ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Ted is way off base coming after Dr.Sonya."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzThe Stinson Missile Crisis

Okay, survivors, today's reward challenge is brought to you by Dr.Barney Stinson's Free Breast Reduction Consultations.

survivor ˆâ‘°

That scam was so successful, it spawned a related enterprise.

spawn ś‚ś‚é

If you've been fooled by a well-endowed man who claimed to be a doctor offering free breast-reduction consultations, come see me, Arnie Linson, attorney-at-law, and join my class-action suit.If your giant breasts have been wronged, I can handle them it.

well-endowed ‹Ş‚Ě

I got 'em comin' and goin'!

I can't believe you go to so much trouble to get laid.

Yeah, sometimes I don't even have to shower.

Mama loves it musky.

musky ƒ}ƒXƒL[

I gotta shut down all these systems before Nora gets back.How am I gonna do all that in three days?

I'll help you.

Maybe you should write on your little chart there: "Patient selflessly tried to help a friend in need."

First of all, this is a crossword puzzle.Secondly, you were clearly planning on using those three days to steal Barney back.

I am his friend! How dare you! God, you think you're so smart just because you went to Harvard and then Princeton and then wow, Harvard again.Okay, yes, fine.I was I was trying to steal him back.

This is good.You're finally opening up and talking about yourself, not just what Marshall and Lily were up to.

Oh, yeah, so Marshall and Lily were folding laundry

That one's my fault.

You know Never mind.It's just Forget it.

Marshall, you're a grown-ass man.If you want to say something, just say it.

I feel bad for Ted! And if my mom were here, she would ask me what was wrong.

You feel bad for Ted?!

It's tough feeling like the third wheel.

Okay, first of all, I'm sure Ted's fine.

Who eats salt and pepper without cumin?

Second, Ted is way off base coming after Dr.Sonya.We love her! Right? Don't tell me you're doubting Dr.Sonya!

way off bas ‚Ü‚Á‚˝‚­“IŠO‚ę‚Ĺ

Just a little bit.

What's that thing?

Well, for some women, it was the ashes of my parents.For others, it was the trophy from Wimbledon.And believe it or not, for one busty dullard, it was both.Game, enormous set, match.

Hello? Oh, yeah, thanks for calling me back.Uh, Barney, It's Mitch from the Port Authority.

Port Authority Mitch.You'd always call me whenever a wide-eyed farm girl would get off the bus with big dreams of Broadway and no idea what a "casting director" could legally ask her to do, hold or lick during an audition.I'm sorry, old friend, your services are no longer needed.Oh, God, I can't believe I'm doing this over the phone! My love to Marge and the kids!

I know.Here.

I didn't realize this would be so hard!

I know, I know.But hey, you know what? We're almost through our checklist.Okay? Okay?

Okay.

Which reminds me, why am I calling a hair salon and saying, "Jack Fantastic is quitting"?

Sweetheart, it's like Maya Angelou keeps telling Oprah, and I keep telling you: When you know better, you do better.

Wow, you are so wise.I wish you were straight so I could date you.

Well as a matter of fact, I have an extremely attractive straight twin brother!

Oh, hi.I cropped that Halloween photo.It's just salt and pepper, now, so it looks ridiculous.

crop Ř‚čŽć‚é

Ted, I want you back on Team Baby.

What?

I knew you'd come around! Guys! I didn't really crop the photo! Plus Good news.I signed us up for a birthing class.

Well, that's insane.It's way too early for that, right, Marshall?

Okay, listen.I am the father of this child, and I vote that we go to the birthing class.

Absolutely not.

Okay, Lily.I hate to play this card but if you don't come to this class I'm withholding sex.

I don't think she's coming.

Yeah.I was a little suspicious when she had us take separate cabs.

Lily, don't do it!

Just a little bit.

Think about our baby!

You got to be kidding me, Robin.Get to the assault.

Okay, fine.So Barney and I were finishing packing his apartment

Okay.One last item on the checklist.Disconnect the Cold Call 5000.What the hell's that?

I was able to secure the customer database from a company that sells body glitter and high-end pasties.The Cold Call 5000 will dial every female client between the ages of 22 and 23, and leave the following message.

Hi, I know this is crazy, but I saw you on the subway, and I knew we were meant to be.If you believe in destiny, come to MacLaren's tonight and find me, Barney Stinson.Because I have this feeling that I'm supposed to be on you-with you.

Why not re-record it?

I did like a hundred takes.

It kept happening.I can't believe Lily's not coming! You know what? Screw it! Who says that two bros can't rock a birthing class?

Rock it!

Today, we'll be exploring "The Sensual Massage." Let's start by gently cupping our partner's hands and just breathe each other in.

Thanks, Robin.You're the only person I know who would help me do all that.You're a real bro.

Am I, though? 'Cause I'm really more of a woman.To my femininity.

Nah, you're more of a bro.You're a dude.You're a man.

Hey, you are flying solo one more night.How about I put on a smokin' hot dress, you slap a vest over that crime scene of a tie and we paint the town? I mean, when was the last time we got rip-roaring drunk in clothing that highlights our genders?

So, your plan was to be out on the town, dressed provocatively, drinking with another woman's man.Robin, this is our first session, and I know this is just one clinical opinion, but you a dawg!

provocatively ’§”­“I‚É

Yeah There was just one problem

Surprise!

I got back early!

Hey!

Let me guess, you got drunk under your desk again?

No, Mr.Harvard.I handled things a little differently

So, I suppose now you want me to talk about how it felt watching Barney and Nora walk off together, right?

I'd rather just skip ahead to the assault.My next patient thinks he's God.On the off chance that he's right, I really don't want to keep him waiting.

On the off chance –œ‚ވę‚̉”\Ť‚ÉŠú‘Ň‚ľ‚Ä

Well, right after they left, something crazy happened.

Excuse me, do you know where I can find Barney Stinson? He saw me on the subway and left me a message to meet him here.

Why not re-record it?

I did like a hundred takes.It kept happening.

Hi, I know this is crazy, but I saw you on the subway

He asked me if I believed in destiny.And I do.We are so meant to be.Where can I find him?

So I was faced with a moral dilemma.Unleash this nut bag on them or be a bigger person, and help my friend.

Barney's at Cafe L'Amour.

Awesome!

No, wait, wait, wait! Okay, this isn't right.Let's pop that top button, show off your gals.Ooh! Good luck, go get 'em!

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