neil Armstrong.I'm sorry I lied.
Well, I guess I wasn't completely honest with you either.I mean, I said that I was 28, but the truth is that I'm really 31.And if we're being completely honest, I went to the doctor the other day and found out
Thirty-one! I was happy, very happy, thinking that I had nailed a 28-year-old with some sun damage.People want the lie, Marshall.They need the lie, which is why, as far as I'm concerned, you were mugged by a monkey.Just as sure as I had that three-way.I am the greatest in the world!
Barney, is that the three-way belt?
You know it.
Props! Man, I slept so great last night.Can you believe I almost bought a gun? I'm so glad you got mugged by a monkey.
Okay, you guys got me.I was just nervous.I got mugged by a monkey.
Yes! I knew it!
Wait a minute.Now I'm thinking you really weren't mugged by a monkey.
Come on, Ted.Why would he make something like that up?
Yeah, come on, Ted.
Come here.Okay, seriously, what is that cologne? It's intoxicating.
So, late the following night, we all went to the set of Robin's show.
Okay, Marshall, now, don't be nervous.What we're going to do is, we're going to sit you - What the hell is this?
I don't know.Looks like something covered by a sheet.Guess if you want to find out, you're gonna have to do a story on it.
You're gonna be covered by a sheet if you don't get your stupid model out of here.
Dude, what are you doing?
I don't think Marshall's going to lie on TV.And when he backs out, I want to be there for my friend Robin with a story.Or rather, 102 stories, because that's how tall a certain iconic New York landmark is.
Now, I want to buy a gun.
Whoa, the monkey's here.
Surprise.We thought it would help the story to bring him here so you could face your attacker.Yeah, because of this incident, we will be sending Captain Bobo to a wildlife sanctuary.
Ooh! I bet he'll like it there.
No, ma'am.You see, we'll be splitting him up from his mate Milly.They've been together for a long time.
His mate's name is Milly?
And then the interview began.
Marshall, in your own words, describe what happened.
Well, I would I I would love to tell you what happened, Robin.But I'm just I'm so curious as to what is going on underneath that sheet.
Well, we're not here to talk about that.We're here to talk about your mugging.
Right.Well, people get mugged in New York City all the time, Robin.But how often do you get to see whatever's under that sheet? Mike, can we get a shot of that?
We'll be right back.
What the hell are you doing?
Okay, Robin, I wasn't really mugged by a monkey, okay? I just made up that story so that Lily wouldn't buy a gun.
So, you weren't mugged by a monkey?
No, what are you talking about, baby? Of course I was mugged by a monkey.
Great.Tell it to America.We're back in five.
No.No.No.Not back in five.I wasn't mugged by a monkey.
Okay, that's it.I'm getting a gun.
No, no.Don't get a gun.I was mugged by a monkey.
Well, then, Bobo here is going away.
Wasn't.I wasn't mugged by a monkey.
Ted, do you have any idea if Marshall was mugged by a monkey?
Just tell me, were you or were you not mugged by Captain Bobo?
Yeah, baby, just tell us what really happened.
Yeah, Marshall, just tell us the truth.
Come on, you promised.
And that's when Marshall realized there was only one thing he could say.
All right.Here's the truth.I am going back to bed.
And that was it.We never found out what really happened to Uncle Marshall's wallet.But we do know this.Aunt Lily never got a gun.Aunt Robin's credibility remained unimpeached.And Bobo and Milly lived out their days together in the Central Park Zoo.
Damn it.All right, Ted, mike up.
Miked up and made up.Red leather, yellow leather.
That wasn't very satisfying.When I tell everyone at work this story, I'm saying he was mugged by a monkey.And I'm gonna keep the banana-on-a-string thing.That was working.
Barney, enough with the lies.You can't just tack on a new ending because you're not satisfied with how a story wraps up.
Oh, really? Well, mark my words, Mosby.Someday, you'll be telling this story, and you'll see it my way.
And then, kids, you'll never believe what happened.
The monkey got loose.
He's got one of my dolls!
Bobo, come here, Bobo.Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.He's climbing the building.Bobo, come here.
I'll get him.
Is this really happening?
Sure is, Ted.