ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Let's head back, guys."

‹A‚é

ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“8yŒ´‘čzThe Bro Mitzvah

This is your bachelor party? You're engaged again, less than a year after we broke up? Is it Robin?

Now, hold on. You're not the only one with questions here. You didn't vet the stripper?!

vet Œľ‚ľ‚­‹á–Ą‚ˇ‚é

Well, I'm glad you're so happy. After we broke up, I had to move out of the city, my car got totaled, and I had to go back to stripping just to pay rent. It's like everywhere I look, my life is a dead-end.

totaled ŠŽ‘S‚É”j‰ó‚ł‚ę‚˝

Wow. I am... I'm so sorry, Quinn. So, how does this work? Do you give me a private show, or does everyone...?

I am not stripping for you.

Whoa, whoa! I was promised boobs.

Oh, Ralph, if you want, I can...

Lily.

Is that the Karate Kid?

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

No!

He's a lot like Barney, huh?

You take that back, madam. I am nothing like Ralph Macchio!

Okay, okay. I'll tell you what. I am going to strip for everyone here except Barney. And I'm gonna make it dirty.

Yeah, um, I'm the bachelor. Kind of no stripping without the lap of honor. Back me up, bros.

Hey, Robin.

Hey, sweetie, having fun at your bachelor party?

No.

Good, 'cause my night's been hell!

And that's the inverted chimney sweep, the last of the 17 basic sexual positions. Now, bondage...

invert ‹t‚É‚Č‚é chimney sweep ‰Œ“Ë‘|œl

Stop! I'm not a virgin! My napkin ring has seen plenty of breadsticks. And one baguette. I dated a center for the Knicks.

Oh, thank God you're not a prude. Now we can really talk. Four cosmos, pronto!

prude i—‚Ô‚Á‚˝—Ť pronto ‚ˇ‚Ž‚É

Now she's drunk, holding up a napkin ring and three breadsticks, and talking about her night with Crosby, Stills and Nash.

Waiter, can I have another breadstick?

And Young. Please come back.

Okay. I'll be there soon.

Real nice.

So beautiful.

I think we really did it.

I think we did it, you know?

You didn't miss a thing.

Oh, Quinn?

Yeah?

You got a little... something.

Oh! Oh.

Let's head back, guys. This night has been completely half-assed.

You obviously missed the strip show.

Hey-oh!

Ted, this was my bachelor party. A man only gets two or three of these in his lifetime. And this is all you do for me? That's it, I'm calling it. Who needs a ride back to the city?

Oh. Oh, guys, wait, hold on, hold on. Drinking. A shot. Shooting. A gun. Shot, gun. Shotgun?

Man, it's crowded in here.

I know, it's like a clown car.

Well, I can make some room by grinding on Ralph's lap. ing! I-I meant, I meant sitting.

This is the worst bachelor party ever.

Man, my bachelor party was incr-- wait for it-- and I hope you're hungry, 'cause the second half of this word is-- edible! Incredible! Self-shake.

You take that back, clown. I am nothing like Ralph Macchio!

Yeah. You've got more in common with the clown, except his suit's more expensive.

Hey, yo!

I mean, what kind of loser has his bachelor party ten yards from A.C. and doesn't even gamble?

Oh. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Oh... oh, wait. Just a little more. Okay, sorry. Okay.

...bro mitzvah!

Kids, I'll skip over the gambling. Like I said, it was a complicated game. Although your old man did pick it up pretty quickly.

Hey!

You just won 300 bucks!

I just lost $5,000.

Oh, right. 'Cause the chicken. Yep, that-that's $5,000, yeah.

See, I'm laughing because you couldn't see me take my top off, but I just saw you lose your shirt.

Hey-yo!

We have to go back.

Loser! Sorry, that was a real sneeze. Might have made you miss what I was saying. Loser! Loser.

We're not going anywhere. I can still make this night legendary. Uh, uh... Oh, oh. Okay, I got some credit. I just... mm... Marshall, stand over there for good luck?

Oh, sure.

Okay, okay.

Oh! Oh! You crazy son of a bitch, you did it!

I just lost $80,000.

Oh, right, right, yeah. 'Cause the black jelly bean. That-That's $80,000. He's right.

You know, Ralph, earlier at the salon, I waxed on, then waxed off. Everywhere.

Uh, listen, lady, your husband is, like... Hey, where is your husband?

Marshall? Where's Marshall?!

Okay, Lily, don't overreact, but...

Oh, oh. Okay, I got some credit. Marshall, stand over there for good luck?

Oh, sure.

You sold my husband?!

Lily, can you be more like the Chinese mobster and give me some credit? I'm going back for Marshall; I just need to get some money. You have nothing to worry about; these are the good mobsters.

Wow, what kind of bozo does that to a friend?

Shut it, Ralph Macchio!

No, you shut it! Ralph Macchio's right, you are a bozo.

Um, I think they prefer people of bright color.

You know what a bachelor party's about? Hanging out with your friends and having a good time. But you only care about the good time, not the friends. So you know what? I'm-I'm done caring about you then. I'm out of here.

Ted... Ted, Ted, I have...

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