ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"you take stock of your life"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“8yŒ´‘čzP.S. I Love You

Gordie Bellavoh.

Thanks again for the free donuts, eh? So, you up here visiting family?

No.I'm not Canadian.Not even a quarter Canadian on my father's side.Shut up.We're not talking "aboot" me-- about me.How long did you and Robin date?

Well, it wasn't really dating.We'd take a sixer of Labatts behind the hydro plant and she'd let me go under her parka over turtleneck.Summer love.

Was Robin obsessed with you?

No.No.Robin was way more into this guy named

Turk Grimsby.I hear Robin was obsessed with you?

No.We only went out a few times, barely knew each other.All we talked about was her relationship with her mother, the gnawing feelings of inadequacy, all the horrible secrets on that side of the family.But heck, you're her fiance.You know all that, right?

gnawing •s‰ő‚Č inadequacy •s“KŘ

Yeah.

Robin was way more into this other guy.Can't seem to remember his name.Though sometimes a powdered jelly can help get the old noodle going.Ah His name's

Simon Tremblay.I should have known.

Eh.Thanks for the free donuts.

They're just donuts! Okay? They're like two for a loonie-- dollar.What's happening?

Oh, somebody moosed down all the jellies.Have you been hanging out with Turk Grimsby?

moosed down —Ž‚ż’…‚˘‚˝

So how serious were you and Robin?

Well, serious enough to pop the question.

pop the question ƒvƒƒ|[ƒY‚ˇ‚é

Wow.Really?

Yeah, sure.Got down on one goalie pad, I said, "Robin, could we keep dating but I get to stick it to other babes?" Turned me down.

get down on ”ń“‚é

I'm so sorry.

Oh, that's okay.I really wanted to stick it to Louise Marsh.Still, as the years pass, and you take stock of your life, part of me wishes I could've kept sticking it to Robin, too.

take stock of •]‰ż‚ˇ‚é

So are you the one that Robin stalked?

Oh, that story goes back to the 1996 Grey Cup.

What in God's name is that?

Only Canada's Super Bowl.Didn't you ever see Underneath the Tunes on MuchMusic?

Again, I have to go with: what in God's name is that?

It's only Canada's VH1 Behind the Music.There's one all about Robin Sparkles.Tells you the whole story from "A" to zed.Are you gonna take your?

Kids, relationships are built on trust.So unlike Uncle Barney, I wasn't gonna keep digging and digging

Did you start a fire?

Ugh This is embarrassing.I wasn't gonna tell you this, but I'd come so far, only to be sent packing by that security guard, and well I'm sorry.I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you.

Could not stand the idea of not meeting me.

She set a fire, Ted! Dahmer.

You're just jealous 'cause Lily never burned anything for you.

Clearly you never tried her pot roast.

I actually brought this for something totally different, but it worked out, right? Okay, anyway, here's my thing.Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my back pocket the answer to the question "Who was Robin obsessed with?" Hang on tight.It's Robin Sparkles 4, y'all!

With her jelly bracelets, graffiti coat, and totally rad robot, no one symbolized the 1990s in Canada like Robin Sparkles.But as we'd all learn one heartbreaking Grey Cup Sunday, Canada's sweetheart had a dark side.

I'll never forget that moment.

A little piece of Canada died that day.

To see her throw her life away like that it was heartbreaking.

I am so happy right now.

I want to see her throw her life away so badly.

Yeah.

We're all terrible people-- turn it up.

Sparkles' hit records Let's go to the mall and Sandcastles in the sand both went maple with "Mall" eventually going double maple.

I never admitted this till now, but before a big game, I'd listen to "Sand Castles in the Sand" and get a good cry on.I'm not ashamed.

But after endless touring, Robin started to crack.

Who doesn't love the mall? Shopping with your friends and I can't do this.Get this out of my face, please.Thank you, pardon me, thanks, sorry.

Even when Canadians are mean, they're polite.

Her record producer Chuck "Chuck" Gerusi.

Robin Sparkles was big.Gino Vannelli big, who I discovered by the way.

Robin's next song, P.S.I Love You, was so dark Dominant Records refused to release it.Few have ever seen the long-lost music video, but we found it.

You, you're beautiful On your pedestal. I see you You don't see me Am I just too young Or just too dumb Or maybe just too grungy And I'm wearing my flannel and I'm thinking of you I lace up my boots And I'm thinking of you

This is the most 1990s music video of all time.

All it needs is a shirtless old man in black and white for no reason.

I'll never move on, it'll always be you Every guy that I'm with, I'll be thinking of you If I get married, he'll always be second to you

That's got to feel good.

I'll always be waiting for you P.S. I love you.

In 1996, we booked the halftime show for the Grey Cup.Huge gig.We're talking Ivor Wynne Stadium in Hamilton, just outside of Guelph.It doesn't get any bigger than that.

Hello, Canada.I'm Robin Sparkles.Oh.Actually I was Robin Sparkles.

The whole stadium went silent.

Right then, I knew something terrible was gonna happen.My stomach started churning.

churning “Ž—h‚ˇ‚é

But Robin Sparkles is dead.

All I could hear was Paul Shaffer's stomach growling.

Stress goes to my stomach-- sue me.

It was kind of disgusting.

I'm sorry, Jason Priestley, I didn't realize you were the Queen of England.

My new name is Robin Daggers! Two, three, four! You, you're beautiful

That day is now known in music history as the day grunge was born.

In 1996, in Canada? That seems right, Trebek.

Give him a break, he's not a music guy.

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You, you're beautiful On your pedestal. I see you You don't see me Am I just too young Or just too dumb Or maybe just too grungy And I'm wearing my flannel and I'm thinking of you I lace up my boots And I'm thinking of you.

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I'll never move on, it'll always be you Every guy that I'm with, I'll be thinking of you If I get married, he'll always be second to you

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I'll always be waiting for you P.S. I love you.

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