ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I don't feel intimate with her."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzThe Slutty Pumpkin Returns

Thank you.Wait.Where is my cash?

Oh, yeah, I did a little exchange for ya, Canucklehead.This Canadian dollar here is called a loonie.And this two-dollar coin? A toonie.True story.

It's federal currency and you people talk about it like it's a HannahBarbera character.

Not you people, Barney.Our people.

Even though my first date with Naomi was a little awkward, our second date was a lot awkward.

This is the worst kissing of all time! How could she possibly be into this? She sounds like those cows in Temple Grandin's hug machines.

Do you want to listen to some music?

Uh-huh!

Ted, this is our song.Let's make love to this song.Chickety China, the Chinese chicken Have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'

Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom.

X-Files with no lights on, we're dans la maison.

Hey, doofus! It's me: you at age 15.And we made a deal we would always boink any chick that wants to boink us!

doofus ŠÔ”˛‚Ż boink ƒZƒbƒNƒX‚ˇ‚é

Yes, she's beautiful, it's just there's no connection there.I don't feel intimate with her.

intimate e–§‚Č

Intimate? Let me remind you of some things you did feel intimate with when you were 15: a catcher's mitt, an oven mitt, a glass of warm water, a half-open hide-a-bed sofa, a top-loading VCR!

It's not gonna happen!

Come on! It'll take, like, 30 seconds!

Naomi, listen

Shh

You like that, Ted? Do you ike it when I caress your hair? Your hair is so nice to caress.

Why is she saying that word?

I like to caress your hair.

There it is again! Caress! Who says that?

Caress.

The thing is, I like her, okay? I really, really like her.I just don't seem to like anything she says or does.I have to break up with her, don't I?

Yes!

After you sleep with her, yes!

Marshall, I've been thinking about what you said.You're right, we shouldn't move to the suburbs.Let's not make any huge life decisions right now.

Is this because you tried to make waffles with the laptop this morning?

Anyway, I'm gonna call a real estate broker to come look at the house tomorrow.Oh, by the way, I ordered those Minnesota Vikings drapes.You're right, they're totally gonna class up our apartment.

class up “™‹‰‚đ’č‚ß‚é

Okay, yes.It's wrong to bang a drunk chick.But you're an idiot if you don't get, like, a little something.

Yo, Canada.

What? Dammit!

Ha, you answer to Canada now.I'll make you a deal.You wear this costume to the Halloween party tomorrow night, I'll drop it forever.

You can't be serious.

Oh, I am as serious as a poutine shortage in Chicoutimi during a curling bonspiel.

poutine ƒv[ƒeƒBƒ“ shortage •s‘Ť Chicoutimi ƒVƒN[ƒeƒBƒ~ bonspiel ƒJ[ƒŠƒ“ƒO‚ĚŽŽ‡

I don't know what any of those words mean.

Yes.You do.

Oh, that must be the broker.Marshall, will you get it?

Sure.Of course.

Trick or treat!

Oh, my gosh.How cute! I'm sorry, we don't have any candy.Um, we forgot about trick-or-treaters.We don't get any where we live.

Yup.Only get this kind of cuteness in the suburbs.Oh.Look at how sweet and happy and unarmed they all are!

Are you using adorable little children in costumes to manipulate me?

Bye!

I mean, did you even call a real estate broker?

No.I've got Pregnancy Brain like a fiddle and I've been playing you like a fox.

fiddle ź‹\

Oh, Canada Our home and native land

I knew it would be tough to break up with Naomi.But when it's just not there, you can't force it.

Happy Halloween.

And just like that, I was taken back ten years to the hopeful kid in the hanging chad costume, falling head over heels for the Slutty Pumpkin.

head over heels ‚Ü‚Á‹t‚ł‚Ü

I made you something.

Oh.

Your costume from that first night.Although you do realize that even ten years ago, the hanging chad reference was like almost a year old.

Wow I can't believe you made this.

I can't believe you found me.

Stay strong, Teddy.We can do this.I Have to break up with you, just say it.Love Wait, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Say sunsets! Pancakes! Anything! Just don't say You.No!

Barney? Where are you? You're moving slower than John Diefenbaker climbing Mount Hungabee on Boxing Day.Those are all real references to our shared homeland.

I'll be right there.

Can't wait to see you in your costume, Dudley Do-Right.

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