Narator: Kids, your uncle Barney had been called a lot of names over the years.
Girl 1: Jerk!
Girl 2: bastard!
Girl 3: Barack Obama Jr.?!
Barney: Mm-hmm. And yes... we can.
Narator: But there's one name none of us ever expected to hear him called.
Robin: Boyfriend. Barney Stinson is my boyfriend. I've said it, like, a hundred times it still sounds weird to say.
Ted: Well, anything sounds weird if you say it a hundred times. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl.
Lily: But other than that, things are good?
Ted: Bowl. Bowl.
Robin: I don't know. I think Barney's been single for too long. Like, the other night, I wake up at 4:00 a.m
Robin: Barney, are you awake? Barney? Barney. This is not a one-night stand. We're dating. Come back to bed.
Robin: That's happened three times. And it's not just that, it's other things.
Barney: Hey. What's wrong?
Robin: It was just one thing after another at work today, and then... I found out my aunt's in the hospital. I'm just, I'm feeling so overwhelmed and it's just...
one thing after another 次から次へと overwhelmed 困惑した
Barney: Shh, shh, shh. What you need to do is talk through this stuff.
Robin: Oh, thanks.
Barney: And then, once you're off the phone with Lily, I'll be down in the bar ready to have sex. Mm-kay?
Robin: Look, I'm not the touchy-feely-est person in the world, but... a little more effort would be nice.
Ted: Bowl. Bowl.
Robin: I understand.
Lily: I guess, in a lot of ways, Barney doesn't stack up.
stack up 積み重ねる
Ted: Bowl. Bowl.
Lily: I mean, you've had some pretty incredible boyfriends.
Ted: Bowl. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl.
Robin: No, that's not it. I don't know. Maybe he just doesn't have it in him. Maybe is whole thing's a big mistake.
Barney: She really said that?
Ted: And she meant it. Trust me. I dated Robin for a year-- if you don't want to lose her, you gotta try a little harder. Be more attentive to where she is emotionally. You know, just be present.
Barney: Yes, totally. Yeah. Only thing, and this is just me--
Barney: I like my testicles attached to my body, rather than rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out!
Narator: But then a funny thing happened. Over the next couple weeks, Barney was thoughtful, considerate, sweet. In short, the perfect boyfriend. Which, to Robin, meant only one thing.
Robin: He's cheating on me.
Robin: Why else would he buy me flowers? He's gettin' some on the side.
on the side コソコソと
Lily: Oh, come on, Robin. Barney's not the type of guy who would... Go on.
Robin: Plus, he keeps saying he's working late. But when I call his office, they say he left hours ago.
Lily: Well, that doesn't prove anything.
Robin: Yes. Proof. Go word. I'm glad you brought that up. Barney's briefcase. He forgot it here this morning.
Lily: And what do you plan on doing with it?
Robin: We, we-- you and I-- are going to open it up and look for evidence. Ted probably has a sledgehammer around here somewhere.
Lily: No! Stop! Stop! Eye contact. Listen to me. Robin Scherbatsky is many things: friend, confidant, occasional guest star in some confusing dreams that remind me a woman's sexuality is a moving target. But she is no crazy, jealous stalker-bitch. Let go.
Marshall: Hey, I've been down in the basement storage area going through all the stuff that Lily and I left behind when we moved out. I'm sorry, Robin. We should've cleared it out for you much sooner.
Robin: There's a basement storage area?
Marshall: Oh, you're not upset. Good. Baby, guess what I found.
Lily: Oh, that's great, honey.
Robin: What the hell is that?
Lily: Marshall got it in college. He used it as a nightstand for years.
Marshall: Until we found out that Lily was allergic to barrel resin
barrel 樽 resin 松脂
Robin: Barrel resin?
Lily: Just go with it.
Robin: So you need a hand throwing it out?
Marshall: No, I'm not... I'm not just going to throw her out, okay? Mabel's like family.
Robin: So, um, what are you gonna do with Mabel?
Marshall: I want to give her away, um, to a lucky new owner. Do you know anyone?
Robin: Yeah, hmm, let me think. Do I know any rodeo clowns? Oh, that's weird, I do. But even Lenny wouldn't go near that mess.
Marshall: Well, he's not going to have the chance, because I am putting old Mabel in the Bermuda Triangle.
Narator: The Bermuda Triangle was the name we'd given years earlier to the curb right in front of our building. Whenever we wanted to give something away, we'd put it right there. It was uncanny.
Marshall: This is so exciting. Right now there's some out there who has no idea that tonight they're going home with just... just the best barrel.
Robin: Well, let's just hope they're not allergic to barrel sin like Lily here.
Lily: Be cool, baby. Damn! See you, sweetie. Good luck.
Marshall: Bye, babe.
Lily: Now, can we please get out of here?
Robin: Yeah. I'll grab my coat. Oops.
Lily: A college notebook?!
Robin: Oh, my God, he's cheating on me with some college girl. I knew there was a skank but I thought she'd at least be dumb. "Birthday: July 23.Favorite hockey team: the Vancouver Canucks. Age: 29, but tells people that she's 26." Oh, my God,these are notes about me. Or some 29-year-old version of me.
Marshall: I hope I'm not too late! I want to see the look of joy on the new owner's face! She's still there! Okay Mabel, let's find you a new home. Here comes a guy! And he... he just walked, walked right on by it. He's probably rushing home to get a handcart or something. Yeah! Hey, better hurry up, pal. What are you guys doing with Barney's secret Robin notebook? Let me rephrase that. Did you two ladies lose some weight?
Robin: What do you know about this,Marshall? Why would Barney have a notebook full of information about me?
Narator: The truth was...Barney was taking a night school class taught... by me.
Ted: Welcome to Robin 101.