ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I'm going to go order one right now with my head held high."

–˘—ˆ

ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“8yŒ´‘čzThe Time Travelers

Kids, in April of 2013, your mother and I were very close and yet very far apart. I was living on West 82nd Street. She was up on West 115th. She was getting a degree in economics. I was teaching architecture. I was always at MacLaren's. She was always... not spending all her time in a bar. She was dating some finance guy named Louis. And I... I was alone.

Ted, get ready to be surrounded by half-naked, grease-covered bodies. And by grease, I mean motor grease. We're going to Robots vs. Wrestlers!

Kids, you remember Robots vs. Wrestlers.

Forget everything you remember about Robots vs. Wrestlers. This is Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends. Elderly wrestlers fighting old-timey robots in a wheelchair-accessible wrestling ring. Why are we still sitting here?

I got a big lecture tomorrow. Think I'm gonna take it easy tonight.

Ted, trust me, 20 years from now, you'll be glad you saw Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends.

I can't imagine a world where that's possible.

I'm serious. 20 years from now, when my 26-year-old third wife asks me about this...

You make a lot of those jokes.

I'm gonna say, Yeah, it was awesome, but you know the funny thing? Ted almost didn't go. But thank God he did, because it was a great night. And then she and I will adjourn to the Jacuzzi, where my fourth wife will be waiting for us, already warming herself up on the jets. Oh, Robin's here-- I'll tell you the rest later.

Please do, that story could go anywhere.

Hey, hello.

Hey. Here we are at the bar once more. What will I have to drink? you ask. Hmm. Minnesota Tidal Wave. What's that? you ask. Only the best cocktail ever. Who invented it? you ask. Me.

And it's not a girly drink.

Lily, why would you even say that?

Girly drink.

Hey, I am the least girly girl on Earth, and I love the Minnesota Tidal Wave.

Thank you, Robin. Matter of fact, I'm going to go order one right now with my head held high. Lily.

with one's head held high ŽŠg‚đŽ‚Á‚Ä

You want me to order it for you?

Yes, please, thank you, baby.

Ted, let me tell you the secret to life. Every time I make a decision about what to do on a given night, I ask myself, What would make the best memory 20 years from now? So I let 20-Years-From-Now- Barney call the shots. And it always works out.

call the shots Ń”z‚đ‚ӂ邤

And 20-Years-From-Now-Barney thinks we should go to Robots vs. Wrestlers?

I don't know. Let's ask him. Close your eyes, Ted. Okay, now open them.

Barney, I swear to God, if I open my eyes and your bare ass is an inch away from my face again...

Just open your eyes.

Ted, I'd like you to meet 20-Years-From-Now-Barney. 20-Years-From-Now-Barney, you remember Ted.

'Sup? Hey, Ted. What's this I hear-slash-remember about you not wanting to see Robots vs. Wrestlers?

Yeah, it's just that I don't want to see it.

You don't...

I know.

He doesn't...

I know. Ted, trust us, it's gonna be legend-- wait 20 years for it...

...dary!

Legendary!

Legendary!

Okay, uh, I'm gonna go home.

No, Ted, look. Come on! If you don't believe that Robots vs. Wrestlers is gonna be a life-changing event, maybe you'll believe 20-Years-From-Now-Ted.

Whoa.

'Sup?

Wow. Wow, so many things all at once. But most importantly... I don't go bald?

Nope.

And neither do I.

Eeh...

Ted, listen to me. You, listen to you. Me. You got to go to Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends. Trust me, you will regret it if you don't.

So, what, do I go bald or something? Is that a toupee? Ted, scalp check!

Can't Robin do this?

Come on, you've been doing it for years. You know the frame of reference. Scalp check!

frame of reference Šî€˜g

Hmm, that's odd. Little early in the week for scalp check.

Five tablespoons of sugar, a whisper of vanilla vodka and you're done.

Maraschino cherries.

Oh, and a handful of maraschino cherries on top.

Wait, you're ordering a Robin Scherbatsky. Why didn't you just say that?

One second there, barkeep. Unless I'm mistaken, the drink this lady just ordered is called the Minnesota Tidal Wave. Origin unknown.

Oh, well, you know, Robin's been ordering them so much lately that we named it after her.

You named a drink after me?

Right there in the menu. Congrats.

I can't drink this. That's better. I'm still seething, but that's better.

seething ŽĎ‚Ś‚­‚č•Ô‚é

Okay, 20-Years-From-Now-Me, level with me. You. Us. Is Robots vs. Wrestlers worth it?

level with ‚Ů‚ń‚Ć‚Ě‚ą‚Ć‚đŒž‚¤

It was the single greatest night of my life.

Even greater than your wedding?

Well, I mean, when I get married, that'll be the greatest night of my life. But who knows when that's going to happen?

Oh, my God, you still haven't...

Man, I hope I meet her soon.

Oh, God, what is wrong with me?!

I'm sorry! I'm just messing with you! Now, come on, are we going or what?

Fine, let's go.

Yeah!

Not so fast. Barney, Ted, 20-Years-From-Now-Barney, 20-Years-From-Now-Ted.

Who are you?

I'm 20-Hours-From-Now-Ted. And you bastards aren't going anywhere.

So, you're the Ted from 20 hours from now?

Shh. Just... shh.

You okay?

No, I'm not okay. This dummy's about to go to Robots vs. Wrestlers-- and yes, it'll be awesome...

See?

...at first. But then you're gonna drink way too much, hence the headache. Then you're gonna jump into the ring and sprain your wrist, hence the splint. And then afterwards, you're gonna smoke half a pack of cigarettes, hence the...

hence ‚ť‚ę‚Ş——R‚Ĺ splint “Y‚Ś–Ř‚đ[‚Ä‚é

Well, that's the sound a good time.

And 20 hours from now, when you're me, you're gonna want to come back here, right to this very spot, right now, and smack yourself upside the head.

Yeah, but obviously I wouldn't do that 'cause I'd only be smacking myself-- Ow!

Don't do this to me, Ted. Don't do this to us.

Don't listen to yourself, Present-Day-Ted. It's a day of pain for a lifetime of memories.

20-Hours-From-Now-Me, just tell me one thing: do I hurl?

hurl “f‚­

Yeah, kid. You hurl.

A lot?

Remember when Mom bought the beef from the Price Club?

Okay, how about this: we go to Robots vs. Wrestlers, but I don't drink too much?

Interesting.

I'm good with that.

No, forget it. If Ted doesn't get wasted, there's no way he'll end up making out with that surprisingly realistic-looking female robot.

Wait, I kiss a female robot?

Oh, you do a lot more than that. Now, look, nobody is saying you need alcohol to have an exciting and memorable night.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

But in this case, yeah, you kind of have to be wasted.

You drink beers in cans still.

It makes the robot scarier.

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