Lily: Marshall just ditched out on our own party. Can you get me in there? I kind of need to kill him.
ditch out〈俗〉逃げる kind of で断定を避ける
Robin: Actually, I can't even get myself in. I was such a dork. I get recognized one time and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts. I'm no VIP. I'm not even an IP. I'm just a lowly little P sitting out here in the gutter.
dork ばか、あほ lowly 身分の低い sitting out 長居する
Lily: You know something; I'd take a pee in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day.
take a pee 小便する
Ted: There's Barney. I'm leaving.
Marshall: Broke my tooth.
Marshall:...Do you have...
Barney: Maybe theres...
Barney: a machine in...
Barney: the restroom.
Narrator: Now to this day, I don't know what happened in there. But when Marshall came out a few minutes later.
Coat Check Girl: Rough night?
Ted: Yeah, these clubs are supposed to be fun, right? Why do I hate them so much?
Coat Check Girl: Because all of the stuff you're supposed to like... usually sucks. Like these clubs or cruises.
Ted: Or New Year's Eve.
Coat Check Girl: Or the Super Bowl.
Ted: Or parades.
Coat Check Girl: The rockettes.
Ted: Or parades.
Coat Check Girl: You said that already.
Ted: I really hate parades.
Lily: He just left in the middle of our own party, you don't do that. Unless, of course, you're chasing after somebody who's already done it, and then I think it's okay.
Robin: Well, I hate to take his side... but come on, a wine tasting? What's the big plan for next Saturday, Scrabble night?
Lily: Don't check your email.
Robin: Why are you becoming this person? I heard that in college you flashed a campus tour group on a dare.
flash （しばしば公共の場で）下着や陰部をちらっと見せる do 〜 on a dare from （人）にけしかけられて〜をする
Lily: Once on a dare. The other times were just for fun. I'm not in college anymore. I'd love to go back and be that person again, but you can't move backwards. you can only go forward.
Robin: Um, false... you can go wherever you want. I guess the question is where do you want to go?
Lily: I want to go into this club and find my fiance.
Robin: Well that you can't do.
Lily: You wanna bet? Follow my lead. Hey, big guy. I said follow my lead.
Phil: "Follow my lead".
Bradley: Please, please, please.
Bradley: Those were the four greatest and only breasts I have ever seen.
Coat Check Girl: Yeah, see, if everyone keeps telling you something is supposed to be fun, it's usually not.
Coat Check Girl: Right!
Ted: So, by that logic, if you and I were to, say, go out on a date.
Coat Check Girl: Then we couldn't go anywhere that's supposed to be fun.
Ted: Right. The DMV it is.
Coat Check Girl: Then we'll get our teeth cleaned.
Ted: Sounds awful, it's a date.
Coat Check Girl: Okay.
Ted: But there's still one big question that needs to be answered. How many of these coats do you think I could put on all at once?
Lily: I'll go this way, you go that way.
Chris: Okay, for the wedge.
Barney: Ted, get your coat, we're leaving.
Ted: What? What happened to that, uh, cutlet you were grinding with?
Barney: That was my cousin, Leslie.
Barney: No, no, no... we are not laughing about this, Ted. This is not gonna be some funny story that we'll be telling in a couple months. It's not going to be like, "Hey, remember that time when you were grinding with... NO! And you know why? Because, italics, this night did not happen. And you promise me that you will never, ever, ever tell another living soul what transpired here tonight. You promise. Promise
italics 引用を意味する transpire 起こる
Ted: Alright, I promise. Let's get Marshall and go, okay. Hey. Thanks for saving my night. I'll talk to you soon? Umm, hey... tip her, Barney.
Barney: Why, I didn't check a coat. And even if I did, on principle tip jars have become so...
Ted: Funny story, Barney was grinding with this girl all night...
Barney: FINE! Just... eh.
Ted: That's a handy new trick.
Narrator: So, Marshall and Lily rediscovered their youth. It was nice, and then it got icky.
Barney, Ted and Robin: Eww.
Ted: I'm really glad you guys came out tonight.
Marshall: You know, dude, can I just say something? It kind of hurt that you guys didn't invite me out. I mean, I know things have changed since I got engaged, but it would have been nice to be asked!
Ted: I'm sorry! I assumed you...
Barney: They played some good songs tonight!
Ted: Had other plans. I mean lately...
Marshall: I know, I know. It just seems like suddenly we're living in two different worlds. Maybe you've got more in common with Barney.
in common with 〜と同じように
Ted: Are you crazy? You think I like going to those clubs? I'd so much rather go to your fruity little wine tasting.
Lily: Oh, my god...I'm gonna barf. Where's my purse, where's my purse? I'm okay.
barf 吐く purse ハンドバッグ
Ted: The problem is, you can't do any of that couple stuff unless you have someone to do it with, and the only way I'm gonna find that someone is by going out and doing stupid single stuff with Barney.
Ted: But, man, when I find her, we're gonna have some bad-ass wine tastings.
Marshall: It's a plan. Hey, maybe it'll be that cute coat check girl.
Ted: Yeah! Maybe it will be.
Narrator: It wasn't.
Marshall: You know, Ted, I don't say this nearly enough, but I really...
Barney: That place has great salads!