Whoa, what happened here?
I know, right? Who's not looking at my toupee now huh?! Look what we did to these guys!
Yeah we.Come on, man.we're a good team.Nice work boys! We did it!
No, no, no, you did it.We didn't do anything.
Okay, yeah, yeah, sure.I just beat up three guys by myself.You guys.That's good.You and you-- free drinks for life.
He thinks we were in this fight with him.
We were, in this fight with him.And now we are going to go in there and tell everyone the legendary tale of how we beat up some guys.And everyone is going to think it's great and everyone is going to sleep with me again.
Dude come on,no one is gonna believe we were in a fight-- look at us.
Oh that's a good.
What are you doing?!
What I should've done a long time ago.
I don't know I just hit myself in the eye! I don't even know what I'm saying I throw an awesome right hook by the way.Okay are you ready?
To go back in?
God! You just punched me in the nose!
Are you crying?
Yes I'm crying! You just punched me in the nose!
Oh that's going to swell up real good.You're going to look like Owen Wilson.Okay let's get back in there.
swell up 腫れる
OK but just let's just play this down, okay? I don't want this to turn into a big thing.
And Ted comes and takes his shoe off! Hits him in the mouth Hey there they are! The guys that got my back!
You two got in a fight.Really?
Uh, no, Barney punched me and himself in the face to make it look like we got in a fight.Come on, Marshall!
Wow look at your eye.you look like a badass.I'm surprised to see you had it in me.You.Had it in you.
Do you want to touch it?
Oh my God, it's warm!
Hey! Victory drinks! Free! Free! Free! Free! $7.50.
Why do I have to pay?
'Cause you don't got my back.These guys got my back.
You know what Doug? I will gladly pay.And you know why? Because that's what grownups do.They pay for their drinks and they don't get into fights.You know what I was doing while you guys were out there being immature? I'll tell you what I was doing.
No.I was doing
The relationship quiz in this month's Cosmo?
No.I was doing
Your best not to cry when Big came back for Carrie at the end of the Sex and the City movie?
No.Spoilers much? No.I'll tell you what I was doing--
The captain of the football team Because he gave you his promise ring and you looked so pretty in your open-back homecoming dress?
I hate those guys! Acting like they're the manliest guys in the universe like they're Crocodile Dundee and David Hasselhoff.
Those are the manliest guys in the universe?
I don't understand why they're getting all this attention.I mean I'm the real hero here.
yeah, you are.
I'm serious woman.Put it back in your pants.
Marshall you're the man every boy should grow up to become and every girl should marry.You know what? I have two kids in my class who won't stop fighting.If you come to school tomorrow and tell them your story of choosing the path of nonviolence it might really set them straight.And save me having to get up early to make a lesson plan.
All right.Okay.I'll set them straight.
You're a wuss.
What? No! Mahatma Panda and Martin Luther Koala are telling you kids this story
to illustrate To illustrate that you're a wuss? Why didn't you just fight those guys? Were you scared?
What? No! I wasn't scared! I've been in plenty of fights okay?
You're huge! You must weigh like a thousand pounds.
Okay.First of all, I'm wearing a baggy sweater and it has horizontal stripes.And I also-- and I had a salty lunch And so I'm retain. You know what? Shut up!
Wuss! Wuss! Wuss! Wuss!Wuss!Wuss!
Wow.So you just beat those guys up?
Just? Oh, Amanda were it so simple.You see, hand to hand combat is about so much more than just administering brute force on your opponent, right B?
You know it!
It's a science.The sweet science as it were.
Wait.I'm confused what did those guys do to deserve it?
Well.this may sound petty -but they sat in our booth.
They sat in our booth.
sits in our booth. It's been taken.
Are you going to beat those guys up?
Yes ,we are going to beat those guys up.Ted, come on.
You two.Our booth.Get out.Now!
What are you doing?
Relax.we got Doug.Big Doug's got our backs.
Yeah.But Doug's not here tonight
Can I get you guys something? Drinks? Cash? Those two girls over there?
Are you Ted Mosby?
And you're Barney Stinson?
They've heard of us.It's cool,guys.I let you leave with your asses unkicked.This time.
What's, uh, what's this?
You've been served.
You're being sued for assault.Enjoy your booth.
That was close.