She wasn't jealous at all!
Of course she wasn't jealous.That's the whole dynamic of your relationship.
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, it's like this, my man.Every good relationship has a reacher and a settler.
Exactly.One person reaches for someone out of their league, the other one settles for someone below theirs.
I did not settle for Lily.Okay, yes, she's a little short, and true, my mom says she doesn't have the hips to birth an Eriksen child, but it Oh, my God, you guys think I'm the reacher.
That's why Lily's not jealous.The settler is never jealous of the reacher because where's the reacher gonna go? The settler, Lily, is the best thing that the reacher, Marshall, is ever gonna get.
No! Okay, yes, I'm lucky to have Lily, but Lily is just as lucky to have me! Okay? Neither one of us is the reacher.
Dude, you are so the reacher.You're getting her a horse.
Shh.Take the hit.Take the hit.
Take the hit 受けて立て
Thus ending modern architecture's very brief experiment with the V-frame house.Um.Excuse me for a second.What are you doing here?
Thus このような方法で experiment 新手法
I noticed you forgot something this morning, so I thought I'd bring it by.Your pen.
This is your pen.And you chewed on the end of this recently.
Not a problem, Ted.Your class was on my way to work
No, it's not.
at Come On, Get Up, New York, where I'm an anchor, so
I watch your show all the time.
What? You watch the show? Oh! Well, paint me flattered! Any other fans out there? Oh!
We got Okay, all right.Thanks for coming by, Robin.
Well, tune in tonight.I'm doing a great piece on snail poison.Also, who's got the worst pizza in New York? I'll give you the answer after traffic on the ones, threes, fives, and nines.
Really? You guys watch her show? It's like watching a well-lit aquarium, but not as interesting.And now that I think about it, not as well lit.
Well, the truth is, we watch it for the drinking game.
The who now?
Her morning show comes on so early we're usually still at the bar, so whenever she does an interview, you have to drink every time she says but, um.
But, um.Apparently, she says it a lot.
It's funny.I had a drinking game based on Robin, but it was actually on Robin.I'd pour Peach Schnapps in her bellybutton
Dude, we agreed we wouldn't do this.
Sorry.You're right.She didn't like it anyway.Said it woke her up.Does she really say but, um that much?
That night, we found out just how much she said it.
That's great, but, um
This wasn't your first spelling bee, was it?
Good for you, but, um
But, um But, um But, um But, um But, um But, um But, um But, um But, um But, um But, um
Interesting article in the paper.Says that in every relationship there's a reacher and a settler.
Really? Let me see it.
It's not in this newspaper.It's in one I read awhile back.This newspaper reminded me of the other newspaper.Anyhoo What do you think about that?
Well, I guess sometimes that's the case.
But not in ours.
What? No, of course not.
Right.Well, say, gun to your head, you had to say one of us was the reacher.
Well, I'd say it's neither.That's what makes us great.
Okay, now, there's a gun to my head, and our future children, and our future cat or monkey, depending on who wins the game of Risk we've been playing for three years.
Nope.No reacher, no settler.
Mmm.Mmm.Well, how about this
This went on for a while.Until finally
Our two kids, our eight grandkids, our 11 great-grandkids are all on a plane piloted by Oprah, and it's about to crash into an art museum with all of your favorite paintings, and the only way, the only way to save everything, is just to answer the question.Are you the reacher or the settler?
And Oprah's tried everything?
Everything! You have to decide now!
Well, I guess if I had to say, then maybe I'd say I'm the settler.
How could you say that?
She thinks that she's the settler.I mean, that's it.I gotta prove to her that I am not the reacher.I gotta make her jealous.
Well, that's easy.Here's the plan.Step one, sleep with Jenkins.Step two, I sleep with Jenkins first.Step three, we do step two first.I'm gonna go get started on step two.
Okay, okay, I got something.Remember the other night, the skee ball game? When you were putting nothing but wood in the 50-hole?
Whatever.Just another night for Big Fudge.You thought she was into me?
Full-on lady wood.
Yes.Of course.A plan taketh shape.If Lady Lily's jealousy young Marshall cannot budge, then perchance, fair gentles, Big Fudge can make her jealous.Okay, let me try that again.Lf Lady Lily
budge 態度を変えさせる perchance ひょっとすると
I got it, buddy.I got it.
Ted, I have got a great idea.
Is it clean your hair out of the shower drain when you're done? Seriously, it's like you're trying to carpet the tub.
If you wanted to print out one of your lectures or something, I could read it on air.Coming from a more entertaining source, your students might actually pay attention and learn something.
Oh! You're entertaining? Last night there was three minutes of dead air while you sewed a button back on your sweater.
Look, just because your class likes me more than you
You're a drinking game!
That's why they watch.They made a drinking game out of you.Every time you say but, um, they do a shot.
I don't say but, um.I have never said but, um.
Well, then I guess it's not a very good drinking game, which would mean last night, when Barney and I played it, I didn't get super wasted and throw up all over myself.Wait! I did both of those things, so face!