Narator: So that night, Barney got his wish. We all went out. They get into a bar.
Barney: Daddy's home! Yeah. All right, bro. What do you like? Guy in super tight black tee? Super tight black guy? Guy who looks like Mr. T?
James: Mmm, yes, yes, and... talk to me after two martinis. Let's focus on you, my man.
Barney: I'm feeling lazy. How about girl with the chocolatini?
James: Oh... boom, back tattoo. Hero and the pig?
Barney: Let's ride.
James: Fo' 'sho. Damn baby, nice tramp stamp!
Women: Get off me, you pig!
Barney: Hey! Hey! Her body art is not an invitation to grope her, it's an expression of her inner self. I'm sure, in many ways, she is the dolphin encircled by flowers.
invitation 招待状 grope まさぐる encircle 〜を取り巻く
James: What? What?
Barney: What? What?
Barney: Let me know if he bothers you again.
Women: Thanks. You should stay close... just in case.
Barney: Sure. If it'll make you feel safer. I'm Barney.
Narator: Now, kids, when you're out at a noisy, crowded bar, you can always tell the difference between the singles and the couples. You just have to look for the signs.
Barney: Boiling hot.
Boiling hot 猛暑の
Narator: Singles stay on their feet for maneuverability.
James: Hey! Hi, how are ya?
James and Barney: Have you met my brother?
Barney: Oh, hello. Have a drink.
James: Nice to meet ya.
Narator: Couples, exhausted by the sheer act of leaving the house, are obsessed with finding a place to sit down. There are a lot of other indicators, too. From choice of social lubricant...to basic body language. But the point is, there are many ways to tell whether someone has Single Stamina or Couples Coma.
James: I wish I would've worn sneakers. I just got finished running from some fat, hairy guy who was periscoping out of his pleather pants. Permission to come aboard denied.
Lily: I miss my jammies. I can't believe I wore a bra for this.
Robin: Bras suck. They're so confining and unnatural.
Lily: Yeah, they're like a boobie zoo.
Man: Well, why don't you take it off then and let those puppies breathe?
Lily: Oh, please go sweat on someone else.
Marshall: Poor guy.
Lily: Poor guy? Poor my boobs.
Marshall: Well, it takes a lot of guts to approach a girl and you just crushed him.
Lily: Oh, yeah, yeah. He looks all broken up inside.
Robin: Whatever, you guys have no idea what it's like to be on the receiving end.
Ted: "Oh, poor me. I'm a pretty girl and everybody everywhere wants to buy me drinks and have sex with me." Waa.
Marshall: "Oh, poor me. I get to order yummy, pink drinks with chunks of real fruit that guys secretly like, but can't order because they'll be made fun of."
chunk of 厚切り make fun of 〜を物笑いの種にする
Marshall: They're delicious!
Man: Excuse me. Join me in a shot?
James: Oh, no thanks. I've had enough. He's too in shape, we'd spend all night talking about his body fat content. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have a yummy, pink drink with fruit in it... because I can.
Lily: You know, that was, like, the third hot guy that James blew off tonight.
blow off 追い払う
Marshall: Yeah, he's turning down shots, he's yawning, he's whining about his feet. He's as bad as we are.
turn down 断る yawning あくびをしている whining めそめそ言う
Ted: He is. Wait, he's exactly as bad as we are. You guys don't think that James is... in a relationship?
Robin: No. There's no way. He's Barney's brother.
Marshall: Look at that. He's texting!
Ted: Oh, my God! He is in a couple.
Lily: This is gonna kill Barney.
Barney: What's gonna kill me? What's going on?
Marshall: B-Barney? Have you noticed anything...different about James?
Barney: No. I mean, he's glowing from his peel, if that's what you mean.
Ted: We have reason to believe that James is, uh, maybe hiding something from you. I-I know you're not gonna like hearing this, but... Barney... your brother is...monogamous.
have reason to believe そう思うだけの理由がある monogamous 一夫一婦の
Barney: That's ridiculous! Just because he's a little sleepy, and he hasn't had sex with anyone in a bathroom stall... He hasn't had sex with anyone in a bathroom stall.
Robin: And, Barney... I hate to be the one to tell you this, but... he's texting.
Barney: No, he... No! That... is impossible. Excuse... Excuse... Ex...
James: Hey, bro.
Barney: Don't change the subject. Let me see your phone.
Barney: I just want to see your phone. Let me see your phone.
James: No, it's just a phone. It's just a phone! And it's got Internet access, and it's got a camera on it, and you can surf the Web and do the whole thing. It's so amazing how far technology has come. What kind of phone do you have?
Barney: I got... Who is this? And the answer better be "I don't remember his name."
James: That is Tom. And he's my fiance.
Barney: I don't support this.
James: Gay marriage?
Barney: Not gay marriage-- marriage! How can you do this? We were raised in the same house, with the same values!
James: Believe me, I fought this for a long time. Come on, it's embarrassing. Look, this felt unnatural to me, too, at first. But I fell in love. And Tom and I realized you can't fight love.
Barney: Oh, God. Is that what you two do together? You sit around the house and talk about love? I think... I'm gonna be sick.
James: Okay, okay, look, I need you to wrap your head around this, okay? Because it is happening. And I want you to be my best man.
wrap one's head around 理解する
Barney: What? No way.
James: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you change your mind.
feel that way そういうふうに感じる
Woman: Two beers, one shot.
Barney: Oh, it's a freaking epidemic.
Lily: Oh, sweetie! Did you make that for me?
Barney: Clam Bake. Staten Island. Who's in? Okay, I didn't have high hopes for that one. Okay, here's my thing. If gay guys start getting married, then suddenly the whole world's gonna be doing it. That's how it works. They start something, then six months later, everyone follows. Like now everyone gets manicures.
That’s how it works. そういうことです
Ted: I don't get manicures.
Barney: Okay, then like how... Like getting your chest waxed.
Lily: You get your chest waxed?
Barney: You know what I mean! Gay marriage is going to cause single life, as we know it, to die out. Think of how the American family will be strengthened.
Marshall: Barney, I'm sorry you're upset, but you got to suck it up and be a man about this.
suck up 機嫌を取る、取り入る
Barney: No. It's always been me and him together, being awesome, while the rest of you walked two-by-two onto your ark of sexless boredom.
Marshall: Just because James is getting married doesn't mean things are going to change.
Barney: Yeah. Like things haven't changed with you people.
Ted: Look, my sister married a guy I didn't like. Sandals and socks--come on, buddy. But I took her out, we celebrated. It was the right thing to do. You got to support him.
Barney: You're right, Ted. This is a cause for celebration. We need to take him out and celebrate the commitment he and Tom are about to make.
James: Yeah. This is where we're celebrating the commitment that Tom and I are about to make?