ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I second Marshall's vow."

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ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“9yŒ´‘čzRally

Okay, so... accidentally throwing Barney down the stairs did not wake him up.

Nor did banging his head on each step as we dragged him back up here.

So, how do we wake him up long enough to tell us the final ingredient?

ingredient Ţ—ż

You know, when my sister and I had trouble getting up for school, my dad a few cute little tricks. I'll do it! I swear to God I'll do it!

Your dad used to do this to you?

Well, it was with a Cabbage Patch doll and an ax. But same idea. Trust me. I was never late for kindergarten again. What? Come on.

I second Marshall's vow. I will never, ever get that drunk again.

second Ž^Ź‚ˇ‚é

Yeah. She would.

My baby boy's in college. Did you pack enough undies?

Yes, Mom.

Your father did a lot of puking in these hallowed halls. From-from binge studying. Saved it.

hallowed _š‚Č binge ‚Ç‚ń‚ż‚á‚ń‘›‚Ź

That reminds me, mister. No underage drinking. No good comes from hanging out in bars and getting drunk.

But every story from your 20s starts in a bar.

Listen to your mother.

Oh, what are we gonna do without you in the house?

We got him out of the house! Drink up! Oh... You son of a me!

You son of a bitch!

All right, we got most of the ingredients on our list. Ginger, bananas, Funyuns. I cannot believe that minimart sold Tantrum. It's been discontinued for years.

Uh, hey. Will you, uh, toss me that bottle?

Oh. Yeah, we haven't done this forever.

Dude! You're a grown man. Why you throwing a Tantrum?

Nice!

So awesome!

So awesome!

Okay, there's only one more item on the list and... it's an odd one.

Grease?

Grease.

At the Farhampton Inn, we don't cook with grease. Our menu is organic. Farm to table, locally grown. No grease.

Sir, I am from Minnesota, where every meal is cooked with grease. And my father dubbed that food the tastiest eats in the whole gosh darn world, so...

dub ‰ş‚˛‚ľ‚ç‚Ś

And how is your father's health?

Point is, it tastes really good. Also, uh, we need it to help a friend recover from a hangover.

Wait a second. There's bacon right here. And where there's bacon, there's bacon grease.

Which we throw out. And we aren't making any more bacon today. Not unless it all somehow gets eaten in the ten minutes before breakfast is over.

throw out ˆ•Ş‚ˇ‚é

No, no, no! Ted, do not give me that look!

A mountain of food. A ticking clock? Come on! You live for this stuff!

No, I'm not a wild animal. I'm a Columbia-educated lawyer, poised to become a judge before age 35.

poise g\‚Ś‚é

And remind me, how did you celebrate getting accepted into Columbia?

You eat one eight-pound block of fudge in 12 minutes and you're marked for life.

You're not marked for life... Big Fudge.

I'm out, okay? You eat the bacon.

You know I can't. I'm allergic.

Ted. I've been trying to tell you this for years. Your bacon allergy is a lie your mother made up so you'd eat healthy as a kid.

No, I'm just allergic to a lot of stuff. Bacon, doughnuts, Halloween candy. Not saying thank you. Oh, my God! That bitch lied to me! Okay, I'll-I'll do it. But I... look, I don't, I don't even know if I'll like bacon.

What do you think?

I have seen the face of God.

Okay, there is one thing we haven't tried yet. Making out with each other.

You really think that will wake him up?

Wake up who now?

Look at this soggy bag of snot. That's it, I am joining Marshall's vow. I am never, ever getting that drunk again.

soggy ‚¸‚Ô”G‚ę‚Ě snot •@…‚Ě

Kids, you see where this is going.

Did last night really happen?

I think so. Look, let's just agree. Absolute silence for the rest of the day. Every time. You want me to get her?

No, I got her. Yeah, I know, I know. Hey, Barney?

Yeah?

Whose baby is this?

Uh, pardon.

How could you, Mom?!You had the map to heaven and you never showed me the way. May you rot in the bacon-less hell that I've lived in my entire life.

Yeah, they-they, uh, crisp it up real nice here. Don't they?

Mm-hmm.

What is that... applewood smoked? You know what, Ted, you've been going at it real hard. Why don't you take a breather? And I'll drive us home.

applewood smoked ƒAƒbƒvƒ‹ƒEƒbƒh‚ĹƒXƒ‚[ƒN‚ľ‚˝

Well, congratulations. Here's your grease. No! I don't want to lose a finger. Here.

Thanks. All right, Ted, let's go.

No, no! I finally found the one, Marshall. Her name is Bacon. You know, this would go great on one of my mom's LT sandwiches.

Buddy, you got to take it easy.

Never! I got a lifetime without bacon to make up for. I will keep eating and eating and eating... Oh, God, help me. I'm going down.

And that's the first and last time I ever ate bacon.

He is not waking up. I'm out of ideas. We've tried everything.

Not everything. Lily Aldrin? Let's make out.

Are you sure?!

Yeah, baby, I'm sure.

Um... okay, well, you know what? I mean... it probably won't even work. And it was stupid. I'm stupid.

You're beautiful.

More, more, more, more, more, more, more, more.

Whoa, he's awake! How'd you do it?!

Nothing special.

Hydration, patience.

Quick, before he passes out again. Barney! What's the secret ingredient in Stinson's Hangover Fixer Elixir?

Come on, stay with us.

The secret ingredient is... nothing.

Huh?

I ate too much bacon.

Stinson's Hangover Fixer Elixir is a lie. That's the secret.

You... You know, I could use a little lie-down myself.

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Ą‰ń‚́AƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚ÍI second Marshall's vow. ‚É‚ľ‚Ä‚¨‚­B