Robin: That is so fascinating. So what happened?
Robin's date: Well, after eighteen hours of surgery, I closed and thankfully both girls just celebrated their second birthday.
Robin: Wow, gosh, separating conjoined twins. That must be the most amazing feeling.
conjoined twins 結合体双生児
Robin's date: True, but now the parents don't know what to do with their huge supply of four-legged overalls.
Robin: That is so funny. You are so funny.
Lily: Positive. They both want you bad. It's a clearance sale and you're the boots, baby.
Lily: Oh, it's Robin. Good luck.
Ted: Bye mom. (Ted hangs up phone)
Ted: My mom.
Robin: Bring me a razor.
Lily: What about the no-shave rule? What happened to your convictions?
Robin: They've been surgically removed by Dr. Awesome.
Lily: No, I'm not doing it. The whole point to not shaving...
Robin: Lily, please, he's really cute and I really like him. And he's got a British accent. (Lily on phone)
Lily: I'm on my way.
Ted: So, this college boyfriend, who, who won him?
Trudy: Neither of us.
Rachel: He left, junior year abroad.
Trudy: It's really too bad. There was that one thing we wanted to do.
Rachel: We were gonna do, but never did.
Ted: What? What, what were you guys gonna do but never did.
Rachel: No, It's too embarrassing. You tell him.
Trudy: No, you tell him.
Rachel: I don't care if you don't care.
Trudy: I don't care.
Ted: Nobody cares, just say it.
Rachel: Why don't we tell him together?
Trudy: OK, on three.
Lily: Well, he's right, it's a dead heat.
Lily: Neither one is giving ground. I could not tell who was the third wheel.
give ground 譲歩する third wheel お邪魔虫
Ted: It's a tricycle.
Barney: No way, no way, no way!
Marshall: What's happening?
Ted: It's a tricycle.
Marshall: No way, no way, no way. It's a tricycle.
Lily: Well, I'll just say it right now, all sorority girls are sluts.
Barney: Put him on speaker.
Barney: So what you're saying to us right now is you have a shot at the belt?
have a shot at 〜に挑戦する
Marshall: Wait wait wait, what belt?
Ted: Barney and I have this running joke that the first guy to actually pull this off would win the championship belt.
running joke 繰り返し発せられるジョーク
Marshall: Oh, so it's a metaphorical belt, right?
Ted: You actually bought a belt.
Barney: That's right, it's resplendent.
Ted: It's just a thing we said, we were kidding around.
kid around ふざける
Barney: I never kid. Remember you said if I ever slept with that girl from Days of our Lives, I'd be the king? Well...
Marshall: Why wasn't I told about the belt? I could go for the belt.
Marshall: If Lily were to die before me, then I could ride the tricycle.
Lily: If I died, I'd just come back and haunt your penis.
Ted: Guys, come on, help me out. What do I do?
Barney: All right, Ted, if you're about to go for the belt, then the bylaws require me to ask the following questions. One, is the aggregate age of all the participants under 83?
bylaw 規則 aggregate 総計で〜になる participant 参加者
Barney: Two, is the aggregate weight of all participants under 400 pounds.
Barney: Theodore Mosby, are you paying these women?
Ted: What? No.
Ted: No. Look, I gotta go. They're gonna think I inherited my dad's imaginary bathroom issues.
inherit 遺伝を受ける imaginary 想像上の
Ted: Oh, are you guys leaving?
Rachel: Well, it is getting pretty late.
Ted: Right, well...
Trudy: I thought maybe we could all go and listen to that Wilco CD you talked about before.
Ted: Great, I have it right upstairs. It's in my apartment upstairs. Let's so upstairs.
Rachel: I'm sorry, where was your apartment again?
Ted: That's funny. I love that. You should tell more jokes at my apartment upstairs.
Marshall: Scenario number 12. We're in a horrific car crash, you die, I'm left paralyzed. Two sexy nurses with a six-pack of wine coolers sneak into my room late at night. I try to blink at them in morse code, "Please, don't, I love my dead wife," but they're medical professionals and I gotta think somehow they're saving my life.
Lily: Fine, sleep with your nurses. Tonight you ride the unicycle.
Marshall: I already did this morning.
Robin: Lily, I have pounded three cappuccinos waiting for you. Pretty soon I won't have to shave, the hair is going to vibrate off my legs.
Lily: Sorry, I can't leave now.
Robin: Lily, he can't see my legs like this. I look like a Turkish lesbian.
Robin: There is a pharmacy across the street. Would 20 bucks buy me a razor?
Waitress: No, but fifty will.
Barney: Oh, hold on. Ted's texting me. We're combing upsars.
Marshall: We're combing upsars? What does that mean?
Lily: He's coming upstairs!
Marshall: Where are my pants? Where's my pants!
Ted: Got them.
Rachel: Ooh, nice place!
Rachel: Hey, are these your roommates?
Ted: Yes, yes, but they are not here. They are somewhere else. We have total privacy because privacy is essential when you're listening to music.
Rachel: You know what else is essential when you're listening to music? Music.
Ted: That's hilarious. You are hilarious. I'll go get it in my bedroom. The CD's in my bedroom. Bedroom.
Rachel: OK, we'll try and stay out of trouble.
Trudy: Of course we can't promise anything.
Ted: This is gonna be awesome.
Ted: What are you guys doing here? I've got, I've got...
Lily: We know, we know, Ted. Well done, this is very impressive. Up top.
Marshall: Yeah bro, up top.
Lily: Oh, don't be gross.
Ted: You guys need to get out of here right now. Please, take the fire escape.
Marshall: No, no way. The other day I saw a pigeon take a crap on it and the whole thing shifted.
Lily: Oh, you can use our bedroom.
Ted: OK, all I need to seal the deal is the Wilco CD...Barney.
Ted: What are you doing?
Barney: I cannot allow Ted to do this.
Ted: Why, why?
Barney: Because the belt is my birthright. You can't claim it before I do. That would be like Jimmy Olsen capturing Lex Luther while Superman watches impotently from the bedroom.
birthright 当然与えられるべき権利 impotently なすすべもなく
Marshall: But Barney, you've done way dirtier stuff than Ted. You're disgusting.
Barney: I've never ridden the tricycle. I was on the verge last year, it was so close.