I had to prove that as scary as it was to be dating again, I was over Stella and ready to get back out there.And Barney needed to prove that he,too, could pull off "The Naked Man.
Hey,thank you for letting me look at your aquarium.You're a real life saver.
I just need to use the bathroom and I'll be on my way.
Ted,I'm doing it.I'm doing the "Naked Man"!
Me,too! doing it! I'm doing The Naked Man!
That's great! What made you change your mind?
Well,the date with Vicky started off okay, but it didn't go as well as I hoped.
Oh,my God! Ted,you are so funny! And can I just say, you have amazing eyes.
What,these old things?
Oh! Nice job,hot shot.Save it! Go tell the manager he owes us an appetizer.One of the ones with shrimp! Me You're welcome.You were saying?
And then his cane missed the top step, and he was falling,for, I swear,like two minutes.Oh,God,I love old people.
Once I realized there was no possible future in this relationship, I just decided to go for it.
Awesome! Okay,big question: What pose will you display your "Naked Man" in?
Huh.Wow,that is a big question.I hadn't really thought about it.
I was thinking the Superman.
Uh,what about the "Captain Morgan"?
How about the "Oops, I didn't see you there"?
What about the Heisman?
The Burt Reynolds.
It's so great to see you again.I-I really had a great time last night.So,what is it like managing a C.P.K.?I mean,who's idea was it to put a pineapple in the...
Okay,stop right there.I know what this is.I've been on this date before.This is the "I'm not a slut" date.
What? That's crazy.Usually you read me so well, but this time you're wrong.
Come on,Robin.One of us had a good time last night, and we both know it was me.
Oh,Mitchell Something, that is,that is just not true!
Really? How was the sex?
I didn't hate it.
Robin,you've seen my move.That's it.I have nothing else to offer you.I'm broke,I sweat when I eat, and I'm in,like,five different fantasy football leagues.It's all I talk about.Trust me,you don't want to be around that.
What? Yes,I do! Look,I didn't just sleep with you because you were naked.
Yeah,you did.And now you're trying to pretend it was something more to make yourself feel better.Say what you will, at least "The Naked Man" is honest.
What about the old "Coppertone Baby"?
The Olympic gymnast who stuck the landing. Hup!
Yeah,I got to go.
You have a really nice place!
Oh,thanks! Coming from you, that's a real compliment.I just love that you're an architect,it's so fascinating.I could listen to you talk about structural design all night.
And then I noticed, lying on her end table, a book of love poems by Pablo Neruda. The same edition I'd had since college.And it was bookmarked to my favorite poem.Maybe I was all wrong about this girl.Maybe there was a future for us.
Here we go.
Oh,yeah,that book's a turd.Some douchey guy I hooked up with left it here. It's all in Mexican.You know who writes good poems? Jewel.Her teeth are crooked and she lived in a car.So,she has stuff to write about.
turd くそ douchey ウザイ奴 crooked 奇形の
The Naked Man" works! I just had decent sex with an awful human being.I am back!
You're not the only one who rocked "The Naked Man" tonight.
You just want to do it to change the subject.
Yeah.Hey,that's number 49! Did it work?
It's like I just flossed.
I love you.
Nice! What pose did you go with?
I went with "I've got boobs.
And she nailed it.
Oh,my God! Guys,guys,guys! This is him! This is "The Naked Man"!
Um,Ted,his name is Mitch.And,um,he's my boyfriend.
So It's okay,Robin.I no longer call slut.
Oh,okay.You can go.We're done.
Hold on, Mitch,Mitch, I have to thank you.We all tried "The Naked Man" tonight.
Ooh,we should see how Barney did.
Hi,is,uh, is Barney there?
Oh,my God! What's the matter with you?! Get out!
I just have to grab my suit.It's very expensive.The tie alone...
Get out of here right now! Get out,you sick son of a bitch!
And if I see him again, I'm calling the cops.
Two out of three times.
Mitch,I want you to know, this night,crazy as it was, it got me out of my shell.
That's the beauty of "The Naked Man.It gives you exactly what you need.No more,no less.Now,if you'll excuse me, I need to replace one of my fantasy football quarterbacks.He separated his shoulder!
A toast to Mitch.By the sum of his parts, he is just a man.But by what he does with those parts,he becomes so much more. He may not fit society's definition of a hero, but he is the hero I needed.The hero who helped me recover from the disaster of my failed almost-marriage and get back into the game.He lives in the shadows.Is he a dream? Truth? Fiction? Damnation? Salvation? He is all these things and none of them.For he is "The Naked Man.
Damnation 破滅 Salvation 救済