Narator: Kids, back in the fall of 2007, I was dating this girl named...oh God, what was her name? It's been 23 years, I can't remember all this stuff. For the sake of the story, let's call her...
For the sake of 〜のために
Ted: Everyone, this is Blah-blah.
Blah-blah: Please call me Blah.
Marshall: So, Blah, how did you two meet?
Blah-blah: Well, I was taking this cooking class, French fusion, and everyone already had a partner but then I looked up, and across a crowded room, I saw Ted. It was magical.
Ted: It was so magical.
Narator: Except it wasn't.
Ted: She's gonna tell some bogus story about a cooking class because she's embarrassed we met online.
Marshall: Ay, Chihuahua.
Ted: What? There's no stigma anymore.
Robin: Oh, there's a stigma. That's why people always say there's no stigma anymore.
Barney: So, she's hot.
Ted: Oh, she's gorgeous.
Barney: Then she's crazy.
Ted: No she's not.
Barney: Ted, the only hot girls that troll the Internet for dudes are crazy, hookers or dudes.
Ted: OK, she's not crazy, she's not a hooker, she's not a dude. Though there's this guy I pass on my work every day who's all three, scares the crap out of me.
scare the crap out of ひどく怖がらせる
Barney: There's no way she's above the line on the hot-crazy scale.
Ted: She's not even on the hot-crazy scale. She's just hot.
Robin: Wait, hot-crazy scale?
Barney: Let me illustrate.
Barney: A girl is allowed to be crazy...
Barney:... as long as she is equally hot.
Barney: Thus, if she's this crazy, she has to be this hot.
Barney: If she's this crazy, she has to be this hot.
Barney: You want the girl to be above this line.
Barney: Also known as the Vicky Mendoza diagonal. This girl I dated, she played jump rope with that line. She'd shave her head...
Barney:...then lose ten pounds.
Barney: She'd stab me with a fork...
Barney:... then get a boob job.
boob job 豊胸手術
Barney: I should give her a call.
Ted: OK, so please, just play along with her fake story. We met in a cooking class.
Barney: I don't know, Ted, I don't know if I can just play along with your crazy girlfriend's fake story. Now, if you had said fake breasts...
Ted: She's not crazy.
Barney: OK, we'll see.
Blah-blah: Long story short, thank goodness I'm such a bad cook or I never would have met Ted.
Long story short =to make a long story short 早い話が
Barney: It's crazy how cute that is. It's crazy.
Ted: You know who else has a really cute story of how they met? Marshall and Lily. You guys should tell that story right now.
Marshall: All right, but spoiler alert, it ends with everyone saying 'aw.'
spoiler alert ネタバレ注意
Marshall: Starts with it too.
Narator: When you've been a couple as long as Marshall and Lily, telling the how we met story becomes a choreographed dance.
Lily: It was late August 1996.
Marshall: Lily and I were both freshmen moving into.
Lily, Marshall: Hewitt Hall.
Marshall: And she needed some help setting up her stereo.
Lily: For some unknown reason, I felt drawn to room 110.
feel drawn to 〜に惹かれる
Marshall: As if she knew that someone very special was behind that door.
Lily: And as fate would have it, that someone was Marshall.
as fate would have it 運命の定めで
Marshall, Lily: It was love at first sight.
love at first sight 一目ぼれ
Marshall: I know, right?
Narator: Now, they perfected that story over hundreds of tellings. The first time Marshall told it to me, it was a little different.
Marshall: Dude, this black-haired Goth chick stopped by today, wanna tap that.
Blah-blah: You guys are so lucky. You know, when Ted and I were cooking and our hands touched for the first time, I knew right then that after class he would take me up on the roof, kiss me and give me a rose, which he did.
Blah-blah: Saw 'aw.'
Blah-blah: I know, right? I'll get the next round, OK guys.
Ted: Anybody'd be stressed out meeting new people. She's not crazy. Crazy generous maybe, buying us drinks.
Ted: Shut up.
Blah-blah: So, we know how Marshall and Lily met. Robin, how did you and Barney meet?
Robin: No, no no no no no no no no no no no no no. Barney and I are not together. No. No.
Barney: Really? Sixteen no's. Really?
Blah-blah: So, you're single.
Blah-blah: Hm. Oh, so, pretty and single and friends with Ted. Great.
Ted: You know who else is friends with Ted? Marshall. How did we meet? It's a good story, I'm gonna tell it right now. Uh, it was the first day of college.
Narator: Kids, to understand this story, you need to know that your Uncle Marshall was doing something that lots of college kids do. How do I say this? He was, uh, let's say eating a sandwich.
Guy: Dude, I heard the dean is coming. Put out your sandwich.
dean 学部長 Put out 外に出す
Marshall: Good afternoon, sir. I'm Marshall Eriksen.
Ted: Sir? Please, just call me Ted.
Marshall: OK, Dean Ted.
Ted: Whoa. Someone's been eating a sandwich.
Marshall: What? No. Really? I don't know 'cause I don't even know what sandwiches smell like. My parents are gonna donate a lot of money to this school.
Ted: So you're bottom bunk, that's cool. I wanted the top bunk anyway.
Marshall: What do you mean?
Ted: I'm your new roommate.
Marshall: This is so unfair.
Marshall: I didn't realize Ted wasn't the dean until later that night.
Marshall: You're not the dean.