ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I'm soory for your loss"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzFalse Positive

Narator: In December of 2010, my friends and I decided to go see It's a Wonderful Life on the big screen. It seemed like something we all needed. After all, it had been a crazy couple of days. It all started... With a pregnancy test.

Marshall: This is taking forever. Are you sure you did it right?

Lily: Is there a wrong way to pee on a stick?

Marshall: Hey, can I ask you a question that's plagued me for years? Can girls aim?

plague ”Y‚Ü‚ˇ

Lily: Um, can boys aim? 'Cause it seems to me like I'm taking a mop to that bathroom floor every two days.

Marshall: Okay, you're the one who put the Far Side calendar up over the toilet. You know I laugh with my whole body.

Lily: It's been two minutes.

Marshall & Lily: One, two, three.

Lily: It's positive.

Marshall: It's positive? It's positive.

Lily: I'm pregnant.

Robin: What?!

Barney: I've never seen that woman before in my life! Sorry. Force of habit. Congratulations!

Force of habit KŠľ

Robin: To Lily and Marshall.

Marshall: Well, thank you. I mean, we've never been happier. Can't imagine anything bringing me down right now.

Doctor: You're not pregnant.

Marshall: Well, that did it.

Narator: Kids, this is the story of the 36 hours we all thought Lily was pregnant, and how it caused each of us to reexamine our own lives. Because while this was happening...

reexamine ŒŠ’ź‚ˇ

Marshall: Are you sure you did it right?

Narator:...I was on the phone with Punchy, my best friend from high school, who had recently asked me to be his best man.

Ted: Hey, Punchy, I've given this some serious thought. I think I know how we can crush these floral arrangements.

Punchy: Ah, here it comes. Hit me up, Schmos!

Ted: Peonies, lavender blossoms with a halo of baby's breath for an ambiance of springtime rejuvenation.

Punchy: That's exactly the accent of whimsy this celebration of love needs!

whimsy ‹C‚Ü‚Ž‚ę

Ted: It's gonna be a magical day. I know what you're thinking. I wish I was a dude.

Robin: I do wish you were a dude.

Ted: Because if I was a dude, I could have Ted Mosby as my best man.

Robin: No, and here's why.,Ted, the best man's job is not to crush the floral arrangements. It's to get the groom down the aisle, because, no matter who he is, he will freak out. And I just don't think you have what it takes to get that get that soldier to pick up his rifle and charge up the hill.

Ted: Uh, are you forgetting I've done this before? I was Marshall's best man.

Robin: And how did that go again? Oh for one.

Ted: Oh, come on. That wasn't my fault. And need I remind you, I gave a beautiful toast.

Robin: Ted. Oh, do you take one to be your lawfully wedded wife? Oh, God, I'm freaking out. Why did I chose Ted to be my best man?

lawfully ł‚ľ‚­

Ted: Uh, yeah. It's hard to take criticism from someone who just recorded seven episodes of Million Dollar Heads or Tails.

criticism ”á•]

Narator: Kids, Million Dollar Heads or Tails was an extremely popular show with an extremely simple premise.

premise ‘O’ń

Animator: All right, your practice flip came up tails... But our Vegas oddsmaker tells us that the next toss is still just 50-50. And so, Jordan, for one million dollars......Heads... or tails?

Jordan: What was the year of the coin again?

Ted: Why this sudden obsession with Heads or Tails?

obsession ‹­”—ŠĎ”O

Robin: Well, it turns out that Heads or Tails has a job opening.

Jordin: Ta... heads.

Animator: Marni, flip that coin.

Robin: So now, because of that incident, Heads or Tails is looking for a new currency rotation specialist.

Ted: You mean coin flip bimbo?

bimbo —

Robin: They're not bimbos!

Ted: You auditioned, didn't you?

Animator: And you're Canadian?! Mm. Robin, aside from that coin, this is the other thing that's flipping right now. What is my lid? For you.

Ted: You're the new coin flip bimbo?

Robin: Currency rotation specialist.

Ted: Robin, you better check yourself before you trebek yourself. You're a journalist! What is the matter with you?

Robin: Well, it's a national audience! I get to wear shiny dresses!

Ted: Robin, have you forgotten about your New Year's resolution?

resolution Œˆ’f

Robin: I am never drinking again.

Ted: No, before that.

Robin: I am gonna finish this whole bottle tonight.

Ted: Before that, too.

Robin: I moved here to work for a big-time cable news channel like World Wide News. Mm-hmm. Well, by this time next year, I will be wearing a World Wide News I.D. badge around my neck. And to show you that I'm serious, this is my first and only drink of the night. Okay. Okay? Oh, damn, that's smooth.

Ted: I thought you finally got that interview at World Wide News.

Robin: Well, I did, but they only offered me a boring, low-paid, off-camera research job.

Ted: Which could be a stepping stone to bigger things in your career.

Robin: Well, so could Heads or Tails. The first currency rotation specialist went on to be a semi-finalist on The Bachelor, and then, she lost, like, a hundred pounds on The Biggest Loser, and now she's totally winning Celebrity Rehab.

Narator: It seemed like there was no changing Robin's mind. But what we didn't know, in that moment, was that our world was about to be turned upside down.

Lily: I'm pregnant.

Robin: What?!

Narator: Now, kids, when your friends have great news, you're happy for them... For, like, a millisecond. And then you start thinking about yourself.

Robin: Oh, my God! They're really having a baby. What am I doing with my life? Starting Monday, I'm a currency rotation spe... Oh, who am I kidding? I'm a coin flip bimbo, and I'm still single. Okay, let's not go there, Scherbatsky. That's a whole other thing. I've got to take that World Wide News job.

Narator: And so, the next night, we had two things to celebrate.

Robin: Well, you are looking at the new associate researcher at World Wide News.

Marshall: Oh, my gosh. That's amazing news.

Ted: What changed your mind?

Robin: Marshall and Lily. I just realized that I am about to have a little niece who looks up to me. And I don't want to be sad aunt Robin, the aging coin flip bimbo who gives her the creeps. I want to be cool aunt Robin, the respected journalist... Who gives her beer.

niece ‚ß‚˘

Lily: What?

Robin: What? Oh. I have never seen you guys looking so at peace. To Lily and Marshall.

Marshall: Well, thank you. I mean, we've never been happier.

Narator: So the next day Robin called Heads or Tails to respectfully decline.

Robin: Hi, Mr. Trebek. This is Robin Scherbatsky.

Narator: But at that moment...

Doctor: You're not pregnant.

Robin: As honored as I am by the offer, um... Oh, my God. They're not having a baby. What am I getting all up in my head about? That research job sounds hard. And I'm pretty. I'm really, really pretty.

ł‹C

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