Narator: Lily's first move on a great art challenge of 2008 was to display one of her favorite paintings at her friend's gallery. The night didn't go so well. But then at the last minute...
Woman: I love it.
Lily: You do?
Woman: Yeah, your top. It's gorgeous. Is that 100% silk?
Lily: It's not for sale! My clothes are not for sale!
Narator: So the next day, Lily took her painting to a coffee house that displayed local artists.
Lily: We've been sitting here for hours and nobody's even glanced at my painting. Come on. Let's start talking it up.
glance at ちらっと見る
Robin: Wow! I really like that painting! It's neat! The-the colors are neat. The-the shapes are neat. It's really just... neat. What?
Ted: Observe. I think there's a dynamic quality to the brushwork that, combined with the fluid composition, creates an almost Kandinsky-like emotional resonance.
Observe 意見を述べる fluid なめらかな resonance 奥深さ
Robin: Yes, and you can still enjoy it even if you're not a pretentious douche.
pretentious 大げさな douche 大ばか者
Ted: Can you clarify something for me about your critique? Are the colors "neat" or are they more "neato burrito?"
Robin: Uh, then again, red cowboy boots.
Ted: I pull these off! I pull these off!
Abby: You know what I hate most about Ted?
Abby: His stupid hair. His stupid, lame awesome hair. It's so stupid and awesome.
Barney: You know what I hate most about Ted?
Barney: How he's always like, "Oh, I want to fall in love and have a relationship. I care about the people I have sex with." He's so lame.
Abby: He's so lame and awesome.
Barney: You know what he needs? He needs to see just how horrible he is when he's in a relationship.
Abby: Yeah, and I need to show Ted that I'm over him. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Barney: I think so.
Abby: You're thinking of having sex with Ted?
Narator: After four days without selling a single painting, Lily was getting desperate.
Lily: Painting for sale! $500! Lifelong dream hanging in the balance! It's like they don't even see us.
Lifelong dream 生涯の夢 hang in the balance かかっている
Man: Yeah, we're dirt to them. What do you need money for?
Lily: Oh, I'm trying to fix the hardwood floors in my new apartment. You?
Lily: Do you like heroin?
Man: Love it. In fact, if you sell that, I'm going to take your money and go buy some more heroin.
Lily: Thanks for your honesty, Crazy Sock Guy. Oh, I'm never gonna sell this...
Man: It's not very good.
Narator: And just as she was about to lose all hope, something amazing happened.
Man 2: Oh, my God!
Lily: 500 bucks! Who's a real painter now, Marshall?
Marshall: Honey, I never said you weren't a real painter.
Lily: Oh, I know, sweetie. And since I'm a professional artist now, I'm going to sketch you an Aldrin original, you know, to say thanks for being such a supportive husband. I'm thinking about calling it... "Suck It!"
Marshall: Lily, come on. I'm proud of you. Who-who bought it?
Lily: Well, that's the best part. A gay couple without kids. A G-CWOK!
Ted: You bagged a G-CWOK?!
Lily: Yeah, that's right. They are the heart and soul of the art-buying community.
Ted: You know what you should do? You should call up the G-CWOKs and offer them a free painting if they throw a private art party for all their G-CWOK friends.
Lily: That's an amazing idea. I'm going to go call them. I can probably sell two more paintings with time to spare. Oh, wait, Marshall. There was something I had to tell you. What was it? Oh, that's right. Suck it.
with time to spare 時間の余裕を持って
Barney: Ted, fancy bumping into you here. Have you guys met my girlfriend Abby?
bump into 偶然出会う
Ted: Uh, yeah.
Barney: Hi, Abby.
Ted: Hello, Abby. So, uh, s-so you guys are dating now?
Barney: That's right. I am done with this whole being awesome thing. Now I'm all about farmers' markets and day hikes in matching khaki cargo shorts. Isn't that right, sweetie?
Abby: That's right. And girlfriends are lame. Unless they're me. I miss you, Ted.
Barney: Abby and I are in love. Not hot passionate love. Couple love. You know, movie night with my girlfriend, then waiting for her to go to bed so I can steal one pitiful moment of hollow ecstasy by the cold, blue light of my computer monitor.
Abby: We're showing Ted how lame he is.
Barney: You don't have to say it, though.
Ted: Uh, okay, Barney, you can stop.
Barney: Stop what, Ted? Stop being in love? Next he'll ask us to stop breathing.
Abby: We can't stop breathing, Ted. Your hair looks amazing.
Ted: Um, Barney, I, I see what you're doing. Please stop.
Barney: Not before I share with you what being in a relationship leads to, Ted. Abby, Pookie Bear... I am so pathetically desperate for you that... aw, heck, I'll just say it. Would you marry me?
Abby: Wait, really?
Barney: I would never joke about true love.
Abby: Yes, I'll marry you.
Abby: Thank you, thank you. I have to call my mom.
Barney: That's you.
Ted: Uh, yeah, I don't think Abby knows you're kidding.
Barney: Uh, yes, she does.
Abby: It finally happened, Mama. I just wish Daddy were alive to walk me down the aisle.
Barney: Totally committed to the bit. Lily's on the phone
Lily: Yes, Lily Aldrin. I sold you the painting earlier today.
Man 2: Oh, honey, hello.
Lily: You sound happy.
Man 2: Are you kidding? We're popping the champagne right now.
Lily: Well, I just wanted to offer you an exclusive chance to view some of my other paintings.
Man 2: Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, oh, I guess I should have told you. We just bought that for the frame.
Man 2: Yeah, it's an original Anton Kreutzer, a very rare frame from the turn of the century.
the turn of the century 世紀の始まり
Lily: So... y-you didn't like my painting?
Man 2: Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, no, not at all. But you know, good for you.
Lily: Okay. Well, if you didn't want the painting, can I... can I at least get it back?
Man 2: Yeah, no, we don't have it anymore.
Lily: Where is it? I see. H-He threw out my painting.
Man 2: Champagne for everyone on me, the happiest guy in the world.