Kids, your Aunt Lily has always been one of those people who loves their birthday.Loves it.
It's my birthday!
So it's a good thing she married Marshall.
It's still my birthday!
Because he loves planning birthdays.
Feliz Cumpleanos, baby.The theme of today's birthday breakfast in bed is Spanish Interlude.
It's, uh How on Earth did we end up in the lyrical rolling hills of Northern Spain?
Baby, tonight is gonna be so much fun.Just the five of us, black-tie dinner, and Ted is picking up your favorite cognac pumpkin cheesecake from Edgar's.
Okay.I am off to run your super secret birthday errand.
And I'm taking this guy with me, because I don't like the way he's looking at you.
A new camera.Oh, thank you, Marshall! I love it!
Well, a little bonus.I took some naked pictures of myself before I wrapped it, put a bow on it.
There wasn't a bow on it.
Thank you, honey.I'm gonna get some great shots of our little group with this.
Now, kids, you've seen your Aunt Lily's photo Leather bound, acid-free paper, adorable handwritten captions.And most importantly, the group shot.Cute photo, right, kids? But what you don't see is what happened 10 seconds before this picture was taken.
Okay, I wanna get the perfect group shot.Marshall, sit between Robin and Barney.
Oh, you know, light, color balance, aperture.
You're just saying camera words.Wait.You don't want Barney and me to look like a couple in this picture, - do you?
Of course I don't! You two aren't gonna last.I'm going for timeless here.
How dare you!
That is so rude!
Totally true.We're running on fumes here.But still rude.
run on fumes ガス欠
We hated Lily's group shots.
Okay, maybe I get a little bossy, but I just wanna remember those times.Like tonight.I can't imagine a better birthday than being here, with just my four best friends.Yay! And Ted's here now.Yay!
Happy birthday! This is Amanda.
Ted, you were supposed to bring a cheesecake, but instead you brought two grocery bags and a woman we've never seen before.Hi, I'm Marshall.Welcome to our home.Start talking.
grocery bag ガス欠
Well, Amanda's gonna make Lily a cake.She's a chef.We met when I was at a restaurant last week, and I sent some soup back.Luckily she's got such pretty hair, I didn't mind eating a little bit of it.
They call me The Shedder at work.
I'm so glad you're making my birthday cake.
In honor of Lily's 32nd birthday, I've got a lot of great games planned, - starting with Lilial Pursuit.
Okay, who's got number one?
Of course you do.Okay, Amanda goes first.Thirty-two seconds on the clock to answer as many questions as possible.And, go! Question one, what is Lily's favorite color?
Well, she's wearing pink, so I'm gonna say pink.
Yeah, that's Robin.
Oh.Uh - Her favorite color is elbow.
I believe Ted was mouthing the word yellow. Which also would've been wrong.
This game is called Gilding The Lily.
Thank you.Okay, you've all written down your favorite things about the birthday girl, and, Lily-pad, you guess who wrote what.Lily makes everyone in her life, from her friends to her students
Lily's a kindergarten teacher.That's what he means by students.
feel loved.She makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies ever, can recite every line from Goonies
Lily saw Goonies in the theater right after her parents separated.For a long time after that, she had real trouble trusting people.
and she's the strongest person I've ever met.I can't imagine my life without her.I love you, Lily.
Of course it was me.
So sweet.Okay.Lily, you try to guess who wrote this.You seem really nice.
I'm gonna guess Amanda.
No, that was me.And I meant every word.
Well, I should get back to that cake.
Okay, let me know if you need anything.All right, quick, let's do the group photo.Everybody gather around the fireplace.
Wait, hang on.I'll let Amanda know.
Oh, no, that's okay.She's busy in the kitchen.Let's not bother her.
Come on.Wait, hang on a second.You don't want Amanda in the photo, do you?
No, no.It's just, you know, auto focus, shutter speed, zoom.
Lily, what's going on?
Who wants a party hat? Hey, look.Look, I'm a bird! Let's all be birds!
Lily! Tell me the truth!
No, of course not! I'm not gonna let another one of your dumb skanks ruin my precious memories!
Lily, what are you talking about?
Ted, you always do this.You bring girls that we barely know to all our big group events.
I do not!
Oh, really? Oh.Well, let's just take a little walk down Random Skank Lane.
Or we could just keep on strolling down Best Birthday Ever Avenue.
stroll down 散歩する
Do I get a vote? Skank Lane.Skank Lane!
Hey, hey, guys, I've composed a song for the evening.Follow along.The chorus goes like this.Happy, Happy Lily Day Happy, Happy
Christmas morning, four years ago.Our first Christmas together, just the five of us.Oh, Ted, here's another fun little trivia game.It's called Name That Bitch.
It's It is Sa San
Wrong.You're thinking of Santa, 'cause it was Christmas.
Fun fact, each year, my mother has Easter tea with her friend Bunny.Okay, not that fun.
Yeah, I remember her name.It's Sara.
Close.It's Lailanie.She just had to come to Christmas because you said, Guys, she might be the one. And she's not the only might be the one. New Year's Eve, 2007.Barney, Lily, Robin, Ted, Marshall, and she's the one Emily.Robin's Uncle Cecil's funeral.Marshall, Lily, Robin, Barney, Ted, and this-just-proves-you-find-the-one- when-you're-not-looking Isabelle.My appendix surgery.Robin, Marshall, Barney, Lily, Ted, and Well, this one you admitted, you were just trying to bang.Respect.
Oh, hey, remember this yoga instructor you brought to my birthday last year?
Thank you.Oh, my God.You guys are not gonna believe who just came in.Don't look, don't look! Why aren't you looking? It's Slash from Guns N' Roses.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Okay, okay.Group shot.Group shot! Come on!
And we got it! We got a picture with Slash on my birthday.Awesome, right? Right?
We were there.We know how this ends.
You know what's funny about this picture? He was grabbing my ass.
Really? He was grabbing my ass, too.
He was grabbing my ass, too.How many hands does that guy have?
No wonder he's such a good guitarist.
Actually, sorry, dude.I thought that you were Lily.
Wait a second, look at these pictures again.Barney has the same pose in each shot, and these are, like, years apart.
Ah, yes, about that.I never take a bad picture.Never have.Never will.
Dude, there has to be a bad picture of you.
Nope! Not one.
What about from elementary school? Everyone has bad pictures from school.
Not the Barnacle.I always look drop-dead, stone-cold amazing.Unlike Marshall, who just looks dead, stoned, and cold.
drop-dead 目もくらむ stone-cold 押しも押されもせぬ
He was right, kids.Your Uncle Marshall does a lot of things well, but he does not take a good picture.
They're not all bad, okay? Like, here.Here, look at this one, my eyes are open.
You did put a bow on it!
Chip and dip, Barney?
A-ha! Got it! A bad picture.
Is it, though?
No, wait.You were eating a chip! Where's the chip?
It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture.I don't know why.Ask God.