Narator: During the fall of 2008, I had a little problem.
Ted: All right, I got to get to Stella's.
Barney: Tonight's the night guys, I've tried it before, I've failed every time. This time, I'm gonna do it. Tonight I pick up a lesbian. Robin, I need your lipstick.
Ted: Oh, man! Take pictures, all right?
Barney: Bye Ted.
Narator:I lived in New York, but Stella lived accross the river in New Jersey.
Ted: Oh, man!
Narator: Which meant, I was always taking the train.
Man: What's up, Ted?
Ted: Hi, Matisse.
Barney: T-Diddy! You missed it!
Lily: Robin got that national anchor job!
Robin: And we got a free bottle of champagne!
Marshall: But it's empty now.
Ted: Oh, man!
Narator: And as a result, it seamed like I was missing out on everything.
Stella: Sorry we couldn't wait. It was getting cold.
Ted: Oh, man!
Lucy: Hey big guy!.
Ted: What's up, G?
Stella: Are you okay?
Ted: Yeah, I'm fine, it's just you know I want to hang out with you guys, I want to hang out with my friends. It just feel like I'm spending all my time on the train.
Stella: Okay, how about this? Why don't you ask your friends to come up here sometime?
Ted: That's a great idea!
Marshall: You want us to go to New Jersey? Oh, that is rich.
Barney: Well, for starters, I don't have any of my gold medallions anymore. I sold them when they went out of style, 400 years ago.
Lily: Oh, sorry, Ted. I'm a born and raised New Yorker. I'm programmed to despise and loathe New Jersey and all that it stands for. Why am I telling you this? You hate New Jersey more than anyone.
despise 〜を見下す loathe 〜をひどく嫌う
Ted: What? I don't hate New Jersey! Why would you think that?
Ted: And then he cut in front of me! God, I hate line cutters more than I hate New Jersey. Well that's not true, there's nothing I hate more than New Jersey.
cut in front of の前に割り込む
Marshall: Hey, you want us to wait for you ?
Ted: No, it might be awhile, I gotta drop a massive New Jersey.
Ted: Okay, so New Jersey's not my favourite place but once Stella and I get married, and she and Lucy move in with me, I'll never set foot in New Jersey again. Unless I'm going to see a Giants game or, flying down at Newark, or, God forbid, disposing of a body.
God forbid that なんてとんでもない disposing of a body 死体遺棄
Lily: Ted, if you murder me, and bury me in New Jersey I'll haunt you for ever.
Ted: But if I murder you and bury you in somewhere else ?
Lily: I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons.
Narator: Kids, your aunt Robin was sick of her job in Metro News One. She was sick of the low production value.
Robin: I'm Robin Scherbatsky and your watching Etro News One at 11:00 and again at 1:00.
Narator: Sick of the stories she had to report.
Robin: So hurry up and get your votes in for New York's cutest doggie.
Narator: And most of all, she was sick of all the stupids puns.
Robin: Four transit workers were electrocuted when a subway train jumped the tracks. Stay tuned for the shocking derails. Joel, people died.
Narator: So when the call came in that she got the big national anchor job, she finally got to say the words she'd been dreaming of saying for years.
Robin: Tonight will be my last broadcast. I came to Metro News One as a little caterpillar, and for four years, this desk has been my cocoon, but tonight, I emerge, an ambitious butterfly.
Marshall: Why does she sound like an idiot? Did she have a stroke?
have a stroke 卒中に襲われる
Ted: Yeah, a stroke of genius. This speech is really good.
Robin: With one eye on the horizon, one eye on the truth, and one eye, on all of you.
Lily: You wrote it for her, didn't you?
Ted: It's a modified version of the speech I gave when I had to leave the swim team because of the chronic inner ear situation.
Marshall: I thought you were the towel-boy.
Ted: It's part of the team!
Narator: So that Saturday, as Robin went off for her first day at her new job, we're all headed accross the river to experience some of that crazy New Jersey night life.
Ted: Okay, Stella couldn't find a sitter, so we can't go out. Instead, we're all gonna hang out here, and it's gonna be just as awesome.
Stella: Right? We got board games, we got movies, and I think there may be some beer, out in the garage.
Marshall: Ted, this is pathetic! It's Saturday night, we should be out at the bar, drinking alcohol! Now, I know this sounds depressing, bordering on tragic, but it's just a fact.
pathetic 哀れな depressing 意気消沈させる tragic 悲惨な
Barney: Yeah, and I want another crack at that chick, Doris. I know I can land that lesbian plane.
Marshall: No snakes on that plan.
Ted: Okay, guys, come on, you promised. Let's just hang out here, try to have fun. I mean, we're all together. Friends hanging out, isn't that would really matters?
Lily: Okay, if we take the next train, we could be at MacLaren's by 11:00!
Barney: We can be there by 10:00?
Lily: No, I have to change first, I'm not walking into MacLaren's smelling like New Jersey.
Stella: You guys really hate it here?
Marshall: What? No! Stells.
Stella: No, no, I get it, I mean you guys are all New Yorkers, you need to hang out at a bar. Well, you could, just hang out on the coolest bar in state, which is so close it will blow your mind.
Stella: And boom goes the dynamite. The coolest bar in New Jersey.
Lily: Yeah, it probably is.
Ted: This is great! We got darts, half a ping-pong table, a fish bowl, look what turned out to be an awesome night as promised. Maybe we can drop some bac-o's in here, and make them fight.
Barney: No thanks. I don't mess with fish bowls unless they have my two favorite fish. The sucker fish and the blow fish. What up?
Ted: For blow fish? I don't think so.
Marshall: You're better than that.
Lily: Not good enough.
Barney: I am not lowering this, until someone gives me the respect of another person's knuckles tapping against mine in a light but decisive manner. Pretty-pretty Pretty-pretty Pretty-pret who's a pretty baby ? Then know this, until it gets what it wants, nay, deserves, this fist, will not yield. It will not yield.
Stella: So who wants to play Scrabble?
Lily: Sure. Whatever.
Stella: Oh, heads up. The X tile is a little hard to read because, a couple years ago, it went all the way through my dog. You konw, maybe we should get a dog again, When you move in.
Ted: When I what?
Stella: Oh great, there's Robin.
Lily: I thought they were moving in with you.
Ted: So did I. Oh God, am I moving to New Jersey?
Barney: Hey guys, I bet that dog was really flying high after it swallow the little X. Nailed it! Come on!
Ted: I can't live here.
Marshall: It wouldn't be that bad. You could put a mini- fridge over there and maybe some knock hockey.
Barney: Knock hockey. Nice one, big mon.
Ted: Yeah, I meant New Jersey in general, not this basement. She wants me to move here? I don't get it. We discussed this months ago.