ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"If you must know"

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ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“3yŒ´‘čzThird Wheel

Barney: So, ladies, why don't we move this party to a more horizontal location?

Blonde Girl: Oh my God. My new carpet. Oh my God, this is a disaster, You get the carpet cleaner, I'll get a towel.

disaster Đ“ď

Brunette Girl: OK.

Barney: I'll get the video camera.

Blonde Girl: Get out!

Barney: OK then.

Ted: Let me get this straight. You're gonna trike block me? That is so petty. It's like you're...

Marshall: Tom Petty.

Ted: Tom Petty. You're Tom Petty.

Ted: Where's Lily?

Ted: Still looking for that CD, so...

Ted: What are you doing?

Lily: I knew it. I had a hunch about that girl and I was right.

Lily: I saw it first.

Lily: You just made the list, bitch.

Lily: I cannot give up my bedroom to a boot thief. She should be punished, not rewarded.

Ted: Fine, then I'll try to work in a little light spanking. Just do this for me.

Lily: No, never.

Ted: What if I reimburse you for the boots, full retail?

reimburse •Ô‹ŕ‚ˇ‚é full retail ’艿

Lily: Thanks, enjoy our bedroom.

Ted: OK, take it.

Ted: Wish me luck.

Barney: Oh my God.

Robin: Where's the shaving cream?

Waitress: Well, you didn't ask me for shaving cream.

Robin: Well, it was implied. Who buys a razor without buying shaving cream?

implied ˆĂ–Ů‚Ě

Waitress: Well, who doesn't shave their legs for her date?

Robin: Well, who's not getting a tip because of her attitude?

Waitress: Well, here's a little tip for you. Shave your legs before you leave the house, Sasquatch.

Robin's date: Hey Robin, the valet's brought the car around. I thought we'd go back to my place. You in the mood for a night cap?

Robin: Absolutely. I just have to go to the ladies room. I've got TB...tiny bladder. I'll meet you out front?

bladder äNă÷

Robin's date: Yeah.

Robin: You've gotta be kidding me.

Robin: Excuse me.

Ted: So, I'm having a little trouble finding the CD.

Rachel: That's OK, we don't need music to have fun.

Ted: Exactly.

Trudy: You do like to have fun, don't you Ted?

Ted: It's getting late, I'll get your coats.

Lily: I'll get your coats?

Ted: I don't know why I said that. Why did I say that? It's the opposite of what I meant. I wanna take clothes off them, not put more on.

Marshall: Ted, you're ruining this for everyone.

Barney: Leave him alone! Sometimes even the greatest warriors shoot themselves in the foot.

shoot oneself in the foot •ćŒŠ‚đŒ@‚é

Lily: What are you talking about?

Barney: If you must know, it wasn't a freak beverage malfunction that stopped me from riding the tricycle that night. (flashback to Barney sitting on the ground of a living with two girls) Blonde

If you must know ŒN‚Ş‚Ç‚¤‚ľ‚Ä‚ŕ’m‚č‚˝‚˘‚Ě‚Č‚ç malfunction Œë“Žě‚ˇ‚é

Girl: So, Barney, why don't we take this party to a more horizontal location?

Barney: Oh no, the night's ruined!

Brunette Girl: No, baby, it's not.

Barney: Yes it is. Whatever this night was heading towards is ruined. Where's my coat?

Marshall: Why would you do that to yourself?

Barney: Because you get up in your head, man. Start thinking, I can't do this. It's two women. That's two of everything, four of some things. The logistics alone are enough to cripple even a pro like me.

cripple •sŽŠ—R‚É‚ˇ‚é

Ted: See? If a complete degenerate like Barney choked, what chance do I have?

degenerate ‘މť‚ˇ‚é

Barney: The best chance in the world. Fear took the belt from me. Fear rode the tricycle that night, my friends. But fear will not get a second turn.

Ted: It won't?

Barney: No, because I now realize it isn't my destiny to win the belt. It is my destiny to help my friend win it. Ted is fated to go there first. He is our Neil Armstrong. Space-suit-up, Ted, 'cause you're going to the moon. Step 1.

Ted: Ladies, couldn't find your coats but I did find tequila.

Trudy,Rachel: Oh!

Ted: Wait, wait wait, a remote control fire place? We don't have a remote control fire place.

Barney: Right, that's my apartment. Dressing gown's mine too. Damn, this should be me. Anyway, continue.

Rachel: I am so exhausted.

Trudy: So exhausted.

Ted: Why would I want to tire them out?

tire out ”ć‚ę‚ł‚š‚é

Barney: That's your excuse to unleash pretext for physical contact number one.

unleash ”š”­‚ł‚š‚é pretext `‚đŒűŽŔ‚É‚ˇ‚é

Rachel: You give the most amazing foot massage.

Ted: It's 'cause I used to practice all the time on my grandmother.

Ted: Why in God's name would I say that?

Barney: It's endearing, you're a caregiver. Never take family values out of the equation. Step three.

endearing e‚ľ‚݂₡‚˘ caregiver ˘˜b‚đ‚ˇ‚él equation “ď‚ľ‚˘–â‘č

Trudy: Ted, what's wrong?

Ted: I was just thinking about this documentary I saw once about something called a supervolcano.

Ted: OK, what the hell.

Barney: OK, wait for it.

Ted: Could happen at any time and obliterate all life on earth, which is why I live by three simple words. Don't postpone joy.

obliterate Á‚ľ‹Ž‚é

Rachel: Oh my God.

Trucy: That's so true.

Ted: Yeah.

Ted: Mortality angle, that's actually pretty good. I can do this.

Mortality Ž¸”s—Ś

Barney: Yes you can.

Lily: I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I'm actually moved. Bring it in, guys.

Ted: All right.

Ted: I'll see you on the other side.

Barney: So, what happened next? Did you do it?

Ted: Doesn't seem right to talk about it.

Barney: What? No! Tell me. Don't tell me because you don't have to because you didn't do it.

Barney: You didn't do it. You did it. You did it, didn't you? Did you?

Barney: You didn't do it. Yes, you did. You did. No, you... Just tell me!

Ted: Some stories you tell, some stories you don't.

Barney: Because you didn't do it. He didn't do it. You did it, you did it, you did it. Tell me, did you?

Barney: Ted, belt.

Barney: Did you? Did you? Or didn't you?

Barney: Did? Tell me. You know if he did it?

Robin's date: Oh hey. Will you go in there and see if my date's OK?

Waitress: No problem.

Waitress: No, nobody's in there, but the window's actually open.

Robin's date: I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. I mean, she was acting weird all night, right?

Waitress: Yeah. You know...

Waitress: Why don't I buy you a drink?

Robin's date: OK.

Waitress: Did I overhear that you're a surgeon?

overhear —§‚ż•ˇ‚Ť‚ˇ‚é surgeon ŠO‰Čˆă

Robin's date: Guilty as charged. (Waitress laughs)

Waitress: You're so funny. (Robin runs out of ladies room)

Robin: I'm here, I'm fine, my head is bleeding. Going down again.

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