Narator:...learn about relationships is that you're never done getting to know someone. Everyone has secrets. Some are nice.
Ted: You know how to make crepes? That is so cool.
Narator: Some aren't as nice.
Robin: And then there was Derek and counting you, that puts the total up to...
Ted: Oh, I got your total...counting along...
Narator: And some are just weird.
Ted: You're scared of the Seven Dwarfs?
Robin: Just Doc. He's creepy. I mean, the guy went to medical school. What's he doing living with six coal miners?
coal 石炭 miner 鉱山労働者
Barney: Oh, man, I'm so excited. I couldn't sleep last night. I bet you guys couldn't either.
Barney: Ah, only the gala event for the grand opening of Sharper Image's 500th store. Didn't you get my email?
Robin: No, I blocked your address after the fourth time you sent me the video of the monkey sniffing his own butt.
Barney: Come on, it's on me! I'm buying three of you foot massagers and one of you a nose hair trimmer. You know who you are.
You know who you are 自分の持ち味や長所短所をよく理解している
Barney: Come on, let's go.
Robin: All right, I'm in.
Barney: To the Willowbrook Mall! Ted,
Marshall: To the Willowbrook Mall!
Robin: Oh, it's at a mall? I'm not going.
Ted: What? Why not?
Robin: I just don't feel like going to a mall.
Lily: We can split a cinnabon.
Robin: No, I'm really not gonna go.
Ted: Come on, it'll be fun.
Robin: No, I don't go to malls! Sorry, I just don't like malls.
Barney: Why not?
Robin: I'd rather not say.
Ted: Guys, guys, guys, Robin doesn't like malls. If she doesn't want to tell us why, she doesn't have to. I think we should all just respect her privacy.
Robin: Thanks Ted.
Ted: So, what's the deal with you and malls?
Robin: You said if I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't have to.
Ted: Yeah, with those people. I'm your boyfriend. Come on, what is it? Did you get arrested in a mall?
Ted: Dumped in a mall?
Ted: Found out you were Canadian at a mall?
Robin: Let it go.
Ted: Trapped under a fake boulder at the mall?
Robin: Let it go.
Ted: Mauled at the mall?
Robin: Let it go. And who gets trapped under a fake boulder at the mall?
Ted: Not me in Ohio when I was nine, that's for sure.
Ted: What, I don't get it, why won't Robin tell me why she hates malls?
Barney: Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal 'oh' moment.
Marshall: The 'oh' moment?
Barney: Yeah, that moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal breaker.
deal breaker 交渉を難航させるもの
Girl #1: It's a promise ring. I made a pact with God to stay a virgin till I'm married.
make a pact with 〜と契約を結ぶ
Girl #2: I don't have an eating disorder. It's just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it and then I spit it out.
eating disorder 摂食障害
Girl #3: I just turned 30.
Barney: So, trust me, you want to postpone knowing anything about each other for as long as possible.
Ted: I disagree. If there's some potential 'oh' moment, I want to know about it right away. I mean, what's the alternative?
what's the alternative? 代案は何ですか？
Priest: I now pronounce you man and wife.
Ted: I love you.
Robin: I used to be a dude.
Lily: Yeah, I agree with Ted. In a real relationship, you share everything. That's why Marshall and I don't keep any secrets.
Barney: You are such a cutie pie. Here's a quarter, go play something on the jukebox.
Ted: It's true. They tell each other everything.
Barney: I can think of tons of things there's no way Marshall told you
Lily: Try me.
Barney: Do you know about the time the Marshall was in Trenton?
Lily: Doggie ate his pants. Yep.
Barney: Bill's bachelor party in Memphis.
Lily: Oh, when they had to pump out all the nickels from his stomach?
pump out を産出する nickel ポーカーなどの賭け金の500ドル
Barney: OK, Seattle.
Lily: Trick question, Marshall's never been to the Pacific Northwest because he's afraid of Sasquatch.
Marshall: I'm not afraid of Sasquatch. I just think we should all be on alert.
Ted: Trust me, not only do they tell each other everything. They want to know everything.
Marshall: So, after the shower, I was brushing my teeth, and I was like, oh man, I wanted to have some orange juice, I should have done that first, but I already had the toothpaste on the toothbrush so I just went ahead and brushed them anyway.
Lily: What happened next?
Ted: Yeah, meanwhile, Robin tells me nothing.
Barney: Fine, do you want to know what Robin's secret is?
Ted: You know?
Barney: Of course I know. She couldn't look at us. Her face got flushed. That's shame. Our friend, Robin, used to do porn, wait for it, ography.
Ted: Yeah, we didn't really have to wait for that. And it's ridiculous.
Lily: I don't know, he could be right. She does have the fake orgasm noises down.
Lily: What? The walls are thin.
Ted: That's not what I'm hey-ing you about.
Marshall: You know what it might be. This is gonna sound a little crazy but what if robin's married?
Ted: Married? What does have to do with the mall?
Marshall: Well, maybe she got married at the mall. Back home in Minnesota a ton of people would get married at the Mall of America, it's great. It's a gorgeous indoor golf course for pictures. Numerous fine dining options, and talk about a reasonable price...
Lily: We're not getting married at the mall.
Marshall: Just meet with the guy.
Ted: She's not married. Robin hates marriage.
Marshall: Because she already got married, at the mall.
Lily: No, because before Robin moved to New York, she...What was she doing?
Ted: Well, I don't know, whenever I ask her about Canada, she kinda clams up.
clam up 黙り込む
Marshall: She's a pretty private person.
Lily: Except when she's talking about...
Robin: A friend of mine in Canada got married way too young and it really turned her off to marriage.
Lily: What do you think of this wedding cake?
Robin: Oh, I like it. Hey, you remember that friend of mine in Canada who got married too young? Her wedding cake was a Mrs. Field's giant cookie.
Robin: My friend in Canada who got married way too young, they had to do their vows twice, once in French.
Barney: They speak French there too? God! That place is a mess.
Ted: So, you don't think there's any friend from Canada?
Marshall: Oh, I'm sure there is. Just like I have a friend who wet his bed till he was ten. Use your brain, Ted.
Barney: Guys, there's not way Robin's married. It's ludicrous to even suggest it.
Ted: Thank you Barney.
Barney: 'Cause it's porn.
Ted: I need another beer.
Marshall: Robin is not in porn. I'll bet you anything that she's married.
Barney: 20,000 says it's porn.
Marshall: I don't have 20,000.
Barney: Well then, what do you have?
Barney: I got it. The ultimate wager. Slap bet.
Ted: Oh, slap bet. We used to do those when I was a kid.
Lily: What the hell's a slap bet?
Marshall: Whoever's right gets to slap the other person in the face as hard as they possibly can, but no rings.
Lily: Are you really gonna do that? That's so immature.
Marshall: You can be Slap Bet Commissioner.
Lily: Oh, I love it. What are my powers?
Marshall: Um, if a problem arises and we need a ruling, that's your job.
Barney: But you have to be unbiased and put the integrity of slap bet above all else. This is an honor you will take with you to your grave. On your tombstone, it will read "Lily Aldrin, caring wife, loving friend, Slap Bet Commissioner."
unbiased 公平な integrity 誠実 grave 厳粛な tombstone 墓石
Marshall: And your tombstone will read, "got slapped by Marshall so hard, he died."
Ted: All right, what if I ask Robin point-blank if she has a husband?
Lily: You said you would respect her privacy so maybe you should just drop it.
Ted: Yeah, you're right.