Barney is crazy if he thinks this is gonna work.
I think it's gonna work.
I hope it doesn't work.
Here he comes.
You there, what's your name?
Your name, woman, what's your name?!
I knew it. You're the Cindy, the one who can change everything, or spell our inevitable doom. Now listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson, and I am on an urgent mission from the future.
inevitable doom 避けられない運命 urgent 緊迫の
The future, and I can prove it to you. In exactly four seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man.
What the hell?
In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet, You need to sleep with him tonight.
Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, in whatever way he wants it, or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race.
What are you talking about?
I have no time to explain. I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away!
Okay, guys, the movers are coming in 14 hours.We gotta get back upstairs and finish packing.
You guys still aren't finished packing?How is this taking so long?
Hey, all the great memories of our 20s took place in that apartment.It's not like throwing stuff in a box.You start to reminisce.
Not me.The key?Throw stuff out and never look back.I'm moving to Japan.It took me a half hour to pack.
A half hour?
Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears.
Moving is really emotional, okay?
It is.I mean, everything is changing.I'm gonna be living in New Jersey with Stella, you guys will be in your new place.You're starting a new job in Tokyo.It's the end of an era.I think we should have a toast, but not our usual crap.Hey Wendy, your most expensive bottle of scotch.
That's 50-year-old Glen McKenna, and it's $2,500.
Excellent.A bottle of that with beer chasers, and what do you think, cancel the scotch?
It's not gonna work.
Oh, my God!You're Oh, my God!Can I buy you a drink?
I suppose I have time for one drink and of some other activity, but after that, I have to get back to a top-secret research project I'm working on.
My God, how did you know that?
Hey, look at this.A photo from the first day we moved into this place.So many great memories.
See?That is exactly the type of crap you should be trashing.
So you don't keep any photos?
No, they're like love letters or yearbooks or someone's ashes, they just take up space.Besides, Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk.
Why wouldn't she?
Ted, oh, sweetie.Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman.All of your stuff is stupid.
Like anything you bought at a Renaissance faire.
There's not enough mead in the world to make me get rid of my flail.
Since we're clearly not getting our security deposit back, I thought maybe you could reimburse me for my half.
Wait a second, why should I have to pay more than you?
Because you treated this apartment the way John Bonham treated his central nervous system.
That's not true.
A 1986 world book encyclopaedia.It's exactly the one I grew up with.
You think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia.It's a common mistake.But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here Encyclopaedia, you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the anglo-saxon rune
You know, you're gonna have to pay dia for that.
squish 押しつぶす ligature 合字
But you never did and then, there's exhibit b.
Good morrow, fair gentles.Look what I won at the renaissance faire.
And you're also responsible for any damage Robin did when she was your girlfriend.
What damage did I cause?
Do you remember that night when you drank the 12'er of Molson and you got all super canadian?
Stanley cup, game six A.The Rangers are about to be sorry They ever played shinny with the Canucks.
Hey, hey, Robin.
I'll give you 20 bucks if you can shoot it through this front door.
You're nuttier than a Tim Horton's maple log.
That's it, Robin.Give me the stick.
I'll give you summer teeth.Some are here, some are there.
summer teeth 歯並びが悪い
Robin, give me the stick.
Take off, hoser.
Guys, come on!
All right, break it, break it up!
Ted, no!You never break up a girl fight!Never!
Entirely Barney's fault.As, by the way, is the big scorch mark over the fireplace.
Kids, to understand the story of the scorch mark, I first need to tell you the story of the intervention for our friend Stewart.
What's going on?
Stewart, this is an intervention.
The alcohol changes you, Stewart.It makes you a different person.And I'm in love with the man that I married.
Thank you.This is just the push I need.I love you guys.
Hey, hey!There's the birthday boy.Time to let the party monster out of its cage, Stewie!
Come on, buddy.People don't want to see Bruce Banner, dude.They want to see the hulk.Hulk, hulk, hulk what?That's what I get for skimming the e-vite.