Marshall: I hate you.
Barney: I am so sorry. It's a sickness. I'm the real victim here.
sickness 病気 victim 被害者
Marshall: Twice! Twice in a row you took my candy! That was my candy!
Barney: I know but tonight...
Marshall: No, forget it. You're such a jackass!
Barney: I though you were gonna call me a jerk. All right, I'm sorry. But I will make it up to you. Tonight, we'll go to a college bar near NYU. The Scorpion & The Toad. I figure in a younger crowd you'll seem more mature, more worldly. And, as a third-year law student, more smarter.
mature 熟年の worldly 世慣れた
Marshall: OK, but no magic. How did you do that?
Barney: I'm taking a leak, dumb-ass.
take a leak おしっこをする
Narator: Robin and I went apartment hunting with Aunt Lily.
Lily: But I need the freedom to really chase my passion, which was painting but now, I think it's music, or spoken words. Maybe both. God, isn't life amazing.
Lily: It is so great to see you Ted. Ah! I'm gonna get the key for the lockbox.
Ted: She's miserable. She's realized she's made a huge mistake. Her and Marshall will be back together in a week, I love it!
Robin: No, you just want Lily to be miserable. The truth is she's happy.
Ted: Trust me. I've known Lily for nine years.
Robin: Trust me, I'm a girl!
Ted: Yeah. But you're Canadian.
Robin: Why do you always have to bring that up?
Ted: You're our weird neighbors!
Robin: You bring it up every time...
Ted: No, alright. Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.
Robin: You're on.
You're on その話に乗った
Ted: Five American bucks.
Robin: Dammit! OK, so how do we get the truth out of her?
Ted: Tequila. It's her weakness. Three shots, she tells you the truth about anything.
Lily: I hope this is my new home. Yeah, I'm gonna take that first apartment.
Barney: Marshall Eriksen, suit up!
Marshall: No way.
Barney: Yeah you're good in that. Let's go.
Marshall: Wait. Empty your pockets. Come on.
Barney: Come on...
Barney: There is nothing in my sl...
Marshall: Oh is that right?
Barney: Huh? Huh? Let's go.
Marshall: Behind my ear.
Barney: Oh there is nothing behind your... Ohh!
Girl: Yeah, I'm in pre-law. The workload's killing me though.
Marshall: Oh, tell me about it. I'm a third year at Columbia Law, so... If the workload does kill you I can probably get a conviction. Yeah.
Barney: You must be majoring in chemistry 'cause what I'm picking up between us is, uh... College lesbian phase.
Girl: Listen, I gotta go. But it'd be great to see you again.
Marshall: Yes, it would. It really would.
Girl: Maybe I'll see you here sometimes.
Marshall: Probably not. I'm never here, so...
Girl: You know, I do have a phone number.
Marshall: Great. Nice.
Barney: Hi, I'm Barney.
Marshall: Oh, no.
Barney: Do you mind giving my friend your phone number?
Marshall: Whoo! I did it! I got a girl's phone number! Oh, and her handwriting is so cute. Look. I'll take her out for Chinese food and then we'll walk through the park. It'll be so... What?
Barney: Sorry buddy, I'm taking this one too.
Marshall: I'll kill you!
Lily: And then I discovered this area, North beach. Best beach ever! Oh, I've been blabbering on about my summer. How are you guys doing? And hey, how is Marshall?
Marshall: Gimme the card! I swear I'm gonna...
Barney: I'm not giving you...
Lily: That is so good to hear. Oh, hold on. This could be about he apartment.
Ted: OK, we're way past truth-telling Lily and about to hit Cinco-de-Mayo-1998 Lily, and I'm not cleaning that up again. So, congratulations. You win, she's happy.
Lily: I didn't get it. That first apartment. I... I waited too long and somebody else got it.
Ted: Interesting. Wow Lily, you, uh, seem to be having a pretty strong reaction to losing this apartment. I wonder is it because it reminds you of something you lost because you couldn't commit?
Robin: No, Lily you're crying over the crown moulding and the real hardwood floor. There's no deeper meaning, right Lily? Just quit crying and tell him.
Lily: The apartment is a metaphor for Marshall!
Barney: Stop it!
Marshall: You don't want to see me when I'm angry!
Barney: Stop! If we can't settle this like gentlemen, then no one gets the number.
Marshall: Stop the cab!
Barney: No, wait. Come on. Wait. Marshall! 81st and 1st please. Oh, she does have a cute handwriting.