ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Long story short, thank goodness I'm such a bad cook or I never would have met Ted."

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“3yŒ´‘čzHow I Met Everyone Else

Narator: Kids, back in the fall of 2007, I was dating this girl named...oh God, what was her name? It's been 23 years, I can't remember all this stuff. For the sake of the story, let's call her...

For the sake of `‚Ě‚˝‚ß‚É

Ted: Everyone, this is Blah-blah.

Blah-blah: Please call me Blah.

Marshall: So, Blah, how did you two meet?

Blah-blah: Well, I was taking this cooking class, French fusion, and everyone already had a partner but then I looked up, and across a crowded room, I saw Ted. It was magical.

Ted: It was so magical.

Narator: Except it wasn't.

Ted: She's gonna tell some bogus story about a cooking class because she's embarrassed we met online.

bogus ‹U‚Ě

Marshall: Ay, Chihuahua.

Ted: What? There's no stigma anymore.

stigma ‰˜–ź

Robin: Oh, there's a stigma. That's why people always say there's no stigma anymore.

Barney: So, she's hot.

Ted: Oh, she's gorgeous.

Barney: Then she's crazy.

Ted: No she's not.

Barney: Ted, the only hot girls that troll the Internet for dudes are crazy, hookers or dudes.

troll ’§”­“IƒƒbƒZ[ƒW‚đ“Še‚ˇ‚é

Ted: OK, she's not crazy, she's not a hooker, she's not a dude. Though there's this guy I pass on my work every day who's all three, scares the crap out of me.

scare the crap out of ‚Đ‚Ç‚­•|‚Ş‚ç‚š‚é

Barney: There's no way she's above the line on the hot-crazy scale.

Ted: She's not even on the hot-crazy scale. She's just hot.

Robin: Wait, hot-crazy scale?

Barney: Let me illustrate.

Barney: A girl is allowed to be crazy...

Barney:... as long as she is equally hot.

Barney: Thus, if she's this crazy, she has to be this hot.

Thus ]‚Á‚Ä

Barney: If she's this crazy, she has to be this hot.

Barney: You want the girl to be above this line.

Barney: Also known as the Vicky Mendoza diagonal. This girl I dated, she played jump rope with that line. She'd shave her head...

diagonal ŽÎ‚ߐü

Barney:...then lose ten pounds.

Barney: She'd stab me with a fork...

stab “Ë‚ŤŽh‚ˇ

Barney:... then get a boob job.

boob job –L‹šŽčp

Barney: I should give her a call.

Ted: OK, so please, just play along with her fake story. We met in a cooking class.

Barney: I don't know, Ted, I don't know if I can just play along with your crazy girlfriend's fake story. Now, if you had said fake breasts...

Ted: She's not crazy.

Barney: OK, we'll see.

Blah-blah: Long story short, thank goodness I'm such a bad cook or I never would have met Ted.

Long story short =to make a long story short ‘‚˘˜b‚Ş

Barney: It's crazy how cute that is. It's crazy.

Ted: You know who else has a really cute story of how they met? Marshall and Lily. You guys should tell that story right now.

Blah-blah: Yeah.

Marshall: All right, but spoiler alert, it ends with everyone saying 'aw.'

spoiler alert ƒlƒ^ƒoƒŒ’ˆÓ

Lily: Aw.

Marshall: Starts with it too.

Narator: When you've been a couple as long as Marshall and Lily, telling the how we met story becomes a choreographed dance.

choreographed U‚č•t‚Ż‚ł‚ę‚˝

Lily: It was late August 1996.

Marshall: Lily and I were both freshmen moving into.

Lily, Marshall: Hewitt Hall.

Marshall: And she needed some help setting up her stereo.

Lily: For some unknown reason, I felt drawn to room 110.

feel drawn to `‚ÉŽä‚Š‚ę‚é

Marshall: As if she knew that someone very special was behind that door.

Lily: And as fate would have it, that someone was Marshall.

as fate would have it ‰^–˝‚Ě’č‚ß‚Ĺ

Marshall, Lily: It was love at first sight.

love at first sight ˆę–Ú‚Ú‚ę

Marshall: Hi.

Lily: Hi.

Blah-blah: Ohhh.

Marshall: I know, right?

Narator: Now, they perfected that story over hundreds of tellings. The first time Marshall told it to me, it was a little different.

Marshall: Dude, this black-haired Goth chick stopped by today, wanna tap that.

Blah-blah: You guys are so lucky. You know, when Ted and I were cooking and our hands touched for the first time, I knew right then that after class he would take me up on the roof, kiss me and give me a rose, which he did.

Blah-blah: Saw 'aw.'

Everyone: Aw.

Blah-blah: I know, right? I'll get the next round, OK guys.

Ted: Anybody'd be stressed out meeting new people. She's not crazy. Crazy generous maybe, buying us drinks.

Ted: Shut up.

Blah-blah: So, we know how Marshall and Lily met. Robin, how did you and Barney meet?

Robin: No, no no no no no no no no no no no no no. Barney and I are not together. No. No.

Barney: Really? Sixteen no's. Really?

Blah-blah: So, you're single.

Robin: Yeah.

Blah-blah: Hm. Oh, so, pretty and single and friends with Ted. Great.

Ted: You know who else is friends with Ted? Marshall. How did we meet? It's a good story, I'm gonna tell it right now. Uh, it was the first day of college.

Narator: Kids, to understand this story, you need to know that your Uncle Marshall was doing something that lots of college kids do. How do I say this? He was, uh, let's say eating a sandwich.

Guy: Dude, I heard the dean is coming. Put out your sandwich.

dean Šw•”’ˇ Put out ŠO‚ɏo‚ˇ

Ted: Hey.

Marshall: Good afternoon, sir. I'm Marshall Eriksen.

Ted: Sir? Please, just call me Ted.

Marshall: OK, Dean Ted.

Ted: Whoa. Someone's been eating a sandwich.

Marshall: What? No. Really? I don't know 'cause I don't even know what sandwiches smell like. My parents are gonna donate a lot of money to this school.

Ted: So you're bottom bunk, that's cool. I wanted the top bunk anyway.

Marshall: What do you mean?

Ted: I'm your new roommate.

Marshall: This is so unfair.

Marshall: I didn't realize Ted wasn't the dean until later that night.

Marshall: You're not the dean.

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