In the spring of 2009, I'd been hired to design a new headquarters for Goliath National Bank.And I was eager to add as much of my voice as an architect into the plans as possible.
Wood beams bathed in natural light in the atrium.They're gonna love it!
wood beam 木造梁 bath 浴びる
There was only one problem, and his name was Bilson.
Wood? Natural light? Uh, no! Natural light reminds the workers that there is an outside world where they have family and friends.We want to crush that! You show up in the dark, you go home in the dark.You spend your whole damn day in the dark!
I need to hear Lily's voice.
Who said you could leave?
Bilson was killing every original idea I had.Then, one day, GNB took him off the project and created a new task force to oversee my designs.Suddenly, everything changed.
We'll have a rooftop Zen garden for quiet contemplation.We'll have a reflecting pool in the lobby where local children can come to make wishes.The new GNB, a place of work that you can call home.Thank you, and, um, welcome home.
Everything was going great, until one day, in the elevator
Whoa! Yeah, it's Ted.No, no, no, no.I did not approve that change for the blueprints for the new GNB headquarters for which I'm the head architect at only 30 years old.Yes, I'm single and I give to charity.What does that have to do with anything? All right, goodbye, Mr.Mayor.You know that was a fake phone call, don't you?
Yes, and I also know that the new GNB headquarters project was scrapped last month.Nice try.
Hot, talented, and nobody does that many Woody Allen movies without serious daddy issues.
If I could nail any celebrity, it would be Lily.She's the star of my heart.
Aw! For me, it'd be Hugh Jackman.
You know, I don't know, celebrities, they're into some really weird sex stuff.Trust me.
How would you know that?
This is embarrassing, but I I went home with a celebrity one night.
Oh, my God! Seriously?
Yeah.He wanted to do this really freaky thing with me, so I left.That's it.End of story.
No, no, not end of story.I need to know who, what, when and in where.Spill it!
Lily, please settle down.You're swallowing too much air.
But before you go any further, I'm flattered, but technically, I'm not a celebrity.And plus, for the last time, I put the mask on as a joke.
Okay, not you, Barney.
Okay, who is it?
Okay, now you gave Lily the hiccups.
Okay, I won't tell you anything specific, but all I'll say is he is Canadian-born, but you definitely know this guy, and he got me back to his place by offering to show me a very unique collection.
What do you mean, collection?
Well, you know how some people collect, like, stamps or coins? It's like that.But I'm not telling.
Well, at least tell us the weird thing he wanted to do.
I don't know what you call it in the States, but we have a name for it in Canada.Look, I've already said too much.
So, mystery celebrity who collects a mystery item asked you to do a mystery Canadian sex act.
Okay, I'll tell you.But only if you guess all three parts correctly.
Well, that's just impossible.
I don't even know any Canadian sex acts.
Well, you got your Sloppy Dog Sled, your Alberta Fur Trapper, your Full Mountie
How do you know all these?
Canadiansexacts.org, it's bookmarked on the top right.
Yeah.It's not for profit.They really just want to get the information out there.
Hey, so, I just had the weirdest conversation.This woman at GNB told me that the new bank building was scrapped last month.That's crazy, right? Wait, what What was that look?
Should we tell him?
I don't want to tell him.
I think we should tell him.
We're not telling him.
There was no look.
Guys, what the hell?
Okay, it's time that you know the truth.A few weeks ago, Bilson called us into his office.
We're scrapping the plan for the new GNB headquarters.This recession is killing us.We're cutting anything non-essential.And I have a lot of tough choices to make at the bi-quarterly retreat in Saint Croix.
Man, Ted is gonna be devastated.
Not when he hears it coming from his best friend.
I have to tell him?
I have to tell him?
You should tell him, you're his best friend.
Am not, you're his best friend.
Am not, you're his best Am Quiet, here he comes.
What, the white dude or the Asian fellow? See? I barely know the guy.
Hey, Ted, what's up?
Hey, how're you doing?
I'm frustrated.Anything innovative I put in my designs, Bilson just hacks out with a machete.I hate having to answer to a guy like that.
You should drop the project.
You should totally drop the project.It's beneath you.
Then it's settled.To Ted Mosby's new chapter.May the wind be at your back, and may the road
Are you kidding? They just laid off another architect at my firm.I mean, Bilson's a pain, sure, but without this project, I'm probably out of a job.
lay off 解雇する
Right.Um, it's funny that you mention the project, because
You're nailing it.Keep up the good work, buddy.Your hair and teeth look fantastic today.You're shining like a diamond!
Thank you.I needed that.All right, I'm going to head upstairs and keep working.I've got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium.I think you know what I meant.
What was that?
I I have a thought, okay? We're paying Ted's firm for two more months of design work, no matter what, so couldn't we just let him keep working and not tell him? He's had a rough year.Let's let the guy be happy a little while longer.
Marshall, what you're suggesting is an elaborate, long-term lie that requires tremendous commitment.A nice guy like you can't pull that off.
elaborate 入り組んだ tremendous とてつもなく大きい
Sure I can.
Lie to me right now.
Okay.I have a spaceship.
What kind of fuel powers your spaceship?
Okay, I don't have a spaceship.
No! Stand your ground.If someone questions you, distract them from the original lie with more lies.Here, let me demonstrate.I own a pony.Ask me a question.
Okay.Um What color is your pony?
Well, when I first got Dandelion, she was a deep chestnut brown, but sadly, her stable is located near a chemical plant which contaminated the drinking water.So over time, she's turned a sickly, grayish-white color, and there's nothing that the vet can do to fix her.
stable 馬小屋 contaminated 汚染された sickly 病弱な
My God! That's horrible.Is Dandelion going to be okay? Okay.All right.You are good! Dandelion's not even sick, is she?