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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzBlitzgiving

Narator: Kids, in the fall of 2010, I was hosting my very first Thanksgiving. And I wanted it to be unforgettable.

Ted: Instead of stuffing, I'm going to fill the turkey with... a slightly smaller turkey. It's called a Turturkeykey!

Lily: A Turturkeykey?

Robin: Yeah, I was there for the "insertion." He used shoehorns. I'll be having sides.

insertion ‘}“ü shoehorn ŒCƒxƒ‰ have sides ‚˘‚­‚‚ŕ‚Ě–Ę‚đŽ‚Á‚Ä‚˘‚é

Ted: Your loss. All right, it's dead in here. I'm gonna call it a little early.

I'm soory for your loss ‚˛D—l‚Ĺ‚ˇB

Barney: What? No! You can't go now. It's the night before Thanksgiving. College chicks are back in town. Their moms just made a snide comment about the weight they gained. They called her a bitch, but deep down, they know she's right. And they're about to walk through that door, where we will be waiting with some light beer and some rock hard approval. Wh-what u-up?

Marshall: Yeah. You don't want to bail early, man. You could become The Blitz.

Narator: Blitz was a guy we knew in college. Sadly, he was cursed.

Blitz: Well... I'm calling it a little early.

Ted: Wh... you sure? We got big plans.

Marshall: Yeah. Remember how last week we fired up a sandwich, and we listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz?

Ted: Well, tonight, we're doing the same thing, only with "Weird Al" Yankovic's Greatest Hits and Apocalypse Now.

Marshall: We'll see what happens.

Blitz: Nah, it's Kraft/Croft night mac and cheese and Tomb Raider. Biz-zow!

Narator: You see, every time Blitz left a place, something amazing happened.

Woman: Oh! I'm sorry. I thought this was my room.

Ted: Completely naked!

Marshall: Completely naked!

Blitz: Aw, man!

Marshall: And the movie was awesome.

Blitz: Aw, man!

Ted: At the exact moment Brando first appeared, "Weird Al" launched right into "Eat It."

Blitz: Aw, man!

Narator: And over the years, "The Curse of The Blitz" continued.

Blitz: Well, I'm gonna call it. I just got Madden 2K1, and I can't stop thinking about it.

Tender: Tap's broke! Can't turn 'em off! Free beer for everyone!

Ted: Free beer for everyone!

Marshall: Free beer for everyone!

Blitz: Aw, man!

Marshall: You know what? Ted, go ahead-- leave early to do something lame. Just don't blame us if you become... The Blitz.

Ted: All right, first of all... there's nothing lame about brining a Turturkeykey, copyright pending. And secondly, I don't believe "The Curse of The Blitz" is real.

Narator: Kids, I'd live to regret those words. You see, the "Curse of Blitz" could be passed from one person to the next, at any moment. Blitz had gotten the curse from Jerry Windheim, back in freshman year, who got it years before that from Davey Beaterman. The original Blitz, Matt Blitz, was a guy who went to Wesleyan back in the '60s. He dropped out right before the school went co-ed. And then, Thanksgiving morning...

Ted: What the hell happened here?

Robin: Hey! Morning, Blitz!

Ted: Aw, man! No, no! Let's get one thing straight, okay? I am not The Blitz.

Barney: My Blitzy lies over the ocean; My Blitzy lies over the sea; My Blitzy lies over the ocean; So bring back my Blitzy...

Ted: Please stop. Okay, fine.

Barney:...To me.

Lily: The Gentleman!

Everyone: The Gentleman!

Ted: Wait! Wait! Wait! What's that? What's "The Gentleman"?

Lily: Oh, you had to be there, Blitz. Yes.

Ted: I'm not The Blitz! Zoey?

Zoey: Morning, Blitz!

Narator: Kids, you remember Zoey. For the last two months, she'd been making my life hell.

Zoey: Thanks, guys! Last night was amazing! The Gentleman!

Everyone: The Gentle...

Ted: How could you, my best friends in the world, hang out with my mortal enemy, then let her sleep in the tub where I clean myself?!

mortal Ž€‚ˇ‚ׂŤ

Lily: Sorry, Ted. We can explain. After you Blitzed out last night...

Ted:I'm not The Blitz!

Lily: Oh, my God... That's Zoey! That's Ted's enemy. Which means she's our enemy. Let's take this bitch down.

Lily: Huh? Huh? Who's got your back? Now let's have dinner!

Ted: Finish the story, Red.

Lily: Okay, well, we all started brainstorming ways to mess with her. There were a lot of different ideas kicking around.

Barney: And then I'm just going to leave her there... buck-naked, covered in candle wax, tied to the bed.

Marshall: Barney, I know that Ted doesn't like that girl, but that's a little extreme.

Barney: Wait... Ted doesn't like that girl?

Lily: Okay. Wh...? Well, I got it. You see that silk scarf? I'm going to steal it.

Zoey: Can I... help you?

Lily: Yeah. Yeah! My name is Lily Aldrin. I'm a friend of Ted Mosby's, so you better...

Zoey: You're Lily Aldrin? The painter?!

Lily: Well, yeah.

Zoey: You're amazing! I bought a bunch of your paintings online.

Lily: That was you?!

Zoey: Yeah.

Lily: Oh! Thanks!

Robin: Look, none of us meant for it to happen, but, well, we had an awesome night with her.

Everyone: The Gentleman!

Lily: And then, the craziest thing happened.

Ted: I missed a skateboarding dog?

Lily: Yeah, but that wasn't the crazy part.

Ted: It wasn't?

Zoey: Okay, Marshall. Truth or dare?

Marshall: Okay, awesome. Well, Lily doesn't let me do truths. So, dare.

Zoey: Okay. I dare you to send a picture of your junk to a complete stranger.

Marshall: Best idea ever!

Marshall: Worst idea ever! My junk ended up in some stranger's pocket. If there phone was on vibrate, I basically dry-humped them.

Zoey: Okay. Everybody shout out random numbers.

Blitz: 4, 8... 15, 16, 23, 42!

Zoey: And... send!

Ted: Wait. Blitz was there, too?

Blitz: The Gentleman!

Everyone: The Gentleman!

Blitz: Oh, I was there for the whole thing. Something inside me just said "Grand Theft Auto" can wait a night.

Barney: It was legen-- wait for Ted to leave, 'cause he's now The Blitz-- -- dary. Legendary!

Ted: I'm not The Blitz!

Marshall: I'm afraid you are, Ted. You see, when you left last night, you changed the course of Blitztory.

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