George: You're a big kids person, huh?
Robin: Only the biggest ever. I think kids are so great. Especially the little ones. You know, uh, pudgy, can't sit up, don't have teeth yet.
Robin: Yeah, I like that kind.
George: Well, Doug's almost six.
Robin: Oh, six is great. You are gonna love six. Six is when they really start to...I hate kids.
George: Excuse me, what?
Robin: I mean, I don't hate kids. I'm just not a kid person. I mean, yeah, it's cute that their shoes are real little, but beyond that, what's the draw? You must think I'm nuts.
George: What? No no no. So you don't like kids, so what? I'm not looking for a mother for Doug. Why don't we just hold off on you meeting him?
Robin: Yeah, let's take things slow.
Narator: And, kids, that's exactly what she did.
Narator: Then on a totally different day that was definitely not the next morning, Aunt Robin had to face her worst fear.
Lily: Hey, what's up?
Robin: It's here, Lily. It's looking at me. The kid, what do I do?
Lily: Just talk to him. You can do this, Robin.
Doug: Who are you?
Robin: I'm Robin.
Doug: That's a bird's name.
Robin: No it's not. It's actually a type of bird.
Doug: My friend, Patrick, has a parakeet named Robin, so there. You wanna talk in Morse code?
Robin: Dude, I'm just reading my paper.
Doug: Beep, beep beep beep, beep beep, beeeep. I'm starving. Can you make me cereal?
Doug: What are you doing? You're supposed to pour milk first?
Robin: What? No, you pour the cereal first so you know how much milk you need.
Doug: It tastes better milk first.
Robin: It all tastes the same once it's in the bowl.
Doug: Why are you wearing my dad's pants?
Robin: Milk first it is.
Doug: What are you reading?
Robin: The business section. The Fed's gonna lower rates again to bail out these subprime lenders, bunch of idiots.
Doug: Miss Aldrin says it's not nice to call people names.
Robin: Well, maybe if they weren't such idiots, I wouldn't have to call them that.
Doug: That's what I said. You're pretty cool.
Robin: You too.
Narator: Meanwhile, Stacy and I had started dating. Oh, Stacy was the girl from the bar. Anyway, I was close to winning the bet when something unexpected happened, I started to really like her.
Ted: Well, have fun in yoga.
Ted: She's strengthening her core. That's gonna be good.
Ted: Yeah, all right. After a while, crocodile.
Ted: You see this. Game face.
Barney: Whatever, Ted.
Ted: Oh, get this, she plays bass in a reggae band. They're having a show this Friday. How cool is that?
Barney: Oh, does she know that one song? Mm-hm chaka, mm-hm chaka. What's that song called? Oh, right, it's called every reggae song.
Marshall: I am not irrelevant. I ran the numbers. If Lily and I have sex twice a week, which, let's be honest, we all know is being conservative. And we've been together for ten years plus seventeen more times on the honeymoon. Minus the two week drought when I said the checker at the grocery store reminded me of a young Lily. Then we have had sex a total of...wait for it...
irrelevant 見当違いの run the numbers ナンバー賭博を運営する conservative 保守的な人
Marshall: One thousand fifty-three and a half times...my mom called once. But that's more times than Barney has ever had sex and to your point, Ted, Lily is a quality girl. I win. Lawyered.
Barney: Doesn't count.
Marshall: Totally counts.
Ted: You're right, it counts. It counts as one. You've had sex once. How was it?
Marshall: I still matter.
Barney: OK, Ted, go win the bet. You have my blessing. She's a wonderful girl. I should know.
have the blessing of 〜の祝福を受ける
Ted: Oh, OK, OK, I see what you're doing.
Barney: We've never shared a woman, have we, Ted? Isn't that funny? You're with her now, I was with her a year ago. You figure for her, that's like 200 showers ago. You gotta ask yourself, Ted, is 200 enough?
figure for 〜に関する案を立てる
Ted: You know what, I don't mind.
Barney: No, of course you don't mind. Just like the second guy to climb Mt. Everest didn't mind getting all the way to the top only to find Sir Edmund Hilary's flagpole thrust into its supple peak.
Barney: No, I'm sure when you're with her I'll be the furthest thing from your mind. Kissing what I've already kissed. Nuzzling what I've already nuzzled. Going on what I've already gone on.
Ted: Barney, I'm not afraid of catching your cooties, OK?
Barney: Really? Ted's not afraid of cooties. OK, well then I guess you'd have no problem having a sip of my gin and tonic.
Barney: And I only stirred that with my pinky.
Robin: Guess who loves Robin? Kids, kids love Robin. Doug thinks I'm pretty cool.
Lily: Really, that's great. You and George, all thanks to me.
Robin: Yeah, I'm gonna have to break up with him.
Robin: Well, tt's just getting a little bit too serious with the kid. You know, it's just not what I'm looking for. So, better that I break it off now before he gets too attached.
Lily: I hate to tell you this but, too late.
Lily: He drew it in class today.
Robin: Oh crap.
Robin: There's no way that's a picture of me. That woman has on hoop earrings, I don't even own hoop earrings. I have one pair and they're gold. Those are Fruit Loops.
Lily: You are so in denial right now. And you're doing what you always do in relationships. The second you get close to a guy, you wanna bail. OK, granted, he's six, but the point stands.
Robin: We'll ask the guys. They'll tell you that's not me.
Marshall: That's totally you.
Robin: You guys are totally crazy.
Ted: Hey, who drew the picture of Robin?
Robin: It's not me.
Marshall: You're joking, right?
Robin: It's not me.
Ted: "My new mommy." Kinda has a nice ring to it.
Marshall: Hey, now that you're a mom, are you gonna start wearing those totally awesome jeans that go right up to your boobs?
Robin: Do guys really think this is me?
Lily: Honey, it's you. And if you're gonna break up with George, you have to break up with his kid too.
Lily: Yeah, you can't just abandon him. You have to talk to him. Come on, Robin, you know it's the right thing to do.
Robin: Man. Doug was right, you are a pain in the ass.
pain in the ass イライラさせる