Lilly:So, what made you change your mind about Stella?
Ted:Well, I was in the cab, and the car was coming at me, and you know how they say that your whole life flashes before your eyes in a near-death experience? It doesn't. You don't see everything. Just the things you love. I realized in that moment that Stella is the most important thing in my life and I have to get her back.
Robin:Very sweet. Very romantic. Not a miracle.
Marshall:July 1999. Kennedy Airport.
Gurd1:So, did you enjoy Amsterdam?
Marshall:No. Nothing illegal. Just a paintings.
Gurd1:All right, Bob Marley.Let's have a conversation.
Gurd2:Shift change. Oh, Amsterdam. All right. Float on through, brother.
Barney:Don't you go into the light! Don't you do it!
Doctor:Hey, Mosby, you got a visitor.
Ted:Can you guys, uh, give us a minute? Stella, before you say anything. I love you.
Stera:I love you, too.
Ted:Can we just forget about.
just forget about it 気にしないで下さい
Stera:It's forgotten. Is this your chart?
Stera:Okay. Uh-huh. Everything looks good. I think you can handle it.
Marshall:This morning he dumped her and now she's dry-humping him on a hospital bed. Miracle!
dry-humping =dry fuck 服を着たままのセックス
Robin:Yeah, you know, I bet if you call up the Vatican, they will tell you that most of their certified miracles involve dry-humping so.
Marshall:April 2008. Lily's kindergarten classroom.
Lilly:You're gonna go in there and beg for your old job back? That's crazy. You hated it there.
Marshall:I know, the job market is just really bad right now. Hey, kids, who wants Uncle Marshall to get his old job back?
Lilly:They'll cheer for anything if you say it like that. Kids, a super tanker spilled five million gallons of oil off the coast of Alaska this morning!
Marshall:Mr.Hewitt, I came here to apologize.
Lilly:I'm going to go grab some more glue. Will you watch them for a sec?
Marshall:Leaving Nicholson, Hewitt, and West was a huge mistake, and I can see that now.
Marshall:So who wants to see the big guy put on these tiny hats?
Marshall:My behavior was disrespectful. It was unprofessional.
Marshall:I'm a pilgrim. I know it looks like I have a tiny hat, but in reality, I have an abnormally large head!
Marshall:I was going through a stressful time. I wasn't getting enough sleep.
Marshall:Fourscore and seven years ago, I had a great, big giant head!
Marshall:I had just bought an apartment, and there were some problems. I don't want to bore you with the details.
Marshall:I only regret that I have but one giant head to give for my country.
Marshall:Sir, if you could just see your way into giving me one more chance, I promise.
Mr.Hewitt:Marshall. I'm willing to give this a second chance. I remember my first years as an attorney. Why, I don't know how many hours I spent. I don't think I ever left.
Marshall:Oh, my God! I have lice. Those little bastards gave me lice. God, it itches. Don't scratch it. You'll look like a fool. You'll never get your job back. You can scratch, but just make it subtle. Okay, that's not working. Oh, sweet, sharp corner of the desk, how I long to rub my infested scalp against you.
Mr.Hewitt:You okay, Eriksen?
Marshall:Oh! Oh, yes, I'm good. I am good. Continue.
Marshall:Mind over matter. There are no lice in my hair laying eggs, burrowing into my scalp, eating their way all the way down to my brain!
Mind over matter 気力で乗り越える burrow 身を隠す
Marshall:I have lice!
Mr.Hewitt:Lice?! Lice! Get out! Get out of my office! We've got lice! Everybody out of the building.
Marshall:If it weren't for the lice, I would have gotten my job back, and I would have been working there when, two weeks later, the Securities and Exchange Commission came a-knocking. God sent those lice to my head like he sent the locusts to Egypt: to liberate me from corporate bondage. Miracle.
locust イナゴ liberate 解放する bondage 緊縛
Lilly:I'm just so glad you and Ted are back together.
Stera:Wait, um, what do you mean "back together?
Lilly:Well, you know, since you guys broke up.
Stera:What? Oh, no. It was just a small fight. That wasn't a breakup. Was that a breakup? Did he think that was a breakup?
Stera:Son of a bitch!
Stera:That was a breakup. Wasn't it? You broke up with me.
Stera:I didn't know that was a breakup.
Ted:Are you kidding? I said, "I feel awful. You said, We're good. Then you got up and left.
Stera:Yeah, I said, We're good, as in We're good. Like when the waiter comes around and asks if you want any more muffins, and you say, We're good.
Ted:Exactly, and I took that We're good to mean you didn't want any more metaphorical relationship muffins. This is crazy. Forget about all that. That was a whole life-changing car accident ago. I love you. I don't want to break up.
Stera:But you did. You did want to. If you had those feelings once, then you're going to have those feelings again, and you're going to keep on having them. And I can't count on that car to hit you every time you do.
Ted:What are you saying?
Stera:I'm saying you wanted your breakup, you got it.
Ted:What?! Stella, wait!
Stera:No, you know what, Ted? We're good.