Barney: Hey, guys, what's the big emergency? Oh and B the W: I am never speaking to Ted again.
B the W =by the way
Lily: Hum. Really, never? Not even if, say, butterflies flew out of his ass?
Marshall: Hum. Ted? Could you grab me the fondue pot?
Marshall: He has no idea. And up we go.
up we go よいしょと
Marshall: Thank you.
Ted: Hum. Hum. What?
Barney: I came here this morning because... I want to apologize.
Ted: Apology accepted, Barney. As you can see, I do just fine on my own. I don't need a baby-sitter.
Barney: See. All this time, I thought you need a wingman to fly, but the truth is you... you've got your own wings now.
Barney: Since you and Robin split, you've been gestating. Growing in your cocoon. And last night... you burst out of that cocoon..., like a majestic, uh... gosh, what is it that comes out of a cocoon? I was always bad at science.
gestate 練る cocoon 繭
Lily: He's gonna say it.
Ted: A butterfly? What?
Barney: Nothing, buddy.
Ted: Ow. Why did that hurt so...? Oh my God! I have a tattoo.
Barney: Oh, that's not a tattoo. That, dear boy, is a tramp stamp.
Ted: Tramp stamp?
Barney: You know, a ho tat. Ass antlers. A Panama City license plate.
Narrator: And suddenly it all came back to me.
Ted: ...Dary. Legendary! Man, I am so winning this breakup.
Amy: Mm, I just broke up with my boyfriend Steve. He was totally annoying. He was like, "I think you're the one, I want to marry you."
Ted: What a wuss. Do you think exes can be friends?
wuss 臆病者 exes =expenses
Amy: Yeah. Sure, I mean, we're still friends, right Steve?
Ted: Hey, your name is Steve. And her ex-boyfriend's name is Steve. What are the odds of that...? Wait.
Ted: No no no no no no no. Give me this.
Barney: Oh, yeah, that'll get it out.
Marshall: Maybe you should try club soda.
Ted: Oh, damn it, it really hurts. I need like, some ointment or something. What is this? Spanish massage oil. Spanish massage oil? What happened here last night?
Marshall: Last night got weird.
Gael: Feel the emotions release.
Marshall: Think I just got over being chunky in the ninth grade.
Gael: You're beautiful.
Marshall: I am beautiful.
Gael: Experience your food.
Gael: Try the mango.
Gael: Okay, that's enough of the fruit.
Marshall: We're sorry, Ted. It'll never happen again.
Lily: It meant nothing to us. It just felt really really really good.
Ted: I can't even look at you two right now.
Lily: He got a tramp stamp.
Ted: All right, first of all, this isn't one of those, "I came all the way over here because I want you back" things. There'll be no startling confession of love, no sweet indie rock song that swells up just as we're about to kiss, none of that crap. Got it?
swell up 膨らむ
Ted: Good. Now, here's the thing. It sucks that you came back from Argentina with someone as awesome as Gael. And I know I have no right to be upset at you. We're broken up, life goes on, whatever. But you know what? We-we never did this. We-we had this polite breakup with no irrational yelling and that's just wrong. So I'm gonna yell irrationally for a while and you're just gonna have to stand there and deal with it, okay?
polite 礼儀正しい irrational 不合理な
Robin: If you feel like you need to do that, then...
Ted: I think I do! I really think I do! So now, I'm yelling!
Robin: You shaved.
Ted: I did.
Robin: I like the beard.
Ted: I liked it too, but it was getting kind of hot. Maybe in the winter, I'll grow it back out! Okay, I'm done.
Robin: I know it was weird showing up with Gael. I'm sorry.
Ted: Look, us breaking up, it was the right thing. But it took some time to get over you, you know? I-I'm still getting over you. But you, you were over it the minute they started the in-flight movie.
Robin: Over it? My first three days in Argentina, I cried my eyes out. I missed you so much. I wanted to go and prove how adventurous I am, but the truth is, it was really lonely. And that's why Gael happened.
Ted: You weren't trying to win the break-up?
Robin: I was trying to survive it.
Ted: Okay. No. See, look, that all sounds good, and we'll still be friends and move on, but..., did he have to be so hot? The guy's an Adonis.
Robin: He's not an Adonis.
Ted: He's the Cadillac of rebound guys. Marshall has a crush on him. The guy's perfect.
have a crush on に一目ぼれする
Robin: He's not perfect.
Ted: Oh, come on. He's hot, he windsurfs, he massages things. Name one way I'm better than that guy.
Robin: "You're bigger".
Ted: Don't patronize me. If anything, he may even be a little bit taller.
Robin: No, Ted... "you're bigger".
Ted: I win!
Narrtor: Kids, I can't remember exactly what helped me get through the whole Robin-Gael incident. I'm sure it was something profound and meaningful and not at all macho and petty. But after that, I was back on my feet. And what followed was a new era in my life. A crazy time unlike anything that came before. It's funny looking back on those days, knowing now exactly what I was heading towards, and what was heading towards me.
profound 難解な petty ささいな
Barney: Go for Barney.
Marshall: Hey, man. It's Marshall. Check your e-mail. Sent you something.
Barney: What is it?
Marshall: Just a new website. Slapcountdown.com.
Barney: What does this mean? Marshall? Ma...?
Barney: No. No!