Robin: Does it smell like strippers in here?
Ted: That's weird, right? Marshall and Lily are getting married!
Lily: Hell, yeah, look at this.
Marshall: Oh, baby, this is it. Let's do this thing.
Lily: Hi. We're here to get married.
Woman: Congratulations. We offer a variety of packages to give you the special day you've always dreamed about.
Marshall: We don't want any of that. Just your basic quickie wedding will be fine.
Woman: Yeah. You know this isn't Vegas, right?
Robin: Well, sure. In Vegas, the casinos pump in oxygen. Here, it looks like everyone brought their own.
Woman: It also takes three days to get a marriage license in New Jersey. The earliest I could book you for is Monday.
Lily: No, no, no, it has to be today. That's the whole point.
Woman: Look, I don't know what to say, but if you guys don't want to book a wedding for Monday or play a round of keno, I can't help you.
Ted: Wait, I don't understand, people get married in Atlantic City all the time.
Woman: Yes, they do, but they don't elope. They choose Atlantic City for its white sand beaches, world-class amenities, and exotic Riviera feel.
Lily: Have you been outside?
Ted: There is half an orca whale rotting not 20 feet from the cabana.
Marshall: You guys, take it easy, guys. Are you sure about this?
Woman: About the marriage laws of the state where I work in a wedding chapel? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Barney: Bright side the bachelor party continues!
Ted: Yes! Continues? You mean "start." He means "start." We went to a strip club.
Lily: Is there any way that we could get a license today?
Woman: You could go to the courthouse. In some extreme circumstances, the waiting period can be waived, but you have to have a good reason.
Lily: Well, we're in love.
Marshall: What better reason could there be?
Woman: The last one I heard was, "I'm going to Iraq tomorrow to defend my country," but, you know, give yours a whirl.
give it a whirl 試しにやってみる
Narator: So we went to the courthouse.
Marshall: God, this is taking forever.
this is taking forever いったい、いつまで待たす気だ！
Robin:Can't believe they're getting married.
Ted: I know. I am so proud of these two. After all they've been through. In fact, that crazy road has led them all the way here to Atlantic City...
Robin: Ted, up here.
Robin: You were just staring at my shirt boobs.
Ted: No! I wasn't. I was checking out the hot body underneath the shirt. Okay, look, maybe I was looking at your shirt, but it's a, it's a funny, funny shirt.
Chinese 2: Hey, it's Barney! Barney!
Chinese 2:...suit up! Legen-...-dary!
Barney: See you.
Ted: What the hell was that?
Barney: A... Chinese guy?
Marshall: Hi. Hello. Uh, we need a marriage license, but we need to skip the waiting period because... We're in love.
Woman 2: Aw. I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now.
Lily: Oh, really?!
Woman 2: Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period, but unfortunately, only a judge can do that.
Lily: Oh. Well, so can we see a judge?
Woman 2: Absolutely.
Woman 2: Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't.
Marshall: Why are you doing this to us?!
Woman 2: 'Cause you're on Candid Camera!
Candid Camera どっきりカメラ
Woman 2: Is what I would say...
Marshall: You know what? We get it.
Lily: Okay, this is a good plan B. Judges are people. People go to the bathroom. A judge is bound to come by eventually, and we'll get married. I'm sure we won't be waiting long.
bound to 〜しなければならない
Marshall: Geez, you go to a vending machine for 30 seconds.
Robin: What? Here?
Ted: Yeah. Got a little time to kill.
Robin: Oh, my God, it's the T-shirt, isn't it?
Ted: No. A little.
Robin: Something is seriously wrong with you.
Ted: So what, is that a no?
Robin: All right, let's do it.
Ted: All right. Um, also...?
Robin: Yes, I'll leave it on.
Barney: Guys, let's bail. This is never gonna happen.
Lily: Look, I know this is turning into a bit of a disaster, but believe me, it's better than the alternative.
disaster 天災 alternative 代替手段
Barney: You throwing a big, free party with lots of booze and food and all your single, desperate girlfriends from college? Yeah, glad we dodged that bullet.
Lily: Judge! Judge, come on. Come on, come on, come on!
Judge: Turn it off.
Lily: Okay. May we please get married today?
Judge: Now, normally I would say no to a request like that, but you two impress me. Just the fact that you've been together for ten years, standing by each other's side through thick and thin, never wavering. What was that?
through thick and thin 終始一貫して
Lily: What was what?
Judge: That little look. What was that?
Marshall: A look of love.
Judge: You two have stood together through thick and thin, right?
Marshall: You know, what's thick? what's thin?
Lily: Yeah, I mean, all... yeah.
Marshall: I have.
Judge: All right, what was that look? What's going on?
Barney: They broke up over the summer. Lily totally ran off to San Francisco and these two just had sex in the closet. What? We're under oath.
Ted: No, we're not.
Barney: Yeah, we are. He's a judge.
Ted: Wh-- Did we take an oath? Do you even know what an oath is?
Barney: Uh, yeah. Courthouse. Oath. We're under it.
Marshall: Guys. It's looking like this isn't gonna happen.
Lily: No, Marshall, we are gonna get married today.
Marshall: Baby, anyplace we go, we're gonna need a marriage license.
Lily: Except international waters. So let's find a ship captain. A ship captain can marry us. There's boats all over this place.
Ted: Oh, is that what those wooden things are floating between the garbage?
Lily: This is a great idea. This is gonna work. Let's go. Excuse me. Are you a ship captain?
Woman: This is my machine.
Marshall: I should go talk to her.
Robin: No, let me.